Path of Sorrow
by Laserif
Summary: It's never easy to make a choice, especially when each one you make has a consequence. Life itself is a gamble, and it's easy to blame yourself for losing a hand. Sometimes, it takes a lot of love and devotion to make those choices, and even more to convince the one you love of their merit. Book 2 of the updated Path series. R&R Encouraged and appreciated! Complete!
1. A Bloom in Winter

**Author's Note: Good Evening everyone! I'm proud to announce the start to my 2nd installment in my Path trilogy. For those who do not know, I wrote Path of Memories some time ago, and I had decided to make it a trilogy.**

 **It's not required to read Path of Memories first, but it is meant to be the first in the series, as it sets up a lot of questions that get answered in both this story and the following one. It's still just as enjoyable afterwards, though, so if you're interested I definitely invite you to read it as well.**

 **Chapter 2 of this story will be uploaded on June 5th, 2016. The story is already pretty much done and entering its final edits, so I'll be sticking to a pretty good schedule with this. It won't be left unfinished nor will you be left waiting a long time for a chapter.**

 **I hope you enjoy the read, and I highly appreciate any comments or critique you can offer. All I ask is that it is constructive~**

 **Best regards,**

 **Serif**

* * *

Chapter 1: A Bloom in Winter

=^x^=

He paced uncomfortably across the room, his glasses teetering at the very tip of his nose. He kept his hands in his pockets, worried he'd start biting his nails again if he took them out. His hair was falling out of its ponytail, and his exhaustion gave him a rather haggard appearance. He couldn't help it, though. He wasn't sure how long it had been since an update, a sign, or even a sound from the other room.

He wiped sweat from his brow and fell into one of the waiting room chairs, burying his head into his hands. He didn't know why he was so worried. After all, it wasn't the first time he'd played this waiting game. He knew how it went by now. Still, it didn't erase that creeping feeling of dread at the pit of his stomach, that worry that something, at any point, could go drastically wrong and leave him every possible shade of helpless. After all, it had nearly happened before...

No, he thought to himself, things will be okay. You always worry like this.

He chuckled to himself.

I mean, I'm kind of the one who set this place up. I should know things will be all right...

He shook his head and groaned softly.

But that just means it's even more my fault if...

His thoughts were cut short by a sound he'd been anticipating all day: a baby's cry. In what looked like a single movement, he leapt out of the chair, dusted himself off, and drew in a shaken breath as the door swung open, and he met the eyes of an elderly woman with a pink shawl draped over her shoulders. To most people, she could look quite scary, but the warm smile and glowing look in her eyes when she saw him was the most welcoming thing he'd seen all day.

"Irene...?"

"7:09 PM and perfectly healthy. Very little complication."

He let out a relieved sigh, and she laughed understandingly.

"Come see."

She beckoned him inside. He gulped nervously and followed her through the door, his hands still clenched inside of his pockets. She patted him on the shoulder as he moved past her, and the sight he'd been so anxious to behold all day finally came into view: his wife, exhausted and glistening with sweat, her cheeks as red as the day she was born, but still as beautiful as ever. In her arms lay a bundle of pink blankets, its contents barely visible until he moved closer. She gazed up at him, her eyes just a bit teary, and held the bundle out to him.

"Meet your daughter..." she whispered, and the genuine happiness in her smile was enough to make his heart swell.

He took the tiny pink bundle into his arms and gently pulled back the blankets. Her cheeks were puffy and pink, and she stretched ever so slightly. He placed a finger within her tiny palm, and she gripped it tightly. He rocked her gently, unable to stop smiling, and he sat on the bed beside his wife, who was laying back on her pillows, her eyes tired but warm, shining happily.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, brushing stray strands of hair out of her face.

"Tired," she answered, laughing softly, "but I'm also excited to finally see her."

"Me too..."

His gaze fell back to his daughter, whose feet were gently kicking inside the blankets. He planted a little kiss on her forehead and smoothed out the bit of red hair topping her head.

"I can already tell. She's gonna look just like her mother," he said, eyeing his wife with a smile.

"She has your nose."

"She has your beauty..."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Please. I'm a mess."

"You're still the most gorgeous creature I've ever laid eyes on."

"I have enough cheese on the farm without you, Jin..."

He laughed and ruffled her hair.

"It's good to know motherhood still hasn't dulled your tongue, Rei..."

"If anything, it's sharpened it."

"You're not wrong."

Rei held out her hands, and Jin placed the baby back into her arms. She cradled her against her chest and gently rocked her, cooing softly. Jin watched, admiring his wife's glow. She scooted over so he could lay beside her, and they rested their heads against each other.

"I told Irene to call Luna," she said softly, "I know poor Alex is probably out of his mind right now."

"Considering how bad I was, I can only imagine he's dying for news."

"Ha. You were worse last time."

"Well it was also the first time..."

"And this is the last."

She stretched her legs a bit and slumped down a little, her head falling onto his shoulder, his still resting against hers. He could still smell hints of shampoo in her hair.

"For now, at least," Jin murmured, closing his eyes.

"No. Forever."

"Aw Rei..."

"We agreed on two."

"And two it will remain..."

He snuggled up to her a bit more, silently admitting defeat. Their first child had been a rather difficult birth, and considering a second one had been a hard decision for them both.

"I'm proud of you..." He said, his voice flowing into her ear in a soft whisper.

"Proud of me?"

"Two beautiful children, all thanks to you."

"Hey...I had a little help, you know."

"Only a little...even through the troubles you had..."

"Thankfully the worst this little one did was keep me waiting..."

"If that's the worst of it, I'll gladly take it."

He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arm around her. He felt so warm and comfortable beside her, with only the sound of her and the baby's gentle breathing filling the room, and he fell into a light dose. He could feel her fingers slowly grazing his cheek, playing with his hair. He heard her humming softly, felt every slight movement, knew from the way her shoulder moved that she was gently rocking their daughter as she hummed.

"Jin?"

"Mm..."

He moved sleepily, and she giggled lightly.

"Jin...what are we naming her?" Rei asked.

"We're not naming her Emma?" He replied, cracking an eye on slight surprise, "Your heart was so set."

"I know, but..."

She gently passed the baby back into his arms.

"Look at her. Does she really look like an Emma?"

Jin didn't need to look for long.

"She doesn't. Not at all."

He smiled and kissed the baby's forehead. She was waking up, and her curious eyes slowly fluttered open. She gazed up at her father, and a smile spread across her face. He saw the world in her eyes, the sincerity in her cute smile. Rei's sincerity. He thought of Rei, thought of how their first real meeting had taken place where all they heard were waves crashing against stone...

"...I like Nami," he said softly.

"Nami?"

"Yeah...she just looks like a Nami..."

Rei thought for a moment, and her eyes lit up.

"You're right," she said, "It fits her perfectly."

She embraced him and kissed his cheek, and his glasses fogged up a little.

"Our little Nami..."

=^x^=

Jin wasn't sure how much time had passed. All he knew was the room had suddenly become crowded. He reached blindly for his glasses, not succeeding until a cheerful giggle chimed out from somewhere nearby, and two petite hands placed the glasses onto his face.

"Good to see you awake, Jin!" a cheery voice said.

"Oh, Luna," he mumbled, half-yawning, "How was Alex?"

"Like a rocket itchin' to take off," Luna said, "Poor boy couldn't sit still. He could've run the globe on anticipation alone."

Jin gazed sleepily around the room. He was curled up in an armchair by the bed. A small boy with wild black hair was sitting on Rei's bed, and she was showing him how to properly hold the baby. The boy looked to Jin and beamed.

"Dad, look, I'm holding the baby!" he whispered excitedly.

"Good job, Alex," he said, stretching and walking over to the bed, "Are you excited to meet your sister?"

"Yeah but she took forever!"

Jin grinned and ruffled his son's hair. Alex looked up to him curiously.

"So how long till she can play with me?" he asked.

"You can play with her when she's a little older, but she can't play rough games like you and Vivian play," Jin explained, "You need to be careful with babies."

"They're fragile," Rei added, "You know how you play with Angie? You need to be quiet and calm when you play with the baby, okay?"

"Alright, mama," Alex agreed, smiling broadly, and he looked back down at Nami, "You're gonna be so good at all my games."

Luna plopped down next to Rei as Alex and Jin fixated themselves on the baby, and the two shared a knowing grin.

"Was it a difficult one this time?" she asked.

"A little, but nothing like the first time," Rei said, "It was more the waiting than anything. She was still pretty comfortable in there, apparently. But we had to get her out a bit earlier than she wanted..."

"Well, when she gets older, just tell her we couldn't wait to see her anymore."

"I wouldn't be lying...plus I must admit..."

She leaned over and whispered into her best friend's ear: "I'm dying for a drink..."

Luna barked out a short laugh.

"Remember when I made Gill sneak wine into my room after Vivian was born?" she whispered.

"He told us the bottle was in your mouth before you were even done pushing."

"Oh, he exaggerates." She waved her hand dismissively and shook her head, but the grin grew ever wider. "I'm pretty sure I let him cut the cord first."

The girls giggled softly, and Rei's eyes fell back to Jin. His arm was around Alex, who was gently rocking his baby sister in his arms. The two were talking quietly.

"He wanted a daughter..." Rei whispered so only Luna could hear, "I got my boy, and he got his little girl. Our little family has become just what we wanted..."

"I'm glad for you," Luna said, "Gil loves Vivian, but I know how badly he wanted a son. I don't know if I want to go through another pregnancy though..."

"After what you went through, it's probably for the best."

"That little one scared me far more than anything in this world could ever manage..."

"Nobody can blame you."

"I'm just glad you and I got through it well. After the trouble you had the first time, I have to admit I was just as anxious as poor Alex." She thought for a brief moment. "Though, watching you go through it again and come out of it so well is helping me reconsider."

"You know I'd be there every step of the way."

Rei pat her on the shoulder.

"I'll always make sure things are okay, no matter what," she said, popping one of her cockier grins, "After all, I have a bit of a knack for it..."

Bells rang in the distance as she spoke, and Luna cocked a knowing brow at her.

"You two planned that," she said, laughing.

A sly smile graced the redhead's rosy face, and she teased her best friend with a little wink.

"Nah, she just knows me too well."


	2. The Confidant

Chapter 2: The Confidant

=^x^=

Jin lay reclined in the armchair by the television. Nami lay on his chest, bundled up in pink blankets and sleeping quietly. He was reading, but he couldn't help but steal glances at his sleeping daughter, watching her tender little face as she dreamt of things he'd never be able to imagine. He adjusted himself slightly and returned his gaze to his book, and he had a fleeting prideful thought when the baby didn't stir. It'd taken time, but he was confident he'd mastered the art of remaining comfortable while a sleeping baby was in his arms.

It had been necessary, to say the least. He couldn't figure out why, but the baby would cry incessantly unless she was placed into his arms. Unless it was for a feeding, Nami was almost never content with Rei's touch. She'd thrash and scream to the point where Jin had begun taking her to the clinic with him. It wasn't a problem, really. Irene loved her to pieces and was more than happy helping Jin watch her, especially when a patient walked in, but he was worried about the emotional toll it took on Rei.

He thought back to Alex's infancy. Alex hadn't cried at Jin's touch, but he certainly didn't hide the fact that he favored his mother to the timid doctor. Rei had been fun. She'd made a baby sling and took Alex out with her to the farm. She'd bounce around and sing and make the kid laugh more than Jin could ever manage, even when he did loosen up and let himself act a bit more like his inner child. She'd let him pet the cows and the horses, and when he got a bit older, she'd let him run around the fields with the lambs. His first official chore had actually been brushing the little sheep, and he loved it so much that he would wake up at the crack of dawn to do it.

Despite it all, Jin knew he and Alex were close. Alex absorbed every lesson and word he ever said. Alex showed Jin a respect that he'd, quite honestly, never seen from most people. His son clearly respected wisdom, and he showed it every time he looked him in the eye. It was clear, though, that Alex was convinced Rei was the "fun" parent, and he himself was more of a free spirit. He liked exploring and learning. Rei was a crazy adventure in his eyes, so it was natural that he gravitated in that direction.

Jin knew, without a doubt, that Nami wasn't that different. The baby was always alert, and her eyes were filled to the brim with curiosity and wonder. She was approaching the age where everything in the world was fascinating, and soon she'd be attempting to crawl and make the world her own. For some reason, though, she didn't see Rei as the source of that adventure. For her, it was Jin.

Nami loved being tossed around, danced with, and spun until she was dizzy, but not by Rei. She loved the outdoors, but not with Rei. She loved the animals, the farm, and the village they lived in, but not with Rei. Going anywhere with her mother was a measure of patience and tolerance, both of which his loving wife lacked innately. Her patience was forced, and despite her ability to stay cool under pressure, Jin could clearly see that his wife's foundation wasn't exactly sturdy in that regard. He, on the other hand, had developed an almost scary reservoir of the stuff. He'd always been a calm child, probably the only one on the planet who could sleep easily on Christmas Eve, and his line of work had only worked to make him an even more patient man.

He wondered if his daughter could see that, and if she just happened to prefer his calm, consistent nature to Rei's more happy-go-lucky and unpredictable attitude.

At the end of the day, though, he just couldn't fully believe that was the case. Despite their closeness now, Jin had a nagging thought at the back of his head that Nami would grow up and drift towards her mother. It was an ugly thought, really, and he wished he never had it. He wanted Rei and Nami to be close, but he wanted to be close to her, too, in the way he wished he and Alex were. He wanted her to come to him, to have fun with him, to bond with him on a deeper level than respect. For once, he wanted to be the "fun" parent, but he couldn't help but think that desire would go unheeded, and his daughter would drift.

So, while he could, Jin kept Nami close. If he couldn't enjoy it for much longer, he'd simply milk it for all it was worth now.

He tore himself away from baby and book for a brief moment to glance at the other end of the room. Candace was over, her blue hair elegantly tied in a big bow, her frail fingers clutching a cup of tea. Rei was sitting with her, and the two were laughing. Candace's daughter, Angie, who had inherited her father's crazy purple hair, was playing with Alex. He couldn't help but chuckle when he noticed Angie was playing with the wooden horse.

Alex never let anyone be the horse.

He glanced to the numerous wooden animals sitting in a box in the middle of the room. Alex and Angie kept running around it, grabbing another animal every so often to add to their race, and he thought back to when Alex had first opened that box up at the age of three. Jin smiled to himself; he and Rei had spent months carving, sanding, and painting those little animals until they were perfect. It had been a long endeavor, often keeping them up late at night, but it had been fun, and the wide-eyed excitement they brought to their son's face that Christmas had made the entire endeavor much more than worthwhile.

Jin was snapped out of his reveries by his son climbing up beside him. He curled up and gently patted the baby's back, while Angie peeked over the side of the armchair.

"Papa. Can I hold the baby?" Alex asked, his eyes big and pleading, "I know how to do it by myself, now."

"Not scared anymore?" Jin teased, tousling his son's hair, "Alright. Like I taught you."

He placed the baby into Alex's lap, and he positioned his arms to support his baby sister. He had come a long way from the first time he held her at birth, when he still needed Rei's help. Jin smiled as Nami gripped Alex's hand, and he called out to Rei, "Mama! She likes me! She's holding my hand!"

Candace and Rei walked over, Rei placing her hand on Jin's shoulder and Candace rubbing Angie's back. Angie looked up to her mother with large and curious eyes.

"Was I this small when I was a baby?" she asked.

"A little bigger," Candace answered, "Nami came two weeks early, so she's a little smaller than you were at this age."

"She couldn't wait to see her papa," Rei teased.

She planted a kiss on his cheek and wrapped her arms around him. He lay back against her for a few moments before taking Nami back into his arms and moving upstairs. As much as he liked company, Jin couldn't handle much of it. Everyone had come to expect it, though. He was, after all, the shy and quiet doctor of Castanet.

It was a bit funny. Since he met Rei, he'd started to come out of his shell a little. Still very much the introvert, of course, but he'd become a bit more appreciative of the town's inhabitants, and even found himself becoming a bit more of a conversationalist. He blamed the fiery redhead downstairs for that, mostly because during social outings she'd outright challenge his silence, and the two would end up playfully bickering and chatting until they were the only two talking.

But despite all of that, most of Castanet's inhabitants hadn't noticed the doctor had grown a bit chattier, and he found himself not bothering to correct them. He still appreciated his solitary moments enough to let the town believe he was still the timid little doctor they were so accustomed to.

He lay across the sofa, not stirring Nami in the slightest as he positioned himself to his comfort. He returned to his book, his arm securely around the baby and his eyes scanning every word. The television was on in the background, and he glanced to see the cute little weather girl, Ellen, reporting that it would rain tomorrow. He made a mental note to tell Rei to keep the animals inside, then returned to the written words before him.

He hoped Nami would share his love for books someday. If anything, that was one of his most sincere hopes for her, even if they shared little else. He wanted her to see the same adventure and imagination that he did whenever he cracked one open. It was something Alex wasn't really interested in, despite Jin's subtle attempts. He could go on and on about the amazing things that happened, and while Alex would politely listen and engage, he never truly related. Rei couldn't either, mostly because she hadn't really picked up a book since her school days and claimed she was just too busy to really get into one now. He personally felt Rei just enjoyed making her own adventure more than reading about it.

Jin could easily talk to Candace or Anissa, but Anissa had been avoiding him lately, and Candace tended to bond more with Rei nowadays. The throes of motherhood had bonded the two women, and Candace seemed to not have much interest in talking about her library anymore. She did still make it a point, however, to loan Jin a book every week or so, or to at least tell him something new was in the library and he should check it out. For that, he remained grateful, and on the off chance he managed to beat Candace to the punch, he always returned the favor.

As the night moved on, Jin's eyes began to fall. He pressed on for just a few more paragraphs, making it to the last few words of the penultimate chapter before his world faded.

=^x^=

"Jin?"

He didn't react at first, but he felt a gentle shake and began to stir.

"Wake up," a soft voice whispered, "Please? It's important."

He forced himself awake with a grunt and saw Candace standing over him, quivering slightly. She looked as if she'd seen a ghost.

"Candace?" he murmured, straightening out his glasses and steadying the baby as he pushed himself into a sitting position, "Everything alright?"

"Um...well...I..."

He studied her with concern and gestured for her to sit. She obeyed, and after a few moments he said, "Candace, I haven't seen you this nervous since you and Julius got hitched. What's wrong?"

"It's...um, well, Rei..." she stammered, shaking her head in frustration.

"What about her?" Jin asked. He rested his head against the sofa's back.

"Well, um...she mentioned her parents."

Jin couldn't suppress the sharpness in his eyes, and Candace's eyes widened in apologetic fear.

"I-I'm sorry!" She blurted out, "I just happened to ask and she kind of said a bit, but then got cold with me. I didn't mean to upset you or-"

"Candace...please."

Jin gazed down at Nami, who had begun to stir, and gently calmed her down until she returned to peaceful sleep. He looked back to Candace, his expression returning to the familiar calm she was comfortable with, and he could almost hear her heart rate slowing down. He thought for a few moments, searching for the best words.

Part of him really wanted to tell Candace, and he'd actually urged Rei to confide in both her and Luna on multiple occasions. He always thought it would be good for her to at least know the girls wouldn't judge her, and that she could trust more people in this world than just him.

But he was sworn to secrecy, and no matter how good he felt it might be for Rei, he couldn't tell the nervous young woman before him anything too concrete.

"Candace, I know you're worried, but Rei let something slip that she wasn't ready to share. Family is a sensitive subject to her, and also one I can't betray to anybody. I'm sorry, but this one stays between my wife and me."

Candace sighed deeply, but nodded. Jin gave her a tiny empathetic grin before his eyes fell back to Nami.

"She's beautiful," Candace murmured.

"Yeah, but tiring," Jin murmured, unable to stifle the yawn that followed, "She's stuck to me like glue."

"You don't seem to complain much, though," she teased lightly.

"Yes. You're right." He gently tucked the blanket a bit tighter around Nami's delicate frame. "If I had my way, she would stay a daddy's girl for life..."

"You never know. She might."

Jin laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, that won't happen," he grunted.

Candace blinked in confusion.

"What would make you say that?" she asked.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it," Jin answered, waving it off.

"Are you scared she'll grow apart from you?"

Jin's expression gave away just how right she was, and she lay a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I am," he admitted, "Rei's so joyful and full of life. I wouldn't be surprised if Nami attaches herself to her mother once she's a bit older."

"Like Alex?"

"Alex and Rei were attached at the hip from his first minute but...yeah, like Alex."

Candace smiled understandingly. Her own little Angie tended to stick to her like glue, and she had seen a little pain in Julius's eyes from time to time because of it.

"Jin, no matter what happens, your children love you," she said, "Alex adores you. I see it in his eyes. And I know Nami loves you more than anything. You have nothing to fear. I promise."

Jin tried to hide the chuckle, not because Candace was wrong or naive, but because she always seemed to recover best when she could set aside her own worries for the sake of others. No matter how frantic or how nervous she ever was, she always transformed into the most reliable friend in the world if someone else was feeling down.

He admired it about her. Sometimes, he was sad she hadn't followed in his career path. Candace would have been a lovely sight in the medical world, no doubt.

"Thanks," he said, tossing her a meek smile, "I guess I'm just afraid to lose this closeness. Alex and I are close, but not in the way I wanted us to be. I'm worried that Nami and I will have a similar relationship."

"No way," Candace said, and she actually laughed a bit, "I'm sorry, but I just don't think it's possible. You're worrying over nothing."

"Heh...maybe."

They talked for a few more moments before Candace stood and gave Jin a small hug.

"I should get back downstairs," she said, "Rei should be back with the kids in a few moments."

"Where'd they go?" he asked.

"Ice cream," Candace chuckled, "It's a little late, but it won't hurt 'em. I figured I'd tidy up the living room so she doesn't have to."

"Candace, you're our guest. I'll do it."

He started to get up, but Candace gently pushed him back.

"My child made just as much of a mess," she said, "so I would like to help clean it up."

"My kid made half of it, so I propose we both do it."

"I think that's a fair deal."

Jin placed Nami into her crib and followed Candace downstairs, and the two picked up the various toys littering the floor. Of them all, though, Jin noticed all of the wooden farm animals were safely in their crate. He moved it to a safe area and continued cleaning, and he and Candace had the room spotless just as Rei returned with the two kids.

"Oh, guys, you didn't have to do that," she said, mildly surprised, "I would have cleaned up."

"Nonsense. You shouldn't have to do it all," Candace said, "Angie, sweetheart, you ready to go home to Daddy?"

"Yes, Mama," Angie said obediently.

Candace picked her up, giving her a little peck on the cheek as her daughter took a bite out of her ice cream cone.

"Thanks for having us, Rei," Candace said, "It's always a pleasure."

"Any time, Candace," Rei said, smiling.

Candace moved towards the door, but stopped just short and gazed back to her friend.

"Rei...I do apologize for earlier, and I will not pry," she said softly, "but I do want you to know that if you ever need someone, you know where I am."

"Thanks, Candace..."

Rei gave her a hug and ruffled Angie's hair before sending them out. She turned to Jin, who was standing in the center of the room, and glanced over to Alex.

"Alex, sweetheart, why don't you go upstairs and keep an eye on your sister," Rei suggested.

"Okay, mom."

Alex ran upstairs, and Rei tilted her head towards the kitchen and walked in, her husband following. She reached into the refrigerator and took out a bottle of wine. Jin watched as she silently poured them each a small glass, and she handed one to him. They tapped their glasses before their first sips.

"I'm assuming Candace spoke to you," Rei said flatly.

"She did. Yes," Jin replied.

"And?"

"I told her it was between us."

"Is that all?"

"Mhm."

He took another sip. Rei looked rigid, her eyes boring into his, and he looked right back into hers. After a few moments, she nodded and sat down at the table, resting her head on her hand.

"It was such a stupid slip," she muttered.

"Rei. Candace is very sharp when it comes to the heart," Jin said honestly, sitting across from her, "She's one of the most empathetic people I've ever met. Hiding things from her isn't easy."

"Oh yeah?"

"Rei, she was the first one to figure out I..."

He blushed furiously and downed another sip of wine.

"...wanted to marry you," he finished.

Rei gazed at him for a moment, then chuckled and finished her glass off. She refilled both glasses, and they tapped again.

"To be fair, you weren't THAT secretive about it," she said.

"Even so, Candace can read people very well," Jin pressed, disregarding his wife's obvious bait, "Believe me, it was just a matter of time before she asked about it, slip or not. If anything, you got it out of the way sooner."

"You think?"

"Yes."

He reached out and took her hand, meeting her gaze.

"When you're ready to talk about it, you can, and not a moment sooner," he advised, "Until then, it's nobody else's business but your own."

"And yours," she murmured.

"Not even mine."

"Jin..."

"Not. Even. Mine. And don't you go thinking anything bad will happen to me. Doctors are superheroes, after all."

Rei scoffed and resisted the urge to toss her wine at him.

"You'll never let me forget that, will you?"

"Of course not. It was the first genuinely nice thing you ever said to me."

"I said plenty of nice things!"

"Rei, your idea of nice isn't exactly common..."

"Oh so now you're calling me WEIRD, huh?"

"Like you called me a nerd?"

"That was a compliment!"

Jin laughed and downed the rest of his wine.

"I think maybe you shouldn't compliment me anymore, Rei," he teased, smirking.

"Oh...shush, you," she grunted, finishing hers off and refilling both of their glasses.

"Oh. Did I win this round, then?"

"This battle, maybe..."

Her eyes narrowed in mock evil as she took another sip of wine, and she placed a paper bag on the table's center. Jin smirked as she pulled out two small sundaes.

"But the war is still quite in my favor, young doctor."

"Well then, my dear, I guess I will have to try harder."

She sat still for a moment, then leaned forward and kissed him, her hair tickling his cheek.

"Something tells me you don't have to..." she whispered, pulling back slightly and gazing into his eyes, "Just...keep being you, okay?"

"I think I could do that...on one condition," Jin said, cocking a brow at her.

"Name it."

He pulled her into another kiss, and this time he gazed into hers.

"You do the same..."

Rei was silent for a few moments, and her expression showed a tiny hint of sweet tenderness before the trademark smirk returned.

"Go grab some spoons, superhero."


	3. The Gift of Motherhood

Chapter 3: The Gift of Motherhood

=^x^=

"Say cheese, everyone!" Rei announced, the camera ticking down.

"Cheeeeeese!" Alex cried.

Rei smiled and laughed as the camera flashed, and immediately pouted after she realized what had happened.

"We should take another," she sighed, "Jin, you didn't even look at the camera!"

"Huh? What?" Jin murmured, looking up, "Oh, sorry. Were you ready to take the picture?"

Rei rolled her eyes and walked to the camera, looking at the photograph in the small screen. She realized that, despite everything that had just gone wrong, it had come out perfectly. Her laugh had translated as a kind smile, and Jin's eyes were fixated on his now one year old daughter, who was cradled in his arms.

"We can take another one," Jin said sheepishly, "I'm ready now."

Rei smiled and shook her head.

"Nah, it's fine," she said, gazing lovingly at the picture, "It came out perfect."

Rei put the camera in her pocket and returned to the guests who had gathered in her living room. Luna and Candace were sitting on the couch chatting. Their grandmother, Shelly, sat with Alex and the other village children, telling stories as they munched on cookies. Luna's Vivian was shooting little glances and grins at Alex, who was focused on stealing glances at Angie. Kathy and Renee, from the bar and ranch, were telling funny jokes and dancing around. Anissa was sitting alone, smiling shyly at those who spoke to her. Irene was making coffee for everyone, and Rei quickly moved to help her out.

"I can't believe little Nami is already a year old," she sighed whimsically as Rei helped load coffee cups onto a tray, "They grow up so fast, don't they?"

"Yeah, they do," Rei sighed, "Hey! Who wants coffee!"

Various guests raised their hands, and Rei graciously took the tray and handed out cups. Irene filled them, and the chattering resumed. Rei sat between Luna and Candace.

"Vivian and Angie are getting so big," she sighed, looking to the group of kids around Shelly.

"I notice my little one's a bit taken with yours," Luna teased softly, elbowing Rei's arm playfully.

"And mine's after Candace's," Rei chuckled.

"Oh dear," Candace whispered, "It's a love triangle."

The trio watched with amusement as the little blonde finally got to her feet and jumped in front of Alex, and the two started to bicker. Angie backed away and clung to Shelly's skirt, and the old grandmother hid her laughter behind her hands.

"It begins," Luna whispered in a deep monster-like voice, and the girls laughed.

"Ten bucks on Vivian," Rei murmured.

"Such little faith," Candace scoffed.

The girls all giggled into their coffee for a few moments.

"So, does Alex like being a big brother?" Candace asked.

"More than I expected," Rei laughed, "I was worried he'd get jealous, but things worked out very well."

"How so?" Luna asked.

Rei gestured towards Jin, who was sitting down with Nami in his arms. Anissa had moved beside him, and the two were talking quietly.

"She clings to her father," Rei said, "Alex tends to drift towards me more. I was worried Alex would get a little jealous of the baby, but she wants so much of her father's time that it's not much of an issue. It's pretty easy to give them all the attention they need."

"Too adorable," Luna chuckled, "He's good with her."

"He really is," Rei sighed, "It's the cutest thing, seeing him with her..."

She smiled lovingly.

"I could always tell he was a little jealous," she murmured softly, her voice barely more than a whisper, "Alex was always so attached to me. He and Jin bonded very well, but at the end of the day, he always wanted me. So Jin would sometimes feel a bit...left out. So I'm glad Nami's clinging to him."

As she and the girls talked, Jin kissed his daughter's forehead, and Anissa gazed at her with loving yet saddened eyes.

"She's beautiful, Jin," she said, gently ticking Nami's hand and smiling meekly.

"I'm glad you're finally seeing her," Jin replied, his voice quiet and slightly withheld.

Anissa blushed slightly and broke eye contact, playing with her long brown hair absentmindedly.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, "I just..."

"It's okay. I understand."

She was quiet for a few moments.

"She looks like Rei," she said, "Her eyes, her nose, and my goodness that hair..."

"Yeah. She might as well have been cloned," Jin said.

He gently bounced Nami in his arms, and she laughed.

"Anissa, I'd love for you to come by more often," he said, his tone becoming more serious, "You've become such a stranger. I know it's my fault, but..."

Anissa shook her head and gently shushed him.

"No. It's not your fault, Jin. Your happiness is your own, and nobody else's. Perhaps next time, I shouldn't hide my feelings for so long..."

"'Nissa..."

"I don't say it with contempt, Jin. I need to be more forward with my feelings. When the time comes, I will put that into practice."

She managed a weak smile, and Jin managed a brief nod. It was hard to trust Anissa was okay, but she seemed stronger than he remembered, and he tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"I'll try to come by a bit more often, I promise," she said, her voice a bit firmer, "And Jin...you know if you ever need anything, all you ever need to do is ask."

"Thank you, 'Nissa. Though I already know I can always count on you."

He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she blushed slightly.

"Even after my...lesser moments?" she asked softly, looking away.

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"My reactions..."

"They were human, Anissa. That is all. After all these years, do you think I'd stop being your best friend..?"

"...No. You're right."

"Plus, I could have been a little better, too. I didn't respect your feelings as much as you deserved, and for that I am always going to be sorry."

"It's okay. I didn't respect yours either. I kept telling myself I was trying to save you from making a mistake."

She stroked the baby's hair and smiled.

"If this was a mistake, though, I am very glad you made it," she said, managing one of her more sincere smiles, and the doctor managed to smile back, "You're happy, and that's what matters most."

"Your happiness is just as important," Jin said, "and when you find the person who will give you all you deserve, I'll be right here to back you up."

She smiled and brushed her hair out of her eyes. It was times like these that she was glad they were still close.

"Thank you, Jin..."

=^x^=

As the party continued, more pictures were snapped. Rei filled the camera's memory by the time the cake was ready to come out. Shelly took Nami into her arms while Jin and Rei moved to the kitchen and lit the candle on the cake. The baby immediately grabbed the little grandmother's glasses off of her face.

"A whole year," Jin sighed, "Our lives are moving too fast, Rei..."

"Honestly, I'm a bit glad," Rei admitted, "I can't wait to see what our children grow up to be..."

She smiled and picked the cake up.

"And I can't wait to see some other things, too..."

"What other things?"

She winked at Jin and carried the cake into the living room, Jin masking his skepticism as he followed. Everyone clapped when they emerged, and a still glasses-free Shelly bounced Nami on her knee as everyone sang "Happy Birthday." The kids were all singing obnoxiously at the top of their lungs, even shy little Angie, who was so high on sugar that she was actually dancing. Jin took Nami, rescued Shelly's glasses, and held the birthday girl before her cake. He helped her blow out the candle as the room exploded into applause. Rei sliced the cake, and Jin fed little Nami her slice as Rei passed out the rest.

After more pictures and birthday presents, Nami was drifting off in her father's arms, and the guests were beginning to leave. All at once, the bustling and noisy home had become quiet and empty, leaving only the small family and a rather messy home.

Rei heaved a tired yet happy sigh and grabbed a garbage bag. Jin moved to help, but she kindly stopped him and motioned towards the other room.

"Why don't you put Nami to bed?" She suggested, "My big boy will help me clean up. Won't he?"

"Sure thing, mom!" Alex said excitedly, the sugar still running rampant in his system.

Jin watched mother and son for a few brief moments before bringing Nami into the nursery. He took a book from her bookcase and sat in the rocking chair, laying her against his chest and opening the book so she could see all the words and pictures, and he began to softly read. He moved his fingers along under the words so she could hear how they were pronounced, and made funny voices for all the different characters, even long after she had drifted off to sleep in his arms.

=^x^=

"Jin, sweetheart."

"Five more minutes..."

He felt a gentle hand petting his hair.

"I'm gonna put the baby in her crib, okay?"

"Yeah..."

He felt something warm being lifted away from him, and then the gentle hand pet his hair again. A few moments passed, and he lingered in the haze of sleep until soft lips kissed his cheek.

"Come on, hun. Let's go to bed..."

"I'm okay here..."

"Sweety, come on. Bed time."

His arm was being pulled. He finally opened his eyes. Rei was there, smiling and pushing his hair out of his eyes with her fingers, and a slight shock ran through his body when he realized his arms were empty.

"Where's Nami?"

"I put her in her crib. Come on.."

She gently pulled his arm again. He pushed himself out of the rocking chair and walked beside her into their bedroom. He immediately sank into bed, and he felt her crawling in next to him, felt her pulling the blankets over him and kissing his forehead.

"Any chance you can wake up enough to talk for a bit?" she asked softly, "I have some wonderful news..."

"Mm..."

His head felt so comfortable on the pillow. His eyes didn't want to open. But he forced them open anyway, and he gazed at Rei sleepily.

"What's the news?" he asked, yawning.

"Juniper," she said, smiling.

"What about her?"

"I talked to Cain and had her examined. She's perfectly healthy and in the prime of her life."

"That's wonderful, hun."

His eyes fell shut again, but she giggled and gently shook him awake.

"Hey. I'm not finished yet."

"Huh..?"

He forced his eyes open again. She was absolutely glowing, the same way she had when she had announced their last big surprise, and then 'wonderful news' and...

"Rei, wait..."

He shot up.

"You're...again!?"

She laughed.

"No, no!" she exclaimed, waving her hands at him, "No. That's over and done with. I still stand by the rule of two."

Jin would have chuckled at the reference if he hadn't been so confused, and all he could do was blink sleepily under Rei shook her head and spelled it out for him.

"Jin. I'm breeding Juniper."

"O-oh...oh!"

He laughed and settled back down.

"You're finally doing it, huh?" he said, smiling broadly, "Aww, Rei, it's about time. You've wanted to breed her forever."

"Yeah, but not for the same reasons I want to now..."

"Pardon?"

"I don't want to breed Juniper for profit..."

She cuddled up beside him and lay her head on his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"Motherhood has been the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me," she murmured, "You, our children...my life has become so happy thanks to our little family."

"That means a lot, Rei..."

He gently kissed the top of her head and held her.

"I'm glad it happened with you..." she whispered.

"I am, too..."

"I want Juniper to have this happiness, too..."

She planted a light kiss on his neck.

"I want her to be a mommy, just like me. It's time for her to retire from racing and enjoy the rest of her years with her family..."

"I agree..."

He pet her hair, and her eyes fell shut.

"It'll be wonderful," she whispered, "Imagine how beautiful her baby will be..."

"She'll be the most beautiful foal on Castanet..."

"I'll teach Nami to ride on her..."

Jin chuckled lightly.

"They'll grow up together," he murmured, closing his eyes, his fingers gently moving through Rei's hair, "Nami will be so excited to meet her..."

"She will...just like Alex fell in love with Juni..."

Their breathing began to soften, and her grip on him began to loosen.

"Jin..."

"Rei..."

"I love you..."

"I love you too..."

He gently took her hand in his, heard her breath fall into the quiet rhythm of sleep, and slowly drifted off beside her.


	4. A Woman's Heart

Chapter 4: A Woman's Heart

=^x^=

"It's done."

She announced it proudly, a wide smile on her rosy-cheeked face. Jin looked up from the couch, a book clasped in his left hand, and he gently pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and smiled.

"Juniper's well?" he asked.

"Perfectly. Cain says she's with foal, and she's healthy," Rei explained, her face glowing, "I think she's excited."

"So how do we prepare?"

Rei thought for a moment.

"Well, she's gonna be like this for awhile...till next year," she said, "The real issue comes the last few months. That's when the foal does most of its growth. For now, things don't really have to change much. Exercise is good for her, so long as it's not to extremes, and we already feed her a really healthy diet. The last few months, we just have to make sure she's as healthy and well-fed as possible, and we will have to lighten up on her exercise somewhat..."

She nodded her head at him.

"But otherwise, Juniper won't need much from us. The biggest prep we need to make is ensuring the maternity area of the barn is clean. When the time comes, she'll want to be alone."

"Alone?"

"Yeah. Mares prefer more...private births. Sometimes, they'll even manage to stave labor off for a little while if they're not comfortable with their conditions. Honestly, it's kinda easy to miss the first stage of it if you're not really watching."

"I see."

He laid the book on the coffee table and stood, stretching himself out before looking back to his wife. He loved seeing her like this, happier than she had been in years and filled to the brim with passion, showing off her love and intelligence. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, planting small kisses in her hair.

"Jin?"

"Mm?"

"Is it bad that I'm...worried?"

He pulled back slightly so he could look into her eyes, and he gently brushed some stray hair away before planting another little kiss on her forehead.

"No. Not at all, Rei. I was scared through both of your pregnancies, you know."

"Yeah."

"But nothing happened, right? Even when things got scary, they turned out okay, right?"

"Right."

"Regardless, were we not always prepared, just in case?"

"Yes. We were."

"So just make sure you're prepared for Juniper. When the time draws nearer, I'm sure Cain will be very much on call."

"Yeah. You're right."

He smiled gently, rubbing his thumb against her cheek.

"I just have this nagging feeling," she said quietly, breaking eye contact and twirling a loose strand of hair around her finger, "this...weird feeling that I may have made a huge mistake in doing this..."

"Sweetheart, Juniper's in her prime, isn't she?" Jin said, petting her hair, "You said so yourself, did you not?"

"It doesn't change the fact that she's a bit older than she should be for a safe first birth..."

"If she were at high risk, Cain wouldn't have let you do this."

She gazed up at him, her eyes like an endless forest. Eyes she had passed along to their daughter...

"You have kept that horse exceedingly healthy. You've showered her with more love than any sane person could manage. She's beautiful, she's healthy, and she's going to give birth to a stunning and gifted foal..."

He pecked her on the lips and grinned.

"I'm so sure of it, Rei. Everything is going to be just fine."

Her eyes finally returned to meet his, and she was smiling again.

"You're right, Jin. That makes me feel a lot better."

She stood on her tiptoes and brought her lips to his, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck, pulling him closer. He held her tight, brought her body against his, felt every supple curve as their lips met.

"Alex is at school..." she whispered.

"Nami is asleep," he murmured.

They kissed for another few moments before falling onto the couch, her laying atop him. She moved her hands through his hair, undoing the green tie that held it back and tossing it onto the floor. His fingers reached for the buttons on her shirt as her own were already undoing his.

"Rei..."

"Jin?"

"I love you..."

"Do you, now...?"

She brought her lips to his ear, gently breathing into it as she pulled the last button apart.

"Then show me..."

=^x^=

He woke up to Nami's crying some time later. He emerged from his bed, dressing quietly so he wouldn't disturb his lovely wife, and retreated into the bathroom for a brief moment before walking into his daughter's room. She was standing at her crib, gripping the bars to steady a pair of wobbly legs. She smiled the second she saw him.

"Well...good afternoon," he said, stooping down to meet her and rubbing his nose against hers. She giggled uncontrollably, clapping her hands and falling backwards onto her behind. He couldn't help but laugh back. Seeing the joy etched onto her face was still amazing to him, even after all of this time. He took her out of the crib and brought her to the changing table. He was just finishing a diaper change when Rei announced her arrival with a deep yawn.

"Nami up?" she asked.

"Up and rearing to go," Jin answered proudly, lifting the freshly changed baby and spinning around with her, the laughter echoing through their home.

"Wonderful. I actually have to run into town for a little while before Alex gets home."

"Would you like company?"

"Very much so."

Her eyes narrowed into a loving gaze, and she kissed him and her daughter before walking back into her room to change. Jin waited on the couch for her, bouncing the excited little girl on his knee until Rei emerged a few minutes later, freshened up and dressed comfortably in a pair of jeans and an over-sized hoodie.

"Shall we?"

She held her arms out for the baby. Jin placed Nami in her left arm and took his wife by the right, and they left the house arm in arm. Jin smiled when Nami didn't fuss.

"It's the hoodie," Rei muttered.

"Your daughter loves you," Jin sighed, rolling his eyes.

"It's the hoodie..."

"Rei..."

"It was your hoodie, Jin."

"Oh my God..."

"All this time, I thought it was magic..."

She tossed a teasing grin at him.

"...but she just loves your clothes."

"Rei I swear..."

"Oh, relax..."

The weather was absolutely gorgeous today, even for late February. It had just snowed yesterday, and the ground was still cold enough to resist the sunlight beating down upon it. Jin felt the warm rays on the back of his neck and let out a content sigh, even despite their friendly bickering. He glanced to Rei, who walked with her eyes full of wonder, as if even a simple trip outside the house was a big adventure. Nami's eyes held that same wonder as she looked around, taking in every sight the world had to offer.

Just like her mother, Jin thought, sighing.

He had to admit he'd always admired that about Rei. While he found this town too small and repetitive sometimes, Rei always seemed to find excitement in even the most minute details. She made everything into a fun adventure to the point where even he couldn't help but get a small jolt of adrenaline whenever they went anywhere together. Every walk, every trip, every chore was a little adventure, and her attitude rubbed off on him just a little bit every time. It was because of her that he was finally able to find a little fun in this village again.

Without her, he may have just never come back.

"Shelly!" Rei called, breaking away and fast-walking towards the tailor shop, "How are you?"

Jin paced about slowly behind her, his hands falling into his pockets. He laughed softly as he watched Shelly take Nami into her arms, tickling her feet and giggling when Nami's shrieks of laughter flew into the world. Upon seeing him, Shelly placed Nami back into Rei's arms and waddled over, her head barely reaching his shoulders as she gave him a big bear hug.

"Jin, sweetheart, just look at you," she cooed, pecking his cheek, "It's still so nice to see you smiling every day."

"Aww, Shelly," he murmured, his cheeks flushing red.

"Nami's growing like a weed!" she exclaimed, turning her gaze back to the child, "Soon she'll be walking and talking. Oh, I can't wait to hear the stories that'll come out of this one's mouth."

She and Rei shared a knowing laugh, while Jin shook his head and rolled his eyes playfully. He let the ladies talk for a few moments until Rei bade her farewell, and the two continued along their way. They passed a few other friends, most notably Renee and Kathy, who were hanging out in the Flute Field pastures feeding their livestock, and Candace and Julius, who were tending to the garden in their front yard. Jin tended to hang back and let Rei do the talking, though the girls always seemed to rope him into talking for at least a few moments before returning their attention to Rei.

It wasn't that he didn't like talking to them. Quite the contrary, really. He considered Candace one of his closest friends, and Shelly was like a mother to him. But he couldn't deny the fact that he simply liked being quiet, and he also loved to watch Rei talk to her friends. She was always so bubbly and animated, the type who always gestured with her hands, whose eyes lit up as bright as stars when she was telling a good story.

He was just more of an observer, truthfully.

That, and if he engaged in as much conversation as Rei, they would still be back at Shelly's shop.

When Rei closed her conversations, the two continued to the Marimba Farm. Jin smiled as they entered and, sure enough, Anissa was running the shop today. Her eyes flashed for a split second before she returned the smile and greeted the couple.

"Afternoon, Anissa," Rei said pleasantly, walking up to the counter as Jin hung back, observing the numerous vegetables on display, "I'm here to pick up the usual order."

"Already prepared it for you," Anissa said, smiling, "Let me go in back and grab it."

Her gaze met Jin's for a moment, and the two smiled before she broke eye contact and moved into the back room. Rei walked about with Nami, holding up various produce and saying the names.

"She's gonna be a great farmer someday," Rei said, tossing a knowing look at Jin, "You just watch."

"I still think she'll be a doctor," Jin murmured, grinning mischievously.

It was a playful argument they often had. When Alex grew up a little, he had immediately become fascinated with Rei's way of life. Even at his current age, Alex could name all of the living and edible (and some not edible) things on Castanet, and he always followed Rei around while she was doing farm work. She had even started teaching him how to do some of the work, and he helped her water the plants and feed the livestock on the weekends. With this in mind, Rei liked to think that Nami would turn out similarly, and she'd enjoy another round of farm education.

Jin, on the other hand, tended to argue that Nami wouldn't quite be like that. Even as young as she was, he could tell the child's eyes lit up more when she was read to, that her eyes followed his fingers as he moved along the words he was pronouncing. She didn't show that same light when Rei showed her the things that had fascinated Alex so much.

Of course, it was too soon to tell, but Jin had learned a long time ago to trust his hunches.

"Here you go, Rei. A little something for Nami, too."

Rei turned to see a big bag on the counter, along with a small stuffed sheep. Jin walked up to the counter and took the bag, while Rei reached for the little sheep.

"It's so darling," she said, "Where did you get it?"

"I made it."

"Really?"

Jin chuckled gently at Rei's surprise. He knew Anissa's work as well as anyone and had to force himself to remember that she was so secretive about her crafts.

"It's very good, Anissa," Rei said, "It looks so...professional."

"I've done it for a long time," Anissa replied, her face turning a little red.

"Really? You're a woman of many surprises, Anissa..."

Rei held the sheep to Nami. She reached out and took the little animal in her hands, observing its colors and various patches. From the looks of it, Anissa had used a lot of different fabrics to give the sheep a very patch-worked look.

"Well, we should be going," Rei said, bowing her head slightly, "Thank you for the lovely gift, Anissa."

"It's no trouble. Bye Rei."

She paused for a second before looking away, her face flushing just a bit more.

"Bye, Jin..."

Jin smiled and waved goodbye, slinging the heavy bag of seeds and supplies over his shoulder and following Rei outside. Nami was still observing the sheep, and Rei looked absolutely thrilled.

"See?" She said, grinning triumphantly, "I told you she's gonna be a farmer when she grows up."

But as Jin watched Nami's attention shift from patch to patch, from color to color, he merely shook his head.

"Nah. She likes the colors, not the sheep."

"Oh hush, Jin."

She pretended to get angry and stomp off, only to run back a moment later laughing and returning to his side, taking his hand in hers.

"I see you and Anissa are getting along better," Rei observed stoically.

"We talked at Nami's party," Jin replied.

"She still blushes so much around you."

Jin was silent for a moment, and Rei elbowed him playfully.

"I think it's cute," she said.

"I worry..."

Rei's eyes grew a little serious, and she gripped her husband's hand a bit tighter.

"Love is a funny thing," she said, "You mean a lot to Anissa. I think she's always going to go a little red whenever you enter a room. You just have that effect on her."

"I wish I didn't..."

"Don't wish that. She thinks you're very special, and I think it's very meaningful that she still keeps you so near and dear to her heart."

"You think?"

"Anissa's strong. It took a bit, but she seems to be okay with everything now. But coming to terms doesn't mean she just stops loving you."

She smiled softly at him.

"You don't just stop loving someone, Jin. Had this situation been reversed, I would have supported you and Anissa just as much as she supports us. And..."

Her cheeks went completely pink.

"...I would be blushing whenever I saw you, too."

The two walked together through the fields and back through town, and the bell signifying the end of the school day rang out as they approached.

"Good timing," Jin said.

They waited outside the school for a few moments until Alex came running out, jumping into his parents' arms and walking between them, holding each of their hands. They swung him back and forth as they moved, laughing and talking about their days as they moved along.

"Hey, Alex," Rei said, "I got a question for you."

"Sure, Mama!"

He looked up at her with big brown eyes, and Rei blushed slightly. His father's beautiful eyes...

"Do you think Nami will grow up to be a farmer? Or will she be more like Papa?"

Alex thought for a second, then turned his gaze to Jin and smiled wide.

"Like Papa, of course!" he chimed.

"And why do you say that, Alex?" Jin asked.

"Because Nami doesn't like any of my farm toys. She always goes and messes up the bookcase."

In a rare moment of pride, Jin tossed a smug grin at his wife.

"See? Even the kid gets it."


	5. Mother and Father

Chapter 5: Mother and Father

=^x^=

"Mama! Can I ride! Please?"

Alex had his mother by the arm, her entire body being jostled up and down as he jumped excitedly. She giggled and calmed him down before leading him out to the pasture, and he whooped excitedly.

The seasons were changing now. After a rather rough summer, autumn was finally kicking in. Rei gazed up at the leaves, most of them decorated in their best reds, golds, and oranges for the occasion. She breathed in the crisp evening air, emerald eyes taking in every sight they could. Soon, these trees would be bare, and another cold winter would bring lots of hot drinks, Christmas presents, and her daughter's second birthday. She scanned the fields for the aforementioned baby and spotted her atop her father's shoulders, throwing chicken feed everywhere and laughing at the top of her lungs while Jin stooped down and pet the hungry poultry as they rushed to eat.

Rei opened the gate to the stables and Alex calmed his nerves. His mother had explained how important it was to be calm around animals, especially the horses. He slowed down and walked like a gentleman towards the pregnant horse grazing at the far end of the field. Upon reaching her, he held out a few sugar cubes from the bag he always carried, and Juniper happily snagged them from his palm. He giggled, her tongue tickling him, and reached up to pet her as she chewed on the treats.

In truth, Alex could show up empty-handed and Juniper would have no qualms about him. He just couldn't bear to meet this horse without some sweets.

Rei approached next, hugging her eldest mare at the neck before placing the saddle on her back. Alex was still too young to do it himself, but he knew how to hook most of it up. Rei held it still as Alex secured everything, and when she double checked his work, she was proud to find he'd done everything perfectly.

"All right, little guy. Get up there," she said, winking.

Alex nodded excitedly, stepped into the saddle, and pulled himself onto Juniper's back. She didn't protest in the slightest, and she even looked reassuringly back at him as he steadied himself. He smiled and pet her white mane, then took hold of the reigns and moved Juniper to a comfortable gallop. Rei hoisted herself onto the fence post and sat, watching her son ride.

She had to admit, watching her Alex and Juniper together was always a proud moment. She'd began teaching him when he was four. Anyone else would probably be against it, but Rei allowed it because she trusted Juniper more than she'd trusted most people who had come through her life.

Juniper was blind, but nobody would know that unless she told them. Being born that way, Juniper had adjusted in different ways to the world, and most of that adjustment was done while under Rei's ownership. The two had formed a very deep relationship based on trust, with Juniper supplying the speed and Rei supplying the eyes. A blind horse racing had sounded absurd, even to her, and for a little while it seemed out of reach. Juniper had been scared and nervous, and Rei had been, too. Juniper was scared to be hurt, and Rei was scared she would make a mistake and hurt her horse.

They had come from that to now, where Rei's son could fearlessly ride. Juniper was far too gentle to ever throw, and never reared when spooked, for she knew that would only separate her from the very beings she trusted most. Juniper relied on those meant to take care of her to do their job, and Rei had never failed. In consequence, both had a certain reliance.

For Juniper, it was her safety and quality of life.

For Rei, it was her first instance of deep trust. Juniper had taught her that some things in this world could be relied upon, and it was thanks to that lesson that she hadn't pushed away the first person to fully earn her trust and, consequently, her deepest love.

Her gaze left her son for a moment and fell onto her husband and daughter, who were now walking towards the fence to watch Alex.

"Horsey!" Nami cried excitedly, pointing.

"Right, Nami," Jin said, "Do you know the horsey's name?"

"Horsey...Juni!"

Her little arms flailed excitedly as she remembered, and Jin placed a cautious hand at her back and laughed.

"Right. That's Juniper," he said, "and who's that riding her?"

"Brudder!" she blurted, giggling, "Awex!"

He couldn't help but chuckle at her pronunciation. She rocked about on his shoulders, spitting out word after word, naming everything she could within her world before finally looking down and blurting out a big loud "PAPA!"

Jin glanced over to the fence and saw Rei with her hand cupped over her mouth, no doubt giggling at her daughter's chatter. He smirked and headed over towards her, and she took Nami from his shoulders and cradled her in her arms.

"Are you having fun, Nami?" she cooed.

"Mama!" Nami squeaked, "Fun!"

"Good girl, Nami."

She cuddled the baby to her chest and returned her gaze to Alex.

"C'mon, Juni," Alex said quietly, gently kicking his legs against her, "Let's speed up just a little bit."

Juniper obeyed, and the two began to move faster. Alex was still learning to get used to the movement, but things hurt a lot less than they used to. He'd grown more adept at moving with Juniper, and he would sometimes lift himself off the saddle to imitate the jockeys. He could only do it for a few seconds before spotting a reprimanding gaze from his mother, though, so he did it very sparingly.

What Alex loved the most was the sense of freedom. On Juniper, he felt like he was his own person. Everything he did and everywhere he went, he needed his mom or dad. Mostly mom, since he liked doing the farm chores. He would wake up early every morning to meet her, and the two would go about their morning routines, watering all the crops, picking anything that was ripe, and caring for the livestock and horses. He loved doing it. His mother detailed everything she did, and Alex soaked every word she said up like a sponge.

He knew how to tell a fertilized egg from a normal egg. He knew how to milk a cow and sheer a sheep. He knew what plants did best in each season, and he could tell when most of them were at their most ripe and tasty. He had a general idea of fertilizing and rotating, and he had even helped his mother make winter feed supply for the animals. Most of all, he knew how to take care of horses.

Riding was important, but Alex knew so much more than that. He could read them. He knew when a horse was upset or happy. He knew when they were agitated or calm. It was a small gift he'd inherited from Rei, and she loved having him around because, despite Jin's comforts, she was still worried for Juniper.

But Juniper was fine. He knew it better than anyone else. She was as happy and as strong as she'd ever been, and Alex saw no need to treat her any more delicately than they already did. He could always tell when Juniper was restless, and part of the reason he'd wanted to ride today was because he could sense Juniper going just a little...stir-crazy. She loved galloping, loved exercising, and absolutely bathed in her affection whenever it was given. So he always asked his mother to ride when he sensed her like that, just because he wanted to ensure his mother's horse had all she needed.

He could tell she appreciated it, too.

After a decent chunk of time had passed, Rei whistled and gestured the pair over. Alex slowed Juniper down and guided her to the fence, and Rei bounced Nami in her arms.

"Would you like to say hello to Juniper?" she asked.

"Yeah," Nami said quietly.

Rei beamed as Juniper instinctively brought her head closer at the sound of Nami's voice. She adored Nami, and the little one had learned quickly to be gentle with the horse. She pet Juniper's nose and planted a tiny kiss on her fur, and the horse responded with a gentle nuzzle. Rei and Jin both gave Juniper pets and kisses before Rei instructed Alex to bring her inside. He nodded and led Juniper into the barn, setting her up with food for the night and sneaking her a few extra sugar cubes before returning to his home.

"Did I do good today, mom?" he asked, hanging his jacket and heading directly for his toy box.

"You did quite well today, Alex," Rei said, slightly stressing the 'well.' Her son was oblivious, already pulling out his blocks and building stuff in an unoccupied corner of the room. "Soon, though, we're gonna have to bug Juniper a bit less. She's entering the last months of her pregnancy, and those are very crucial."

"She's gonna want exercise, though," Alex pointed out, looking up from the colorful blocks and smiling.

"Of course. Just make sure you don't run her too hard."

"I never would, mom."

His eyes returned to his blocks, and Rei smiled before walking upstairs. Jin was curled up on the couch, reading to Nami and letting her repeat all the words. In a less excitable state, the little girl's vocabulary was actually quite good, and Rei almost boiled over with excitement at the thought of having real conversations with her. She suspected the same of Jin, noticing how eager he always was to read to her.

It was one thing to know your child, but it was another thing to really know them.

When Rei thought of Alex, she thought of a boy who was far more mature than he let on. He loved to act childish, but she knew from their conversations that Alex was growing up very well and taking a lot of lessons not only from her, but from Jin. He was fiercely protective of Nami, not just because he felt obligated as a big brother, but because he knew his father.

What often struck her the most, though, was how deep their conversations could be sometimes. She always thought of the one they'd had a bit before Nami was born. Alex had been riding Juniper, and Rei had been walking beside them, Juniper's reigns in her hand, her belly big.

"Hey. Mom?"

"Yes Alex?"

His eyes had looked so curious, the pupils darting from her own to her belly and back again. Rei could see where it was going, but she patiently waited for the young boy to find the words.

"Why did you want another baby?" he had asked.

"Well, your father and I wanted a big family," Nami had answered, smiling.

"It's just..."

He had paused and looked away, and Rei's gaze hardened slightly.

"What is it? Are you scared the new baby will take away too much attention?"

To her surprise, he shook his head vigorously, as if she had just accused him of theft.

"No, no! I'm really excited!" he said loudly, nearly flailing himself off Juniper. He latched back onto the saddle horn and blew a slight breath of relief, "It's just...I'm surprised you want more kids, mom, because..."

He thought for a few moments.

"You...never mention grandma and grandpa," he finally said, his gaze locked into hers, "You never talk about your family. You never mention sisters or brothers...not even a family dog. It makes me wonder..."

His eyes looked to the sky for a brief moment before returning to hers.

"Mom...sometimes you just seem really sad," he said, his tone low and serious, "Like...when dad's gone and you're kind of alone, you just seem to get very sad. And don't say you're lonely, because I know you're not. I know it's because you're thinking a lot..."

Rei couldn't really find the words to respond, so Alex filled in the gaps as she thought.

"When I'm alone, I think a lot," he admitted, "and when I think a lot, it's really easy for me to think of the bad stuff. So I try not to let my mind wander a lot, and I try to be with you or dad or my friends when it gets hard. But you..."

He shook his head.

"You seem...stuck sometimes, mom."

"...Sometimes I am."

His eyes widened at her admission. She smiled at him, but it wasn't a happy smile at all.

"Someday, I'll explain it all to you," she said, "but...I don't get what it has to do with having another baby."

"I asked because..."

He paused for a moment, then managed a small smile.

"I asked because I wonder if kids make you happy, mom," he said, "Like...would you be okay without dad? Without us?"

Rei stopped Juniper from moving and gently lifted Alex off of the saddle. Tall as he'd gotten, he was amazed at how easily his mother could still get her hands on him. She brought him down to earth and wrapped him in a huge hug.

"You, your father, and the new baby..." she whispered, "You three are the light of my life. Don't you ever forget that."

"I won't, mom..."

He wrapped his arms around her, and the two hugged for a few moments before Rei finally pulled back, her eyes glistening just a little bit. Alex pretended not to notice.

"Let's call it a night,"Rei said quietly, rising and taking Juniper's reigns again, "Go on inside. I'll get her settled, okay?"

When Rei brought Juniper into the stable, she'd broken down. She wished she could tell Alex everything, but he was too young, and she just wasn't ready. The only person who needed to know knew, and she wasn't ready to share any further. She wasn't sure she ever would be, honestly.

She was pretty sure Alex had seen her that night. She knew her son well enough to know he'd risk a peek into the barn, so she remained quiet and said nothing as she settled Juniper into her spot.

Whenever she questioned Alex's maturity or intelligence, she always thought back to that moment. Her son's eyes could see deeper than most, and she was surprised he'd even thought of his grandparents...if she could even call them that.

No. She really couldn't.

As her reverie ended, Rei sat on the couch and watched Jin and Nami read. She felt a certain calming warmth in her heart as she watched them, and actually refused Jin's offer when he started to hand Nami over to her.

"No," she murmured gently, "You read to her..."

When she looked at Nami, Rei immediately knew one thing for sure: she would always be her father's daughter.

Alex, for all of his similarities to Jin, had always drifted towards her. He toddled after her when he first learned to walk. He ran to her when he was upset. He loved his dad more than anything, she knew, but he simply connected more with her. She saw that same connection now, but in Nami and with her father.

Part of her was a little sad, knowing that Nami would always run to her dad. Every bad day or scrape, every proud moment, she would be jumping into Jin's arms first.

But she was also happy, because Jin had faced that same sadness.

Now they were even.

As night descended and the parents put their children to bed, the two sank into bed together and fell into a cuddle. For a few moments, neither said much, enjoying a light dose and the calming silence. As the two were enveloped in a comfortable warmth, though, Rei couldn't help but need to break the silence.

"Jin?"

"Rei?"

"Are you happy?"

Jin froze up for a moment.

"You only ask that when you've been thinking of..."

"No. It's okay. Really."

She snuggled up against him and kissed his neck.

"I want that to be a positive question today," she murmured, gazing up at him.

"Yeah..?"

He thought for a brief moment before drawing her into a deep kiss.

"I'm always happy, Rei..."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She snuggled up a bit closer. She hated warmth, except for when it was from him.

"I'm happy, too..."


	6. When Flowers Wilt

Chapter 6: When Flowers Wilt

=^x^=

Jin hadn't felt this tired since Nami's first months. He couldn't figure out why the two-year-old was being so fussy and impatient. She was kicking off her blankets and spitting out her pacifier, which she'd cried about for over an hour until he finally caved and gave it to her.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Jin asked weakly, bouncing her in his arms, "Come on, I've tried everything."

No matter what he said or did, she just kept fussing and crying and screaming incoherently about everything. This was completely new to him; she had never cried this much while with him. His presence had always calmed her, always stopped any tantrum or pain that made her act like this. He was so used to being the "magic touch" that he was legitimately lost on what to do for her.

To make matters worse, this had been going on all week. At one point, he'd even brought her to the clinic and checked her over along with Irene. He was tempted to do it again, honestly. Out of the entire week, today was the absolute worst she'd been.

"I'm calling Cain again. This is scaring me," Rei said hurriedly as she burst through the door, "Something is wrong, Jin."

"Rei," Jin said with a note of finality, "Cain was here half an hour ago."

"Yes, yes, I know."

"And what did Cain say?"

"He said it was normal..."

"Right. It's normal."

Rei heaved a deep sigh and relieved Jin of the screaming baby. He sank into a chair, letting his head fall into his arms on the table.

"But she's really fussy..." Rei murmured, patting Nami's back and gently swinging back and forth.

"You were, too, with your first pregnancy," Jin murmured into his arms.

"I guess, but still..."

"Rei. Cain is right nearby. If anything changes, he'll be here in an instant. But right now you need to calm down and give her time to herself so she can prepare. Horses like privacy."

"Yes yes I know...it really is no good if I continue to pester the poor girl, is it?"

She sank into the chair beside him, the baby still fussing.

"Jeez, can you remember the last time Nami was this bad?" Rei asked, bouncing the irritated young girl in her arms, "Maybe this is a sign or something."

"She's never been this bad," Jin yawned.

"No, she hasn't..."

Rei felt the child's forehead again and shook her head.

"No fever," she reported, "I already checked her over for any cuts or bumps."

"She ate an hour ago and I just changed her," Jin said, "I think it's just a mood."

"Or the planets aligned or something..."

"Sunspots.."

"Apocalypse."

"Repture."

"Alien invasion."

The two shared a weak laugh, followed by a questioning glance when they heard knocking on the door. Rei stood, gently ran a hand along Jin's shoulder as she walked to the door, and opened it to reveal two of her best friends waiting for her.

"Hey Rei!" a feisty blonde girl said, waving happily, "Renee and I were just in the neighborhood and figured we'd invite you out for a drink!"

The polite brown-haired girl beside her looked at Rei's tired face, then inched over slightly to look in at poor Jin, who was still collapsed on the table.

"...We chose a bad time, didn't we?" she asked sheepishly.

"No, no, Renee, there's never a bad time with you two," Rei reassured hurriedly, though Nami's fussy cries were definitely speaking against her at this point, "It's just been a bit of a rough night. Please. Come in."

The two girls came inside, and Rei closed the door. She walked back to the table and sat down.

"So you guys want me to come out for drinks?" she asked.

"Yeah. We figured it's been ages, you know?" Kathy said, "We miss our girls' nights."

"I really want to..."

Rei shook her head and stood back up as Nami began fussing more. Apparently, movement was a good thing.

"Today is just not a good day," she sighed, pacing about the room and trying to find the magic movement that would console her child, "Kid's been in a weird mood all week. Won't even quiet down when Jin holds her."

Jin groaned into the table.

"And as if that wasn't bad enough, Juni's fussy, too," she continued, her voice exasperated, "Cain's sure she'll pop on Wednesday. She's been pacing around the stall all day."

"You're sure she's not due now?" Renee asked.

"I already called Cain. He said not quite yet. He just thinks she's really antsy because she's a new mother."

"Makes sense," Kathy said stoically, "Look, this is all the more reason we should go out. You're stressed to high heaven, girl! We haven't seen each other in ages, and it looks like we're gonna be expecting even more delays. Let's take this one day while we can!"

"Oi, Kat, you're murdering me," Rei groaned, "Look, I'm dying for it, really, but Jin's taken the brunt of this lately so I can work and it's really taxing. I mean...look at him!"

Renee and Kathy laughed apologetically, but Jin pushed himself off of the table, walked to Rei, and took Nami out of her arms.

"It's fine," he said softly, trying to look less exhausted and managing a small smile.

"But honey..." Rei began, but Jin gently shushed her.

"You want this, right? Just try not to be too long..."

Rei wrapped him into a tight hug and heard him yawn. She felt awful, but Kathy was right. She hadn't seen her friends much ever since Nami was born, nor had she had any real opportunity to relax at the bar like she used to. Needless to say, she missed it.

"Just an hour, alright?" she said.

"Done!" Kathy cried, "Let's move, ladies!"

Jin watched as the girls disappeared almost within that instant. He sank back into his chair, the home quiet again with the exception of a loud and fussy baby.

"...Let's go see your brother," he murmured.

He walked into Alex's room and smiled. His son was scooting around on the floor playing with his blocks. He looked up at his father and smiled broadly.

"Hey dad!" he chirped happily, springing up and giving him a big hug, "You come to play?"

"Yes. Me and your sister," Jin said, trying his best to look perfectly awake and happy.

Nami was still unhappy and fussing, but Alex was so thrilled that he didn't even note the baby's sour temper. Jin gently placed her on the floor, and she crawled towards the toy box.

"Why don't you show Nami how to play with blocks?" Jin suggested.

"Sure! Come here, Nami!"

Jin sank onto Alex's bed and watched the two play. Nami was still in a mood, throwing blocks and toys about, but Alex honestly didn't seem to care. As a precaution, though, Jin found the box of Alex's wooden animals and moved them somewhere Nami couldn't reach. Even his well-tempered son would throw an enormous fit if those got damaged.

"Is Juni still going crazy, dad?" Alex asked as Nami threw more blocks, "Mama told me she's all worried."

"Juniper's going to be just fine," Jin said confidently, "Cain's already been by and seen her."

"Are you sure? I'm worried..."

"I know."

He leaned against the wall, watching the kids play. After a few minutes, though, he felt a feeling of dread.

It was one thing if Rei was worried thirty minutes after seeing Cain. Rei had been worried since day one. But Alex, who had maintained Juniper was perfectly fine, who had gone out of his way to help care for the horse, who had told his mother she was freaking out over nothing multiple times...

And then Nami's mood...

"...Alex, watch your sister for a minute," Jin ordered, "Don't let her out of your sight. Understood?"

"Yeah, dad. You got it."

Jin closed the door behind him and left the house. He raced over to the barn.

"Juniper's fine," he whispered to himself, "You're letting coincidences get to you. Of course Alex is worried. Nami's just in a bad mood. You're letting yourself freak out over nothing..."

But it didn't feel like anything. He neared the barn and tried to calm himself, whispering, "Cain was just here. Cain said she's okay. Juniper's fine...she's fine..."

His words echoed into the air as he entered the barn, and his eyes widened at what he saw.

Juniper was on the ground, barely breathing, and Jin could almost feel the life draining out of her.

He raced from the barn. He felt his heart dropping with every passing second and every breath he took. Within moments he was back inside and dialing the phone.

He'd dealt with critical times, nearly dead patients, stomach-turning events...all of those, he'd dealt with calmly, his head and heart kept in perfect balance. It was part of who he was. He kept a level head in bad situations, because a frantic doctor might as well be a civilian.

He was absolutely panicked now.

"Cain!" he yelled breathlessly the second he heard a voice, "Cain! Get here! It's...she's..."

The phone automatically went silent. Jin hung up and returned to the barn, sinking to his knees beside the horse and wrapping his arms around her.

"Hang in there," he whispered, burying his head into the mare's neck, "Please, hold on. If you go..."

He shook his head, tears stinging his eyes.

"She won't...she can't..."

The mare's breathing was rapidly getting weaker, more labored. Jin silently begged and pleaded, petting her and talking gently, trying to soothe her.

"Don't leave us, Juni..." he whispered, the tears finally falling, "Don't leave her..."

=^x^=

What was he going to do?

Jin sat on the porch, his head in his hands. No matter what he thought or didn't think about, the tears kept escaping his eyes. The thought of telling her, the very image of the reaction he knew she would have. All of it kept flowing in and out of his mind. His heart ached with every image.

He had put the kids to bed, even despite Alex's protests that it was too early and Nami's cries. He didn't want to risk Alex finding out. Not yet. The boy loved that horse every bit as much as his mother did, and he knew he'd been devastated. It had taken every ounce of control he possessed to look even remotely okay in front of his children, and even with all of that, Alex had looked concerned, and he swore Nami's mood got ten times worse.

He should have listened.

"Juni..." he whispered.

He almost never used her nickname. It was Alex who gave it to her. He'd been too young to say Juniper's full name, so he'd just say "Juni" and Rei just thought it was the cutest thing...

He shook his head, the tears stinging again. He held his legs to his chest and buried his face into his knees, unable to compose himself.

He wished he'd used that cute little nickname more often, now...

He could hear soft voices carried on the wind, and his heart just about stopped. Rei was almost home.

What would he tell her? How could he even start?

He felt guilty. Guilty that he'd regarded her worries so carelessly. Guilty that they hadn't called Cain again. Guilty that he'd even let Rei go through with her plan. He should have stopped her. Even after all of their research and taking every precaution, even after Cain gave Juniper a clean bill of health, he should have told Rei to reconsider.

She would have battled him, but in the end he knew she would have listened. Headstrong as she was, Rei respected him to a fault, and he could talk her into (or out of) anything if he put the time into it. It wasn't something he abused, but this was the one time he should have.

What happened to the cautious doctor Jin? What happened to the man who never took a risk unless absolutely necessary? What happened to the person who never would have ventured outside of his safety net? He shouldn't have let Rei rub off on him. He could have saved Juniper. He could have saved Rei the torment.

He felt himself shudder.

He wouldn't have Nami...

He thought back to Rei's first pregnancy. It had been an ordeal, to say the least. Rei liked to downplay it, but Jin remembered how he'd felt when Irene told him there were "complications." Despite everything working out in their favor, there was a period of time when it was very possible he could lose his son, his wife, or both...

And then they went on to have another! Heck, he'd wanted a third!

Where was his sense of self-preservation? The old Jin would have ceased any wishes for children after the scare with Alex, would never have ventured to even think of more children after nearly losing the two most important people in his life.

...But he didn't like the idea of a life without Nami.

He groaned softly. He knew it wasn't his fault. He knew life was full of risks. He knew that, despite it all, he liked the overall course his life had taken, and that the old Jin wasn't the best person to be when he looked back. He was glad Rei had taught him to love life a bit more, to jump through that extra hoop to achieve the better result, and he knew she wouldn't fault him for allowing her to make what she thought was the better choice.

After all, Juniper's chances had been very good, all things considered.

But even a single percentage was still a percentage.

War raged in his head and he wished it would stop. All choices, good and bad, had their consequences. Losing Rei was a possible consequence when they decided to have Nami, but losing Rei was a consequence of simply waking up in the morning. Every facet of life was a gamble in some form or another. The dice had favored Rei, but Juniper...

The voices were getting closer. He felt his heart leap into his throat. He couldn't tell her...

He heard the footsteps. He forced himself to look up, tears still staining his face. He saw her face first. He saw the panic in her eyes.

"Dear..." she whispered, "What..."

"Cain's in the barn," he said solemnly, cutting her off before her mind could wander. He saw it in her eyes...

He had just confirmed her worst fears...

He saw her breath cut short, her entire body go rigid. He watched her eyes go from a happy-go-lucky woman out for a night with her friends to someone whose world just collapsed before them. He reached up and wrapped his arms around her, gently bringing her down and pulling her head into his chest.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered, his voice cracking as the tears emerged again, "Juniper...she's gone..."

Rei felt her heart stop. Jin was gently petting her hair, holding her tight, but she felt almost none of it. She wanted to move, but her body was frozen. Her breath was caught in her chest. All she saw was a sea of black, and all she heard were Jin's soft apologies and consoling words.

"...She's..."

She started to regain herself. She gently pushed away from him, until she could look into his eyes.

"...No. No, Jin. This is a cruel joke," she whispered.

He didn't dignify her words with a response. He knew she didn't believe them. She stared into his eyes for a few more seconds before finally regaining her movement and sprinting into the barn. Kathy and Renee stared after her, then looked back to Jin.

"Jin..." Renee whispered.

He shook his head and shakily brought himself to his feet.

"Come on," he whispered, "She's...not gonna react very well."

"Jin, wait," Kathy said, grabbing his arm, "You said Juniper's gone, but..."

He gently raised a hand and shook his head. The girls quieted and followed behind him, entering the barn and walking to Juniper's area.

=^x^=

Rei's eyes froze on the mare that was once her best friend. She lay on the barn floor, lifeless, her white main falling over eyes that would never open again. Rei sank to her knees beside her, gently touching her first true friend, and the realization hit her harder than anything in her life so far had managed.

She was gone.

She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She wanted to break down and lose herself, but all she could do was gently pet the old mare.

"Rei, I'm so sorry," Cain whispered, "Jin called me in an absolute panic. I got here as fast as I could. We did everything, but...what happened was something we couldn't stop. She was bleeding internally. It was a worst case scenario..."

He lay a gentle hand upon her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Rei," he repeated.

By now, Jin, Renee, and Kathy had all arrived. Jin gently fell to his knees beside Rei, wrapping his arms around her. Unlike her, he was quietly sobbing. She looked nearly catatonic, as if Cain's words were bouncing off an invisible shield.

"...There is a little good news," he said softly, and Rei finally looked as if she was listening, "Come over here..."

Jin slowly composed himself and gently helped Rei to her feet, and they all followed Cain to a different stall. Within it lay a pure white foal, her little body covered in a wool blanket. Her eyes opened as the group approached, and Jin knowingly stopped and allowed Rei to continue alone. He held the others back, not wanting the newborn to be spooked.

"The little one's perfectly healthy," Cain said as Rei sat with the foal, "I had stores of colostrum, so she got a very good first feeding. I know you have some milk stored, but I wasn't sure if you had the essentials..."

"Some, but not enough," Jin said, "So...thank you for thinking of that."

"The second I heard your voice, I grabbed it," Cain admitted sadly, "It takes a lot to get that kind of reaction from you, so..."

"Thank you, Cain..."

They went silent and looked to Rei. She was gently petting the foal, staring into her eyes. They were every bit as gentle as her mother's, every bit as gorgeous. She looked almost exactly like her mother, except Juniper had small splashes of brown within her white coat, and her mane had been a bit duller. Her baby's mane was like a sheet of fresh snow, and her body looked like a soft powder.

"She's beautiful," Renee murmured, slowly approaching and kneeling down beside the baby, "and she really does look healthy, Rei. So long as she gets a good supply of the colostrum, she'll grow up strong. We'll all be here to see to that. I promise."

Rei slowly nodded. Jin approached next, once again settling down beside Rei. The baby looked to him with recognition, and Jin was forced to smile, if only a little. He edged closer so she could nuzzle his hand.

"Jin did a great job," Cain said softly as Kathy finally approached, "He helped deliver the baby. You should be proud of your husband, Rei. You've taught him a lot."

She managed a slight nod. Jin wrapped his arms around her.

"You should name her," Renee said, managing a small smile, "Did you have anything in mind?"

Rei remained silent, the baby's head moving into her lap. She gently stroked her ears and mane, and those innocent little eyes looked up to her.

"I'm sure whatever name you come up with will fit her like a glove," Kathy said, the normal edge in her voice dulled.

"Agreed," Cain said, "Let us know when you pick one, okay? In the meantime..."

He looked back to Juniper and shook his head.

"...We should give her a proper burial," Jin said, reading Cain's gaze and tightening his grip on his wife. She didn't respond in the slightest.

"I think that would be best," Renee agreed, looking to her grieving friend, "Rei, I know you're reeling, but I think it would be best if we did that now. May we have your consent?"

Rei merely shrugged, her eyes fixated still on the newborn.

"You have mine," Jin said, "come on. I know a good place."

He rose slowly, watching Rei for a few extra moments before taking the others out of the barn. Rei remained still until they were gone, then finally allowed herself to sink her head into the newborn's neck.

"Juni..." she whispered.

The foal lightly nipped at her hair. Rei sniffled and wiped her eyes before looking back at the foal.

"You...really are beautiful," she whispered, "every bit as beautiful as your mom..."

Her voice cracked as she said it.

"Listen...I know I can't do the amazing job Juni was gonna do," Rei whispered, "but...I'll be here, little one. You still have a mommy..."

The baby neighed gently, nuzzling Rei's chest. She felt the tears falling as she wrapped her arms around the foal.

"I already grew up without one," she whispered, "I won't let the same happen to you...okay?"

=^x^=

Rei remained silent through Juniper's burial. As Cain finished filling her grave, the group silently bowed their heads in a moment of silence before Cain placed her gravestone on the plot. He had already engraved it with her name. Kathy and Renee brought flower seeds, and they had planted them all around the mare's grave. Jin had also gone out of his way to visit Anissa and returned with a sapling. It was planted behind the grave.

"Give it time, and this area will bloom into something beautiful," Cain said gently, "If anyone can make it happen, she can."

"Thanks, everyone," Jin said softly, "We both appreciate it. Really."

"You did good yourself, Jin," Renee said, smiling, "That tree will be beautiful."

"Considering it's her namesake," Kathy added, "You did good, man."

Jin blushed slightly, but he couldn't bring himself to enjoy the attention. He looked to Rei, whose eyes were still fixed on her best friend's resting place.

"Rosie..." she whispered.

"Hmm?" he asked.

"The baby," she whispered, "Her name will be Rosie."

"That's beautiful," he whispered, kissing her cheek.

The group remained silent for a few moments, Rei with her head on Jin's shoulder, and Cain finally gestured for the girls to follow him.

"I know we overstayed our welcome tonight," he said, "but just know we'll do all we can to ensure this little one grows up strong and healthy, as she should. I had Renee get supplies for the first days and leave instructions. We've dealt with orphaned foals before, so her instructions are more than trustworthy."

Rei nodded. Cain waved goodbye and took his leave, leaving the couple in silence.

"Rei..." Jin whispered.

"I'm staying in the barn," she said, her voice stern and unwavering.

She walked into the house. Jin followed after, watching her gather an alarm clock, a pillow and blanket, and a few bottles of the colostrum from the freezer. She rushed back to the barn, where Jin followed and found her beside Rosie. She was reading over Renee's instructions and setting her clock for Rosie's next feeding.

"Don't try to talk me out of it," she said firmly, not looking back at him.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Jin said, sitting beside her.

"Then why are you here?"

"To help."

She shook her head.

"Thanks, but I can handle this," she said gruffly, "You should get inside and sleep in a real bed. You have work in the morning."

"Irene can run the clinic," Jin said flatly, "What makes you think I'd leave you when you need me most?"

"I don't need anyone."

"Yes you do."

He draped his arm over her shoulders, but she shrugged him off. He sighed, but remained patient. She was always at her most defensive when she was hurt.

"Whether you want me or not, you're stuck with me," Jin said, "It's a promise I made and intend to keep."

"Do whatever you want. Just don't get in my way."

"Of course not."

He watched in silence as Rei continued reading Renee's instructions. He pretended not to notice she kept glancing at him, that every glance revealed a slight crumble in her hardened exterior. He just leaned back and pulled out a book, reading until he felt something on his lap.

"...I'm sorry," she whispered.

"There we go," he murmured, dropping the book and petting her hair.

"I don't want you to go tomorrow..."

"As I said, I won't leave you when you need me. You know me better than that."

"I know..."

She was curled up in his lap, clutching her blanket to her thin frame. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she began to weep into him.

"I'm so stupid. It's all my fault that this happened. It was so stupid of me to risk Juni's health, even a little bit."

"You know...I thought the same thing."

She looked up at Jin with a small degree of shock.

"I blamed myself," Jin explained, wiping her tears, "I asked myself why I allowed you or myself to take a risk, even a small one, despite facts pointing to everything going smoothly. For a few moments, I hated myself for it..."

He gently tilted her chin up.

"But when you think about it...if we didn't take these risks, we wouldn't have all we do now. We certainly wouldn't be with each other, and even had that happened, we never would have had our beautiful daughter..."

"Jin..."

"Rei, life is risk after risk after risk. You and I both know that. All you can do is try to give yourself the best chances for success, and you did that and more with Juni."

She didn't look convinced.

"Rei, you kept her healthy. You followed Cain's instructions and your own experiences perfectly. You did everything you could have possibly done."

"I didn't call Cain back. I didn't realize how serious her fussing was."

"You did..."

He felt a pang of guilt in his chest.

"I should have shared your concerns," he choked, "I blame myself. I shouldn't have talked you out of calling Cain."

"It's moot, Jin," Rei said, "Even if I had called Cain, he probably would have just told me the same exact thing."

She shook her head.

"I know exactly what happened," she said, "Her artery ruptured. It's one of the bigger risks for older mares. But it's rare for it to happen the way it did. I'm guessing once we gave Juniper some privacy, she started the process, and it happened sometime after I left. Horses with that kind of rupture...die quickly. You probably found her very soon after it happened..."

She looked to him, her eyes misty.

"Even if you had gone in earlier, chances are you wouldn't have realized," she continued, "Horses hide their first stages of labor fairly well, and can even postpone if they're not given privacy. I'm guessing while Cain was examining her, she was holding off, and that's why he didn't realize..."

"So once she had some alone time, she allowed herself to start..."

"Right. And then it caused the rupture, and it slowly..."

She went silent. Jin held her, rocking gently back and forth with her.

"How are the kids?" she asked.

"Both fast asleep. I checked on them both before Juni's burial," he answered, petting his wife's hair.

"What if Nami wakes up..?"

Jin pulled the baby monitor out of his pocket and set it on the floor.

"Covered," he said, "Don't worry. I've got the kids."

"Jin..."

She wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I expected it, so don't be," Jin said, "I already know you're going to take full responsibility for Rosie. I know it's useless to argue that."

"Jin..."

"If you were going to accept Cain's help, you would have told him."

She sank down a bit.

"I personally think you should take his help, but this is your decision to make," Jin continued, "If this is something you want to do alone, I'll respect it."

"It's unfair to you..."

"Rei, they're my children too. Extra responsibility there doesn't bother me in the slightest. God forbid something ever happened to you. Do you think I'd spend my time whining about the extra work?"

"...No. You wouldn't."

"This is your endeavor, Rei. If this is what you need to do to recover, then I'm here to back you up."

Rei nodded, and she felt his grip tighten.

"...I think maybe I'm due to retire," she murmured, "Tomorrow, I'll make Cain an offer."

"Offer?"

"The horses. All of them..."

Now Jin managed to look surprised.

"Rei..."

"I know. It sounds rash. But...I don't think I can do it anymore, Jin."

"I think you should think this over when you're of sounder mind."

"By the time that happens, I'll have neglected them too much. They deserve better than that."

He went silent.

"I'll give Cain a good deal," she said, "He'll take it eventually. He's a businessman first. Renee will do a far better job taking care of them than I can, now."

"If that's what you feel is best...but I stand by my original statements."

"I know. But this is what I need to do."

The alarm clock started playing soft music. Rosie cracked an eye, and Rei grabbed the bottle.

"Are you going to be capable of doing this?" Jin asked, looking over the instructions as Rei fed Rosie, "She's gonna be very high maintenance..."

"Yup. And that's fine."

She shrugged as Rosie nursed.

"I won't complain about it," she said, "This is what I need to do to ensure she survives and remains healthy, so I will do it, no matter how difficult..."

She glanced back.

"...just as you would."

Jin couldn't argue. After Rosie's feeding, the baby returned to sleep, and Rei herself set the alarm clock and finally lay down.

"Come on," she said, pulling him close, "You've been exhausted all day. You need some sleep..."

"And you?"

"I'm...gonna stay awake. I want to monitor her, make sure she's okay..."

"I'll do that."

She shook her head, but he remained adamant.

"I'll be fine," he said, his tone final, "Sleep, Rei. You need it far more."

"But Jin..."

"Nami and Alex don't need me like Rosie needs you, Rei. Sleep..."

She wanted to argue, but time was short, and she was exhausted. Jin held her against him, absentmindedly rubbing her arms and shoulders until he heard her breathing steady, and she was finally asleep. He lay his head on the pillow, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair, his eyes fixated on the sleeping foal.

Exhausted as he was, Rei came first. He did little more than dose for a few moments, and he resisted the urge to turn off the alarm and feed Rosie himself so Rei could sleep. He knew she'd not only freak out upon realizing she overslept, but she'd also be more than just angry at him. So he simply remained, listening to his wife's gentle breathing and, occasionally, one of Nami's hiccups or coughs from the baby monitor. He watched Rosie, who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. He watched Rei, who still looked uneasy, but seemed to be having a good enough rest.

He wished he could fix it. He stroked his wife's hair and wished that, tomorrow, Juniper would be in her usual stall. He wished he could see her galloping in the fields with Rosie by her side. He wished he could see Rei riding atop her prized mare, hair billowing out in the wind, her face alight with that gorgeous smile she only showed off while riding at top speed with her best friend.

Even without her saying it, he knew her mind was set. Rei would never ride again, and he'd never see that smile on her face again.

It hurt, but he thought back to the night's events, to the light disappearing from her eyes when she saw her horse lying dead, and she blamed herself for it. He had been forced to watch his wife's spirit shatter before his very eyes.

He felt the tears welling up again, and he tightened his grip and buried his head into her back, crying silently.

What was he going to do...?

=^x^=

Rei sent Jin back to the house as the sun rose. He was reluctant to leave her, but a gentle reminder that the kids shouldn't wake up alone brought him back to reality, and he kissed her before departing, leaving her alone with Rosie.

After Rosie's feeding, Rei visited the house to shower and change. She felt exhausted, having slept, honestly, very little that night. She had dosed, but she'd kept waking up slightly. She'd felt Jin shaking at points, and knew that he'd been doing his best to hide that fact that he was sobbing. She didn't bring attention to it. He wasn't afraid to appear sensitive, but Jin always got a little weird whenever he realized Rei saw him crying like that.

She couldn't blame him. He was far more worn out than her, and she had treated him poorly for most of the night. She knew he felt just as much to blame as she did, and her heart sunk when she thought of it.

Every bit as horrible as she felt, he felt, and knowing that made her feel even worse.

It was fine if she felt bad. She could overcome it. She could eventually adapt. But knowing that someone she loved so dearly was in pain, and knowing she caused it, just made her feel worse. She felt almost like a parasite, like she was sucking the happiness out of him, like it was her fault he was unhappy. She knew, deep down, that was not the case, but it did little to stop her heart from aching.

She called Cain while Jin was busy with the kids. After a lot of persuasion, Cain reluctantly agreed to take the horses. Rei had actually offered them for free at one point, to which Cain had finally broken. He offered a fair price, not wanting to take advantage of the poor girl, and promised to take them after Rosie was more adjusted, citing that Rei would need to ensure Rosie was among other horses in order to foster proper socialization. Rei agreed to inform Cain when she felt Rosie was well socialized, and the two agreed to a verbal contract.

Rei restocked on supplies and milk for Rosie, and headed back to the barn. She returned a few moments before Rosie's next feeding, and promptly fed her once the alarm sounded. So far, things seemed to be going well enough, and Rosie seemed to trust her more than enough. After the foal finished, Rei set the alarm and returned to sleep until a hand gently prodded her awake.

"Uh...Kat? Renee?"

"Hey, Rei," Kathy said as Rei pushed herself awake, "Doing okay?"

"No. not really?"

She winced slightly as Kathy pat her head. Rosie stirred beside her, and Rei gently pet the foal's neck.

"I feel so guilty," she murmured, "Jin was here all night. He didn't even sleep, I think...and he's still caring for the kids while I confine myself to the barn."

"Rei, it's okay," Kathy said gently, "This is something you need to do. Jin's a doctor. He's built to last."

"I know. I know...but that's not something I like to take for granted."

Rosie neighed softly and nuzzled Rei's cheek.

"It's just so sudden...Juniper was standing in this barn, happy and healthy, less than a day ago. Now she's just...gone. As if she never existed..."

She fought back more tears. She'd cried enough, and she definitely didn't want to be seen spouting waterworks around her friends.

"Not gone," Renee whispered, "She left you a very precious gift."

"Yeah, she did," Kathy said, "Don't forget that. Rosie is gorgeous, just like her mama!"

Rei managed a small grin, but that was all. She knew her friends were trying to be supportive, but they just didn't understand.

She still didn't know if it was right to even think about. Rosie was beautiful. Rosie was her baby. She'd spent the past twelve hours ensuring she grew up perfectly, ensuring the poor foal didn't fall victim to her bad decision. But as much as she loved Rosie, as much as she cherished her, part of her wished for Juniper back.

In the end, she guessed it didn't really matter. She'd only earned a single wish in this world, and for the most part it had come true. Making more was selfish.

"Yes, I know that," she murmured, "That's why only I can care for this little one. It's my fault this happened. I made the decision. Now I need to do my part."

"Your fault?" Kathy asked, her eyes widening in disbelief, "No, Rei, it's not your fault. It was just something very unfortunate."

"Thank you, Kat," she said, shaking her head, "but this is something I don't think I can ever forgive myself for."

Kathy moved to further the argument, but Renee held her back.

"I appreciate the support," she whispered sadly, looking at them with tired eyes, "but, if it's okay, I'd like to be alone for now."

The two girls nodded and stood.

"Call us if you need help," Kathy said, "I know you feel responsible, but we'll all do our part to ensure Rosie grows up healthy and strong. Don't let yourself forget that, alright?"

Rei nodded solemnly, managing to force a weak smile.

"I won't...thank you."

The girls departed, and Rei was left to herself once again. She glanced at the alarm clock and decided she could sleep just a bit longer. She curled up beside Rosie, absentmindedly petting her as thoughts flowed through her head.

She knew, deep down, that Kathy was right. Kathy, Jin, Renee, Cain, all of them were completely right in their words of comfort and sympathy. It had been an accident, and a freak one at that. Blaming herself for this was akin to blaming Jin for her own complicated pregnancy with Alex. It made no sense, and despite knowing this, she still let herself believe that this was her sin to atone for.

She couldn't understand any of it, really. Here she was, perfectly aware that none of this was her fault, and yet she sat here blaming herself, kicking herself, wishing that she had never gone through with it. She was allowing herself to regret the gorgeous little foal she leaned against. She was allowing herself to sully Juniper's memory and Rosie's future.

Earlier today, she had even told Cain she would never ride again. She was selling her horses, her calling in life, for peanuts. Those horses had been her lifeblood for so long. They had made her family comfortable. They had helped her pass along a joy of riding to her first child, and she had been looking forward to instilling it in her second. Every part of this plan was terrible, and she kept telling herself that, desperately trying to talk herself out of it.

But her heart was as stubborn as her mind, and that heart was bent on guilting her for the rest of her life.

She shook her head, unable to fight the tears anymore.

Why was she doing this? She could get over Juniper's death. She knew she just needed some time and patience. She didn't want to sell her horses. She didn't want to give up riding. She wanted to throw Nami onto that saddle the second Jin allowed it, just like she had with Alex. Every hope and dream within her was raging, but they were wooden arrows trying to break through metal plated armor. No matter how hard she fought, she simply couldn't make a single dent.

Once Rosie was socialized, the horses would be purchased by Cain and probably resold for four times what he paid, at least. It made her heart ache, not because of the money, but because the sight of an empty pasture was more than just unsettling.

It was defeat. It was living, breathing proof of a mistake she could not correct, of her inability to move on, and of the loss in its entirety.

What was she doing? She was so much stronger than this. She was Rei. Fiery, passionate Rei. The girl who climbed an entire mountain, just to find a blue feather. The girl who brought said blue feather to the shyest human being she'd ever met and demanded his hand in marriage. The girl who nearly died in childbirth, but pulled through and fought for a taste of having an actual loving family for once in her life.

The girl who was fully suppressed and demeaned for most of her years, who was facing the certain risk of everything falling apart with every moment spent on Castanet.

The alarm went off, and Rosie knew the drill. She took the bottle from Rei without argument, and she buried her head into her arm and sobbed.

What was she going to do?

=^x^=

Rei returned to the house late that night. To her surprise, Alex was still awake, playing absentmindedly with his wooden farm animals. She moved forward, set to give him a slight scolding, when he looked up at her with wide eyes full of anxiety.

"Mama," he said, "Papa's not...doing really good."

Rei's face softened, and she knelt down to face her son. He pushed himself onto his feet and walked up to her, gazing into her eyes with concern.

"...You're not doing really good, either."

"Alex, sweetheart..."

She shook her head. How could she tell him?

"Where's Juni?" he asked, "I haven't seen you riding her. Papa won't answer me. He just told me you've been tending to the horses, but I've only seen you go into the barn. He won't even let me go inside!"

"Alex, shh..."

"Mama, tell me the truth!"

He was getting angrier with every word. Rei clasped his shoulders, fighting to maintain her composure.

"Juni had a beautiful baby girl, Alex, but it's going to be some time before you can see her," Rei explained, "the pregnancy was very tough on her. She..."

She shook her head. She had to tell him the truth.

"She..."

She fought it off, shaking her head again.

"...Juni can't run anymore, can she?" Alex asked softly.

"...No, Alex. She can't."

She raised her head and looked her son in the eye.

"Juni's old, sweetheart. She needs her rest now, okay? It would be best if you were to stay out of the barn."

"...Okay, Mama."

Alex nodded solemnly, and Rei breathed out a guilty sigh.

"I can't ride her anymore, huh?"

"No, sweety..."

"It's okay...if Juni's tired, then she deserves to rest."

He looked her dead in the eye this time.

"...and so does Papa."

He pointed upstairs.

"Papa's sick, Mama," he said firmly, "He needs you to take care of him."

"...Yes. Yes he does."

Rei kissed Alex's forehead and ruffled his hair. He smiled slightly.

"Don't worry, honey," she said softly, "I'll take care of Papa."

"And me. And Nami."

"Yes. All of you. That's why Mama's here..."

She hoisted him up and walked up to his room.

"And my first act of taking care of you today is getting you to bed. It's very late, little man."

"I know..."

He yawned and lay his head on her shoulder.

"...I just didn't wanna go to bed without seeing you."

She kissed his cheek, turned down his bed, and made sure he was snuggled up within it. She tucked him in and gave him another kiss.

"Thank you for waiting for me," she said, smiling, "I promise I won't keep you waiting like that again, okay?"

"Kay, Mama...now go take care of Papa..."

He closed his eyes, and Rei gently pet his hair for a few moments before moving into Nami's room. The baby was fast asleep in her crib, and Rei gently leaned on it and watched her sleep. Thankfully, it seemed, Nami had calmed down compared to last week. She gently tucked the blanket around her daughter, not wanting to risk waking her, then walked into her own room. Jin was fast asleep in bed, lacking even an open book anywhere within reach. Rei sat beside him and gently laid a hand on his forehead.

"Jin..." she murmured, "I'm so sorry."

Sure enough, her son was right. She felt him burning up in her hand, and she gently rubbed his back as he slept.

She was sure nothing could make her feel worse than she had felt earlier, but she hadn't expected this. Her own son had reprimanded her, and had been completely right in doing so, and now her husband lay sick in bed because of her negligence and her inability to deal with her own problems. She couldn't even bring herself to imagine how he'd gotten through the day, or how he'd dealt with the kids. He did all of this while sick and exhausted, but she couldn't even do more than take care of a single orphaned foal...

She slammed her fist against the wall. She was such a weak and useless-

"Rei..?"

She opened her eyes, startled, her fist still driving itself into the wall. Jin was looking up at her, his eyes slightly fearful, but his face too exhausted to show it.

"Jin. I'm so sorry. Go back to sleep..."

"No..."

He waved off her help and pushed himself up, fumbling around for his glasses until she grabbed them off the nightstand and set them on for him.

"How's Rosie?" he asked groggily, "Is everything okay?"

"Why are you worried about me? Look at you!"

"Rei, please, it's nothing I haven't dealt with before."

To her surprise, he actually managed a cocky smile.

"I've worked on less sleep and poorer health than this, believe me," he said, stretching, "Believe me, this is nothing. 'Course, I was a much younger man at the time, but I'm not that frail."

She looked at him in, dare she say it, absolute shock.

"Since when?" she asked softly.

"Since when what?" he replied, cocking a brow.

"...Since when have you been the confident one..."

She grabbed her head in her hands, her fists pulling at her hair.

"What the hell's happened to me? In what world are you the one who's so strong and okay like this? Eight years ago, you would have been the one going crazy over my health, and I'd be laughing off a severed freakin' arm or something."

"Rei..."

"Now I'm sitting here in emotional turmoil over a HORSE, Jin! I can't eat. I can barely sleep. I'm treating that alarm clock like a time bomb and I can't even look at Rosie without melting into tears. What is WRONG with me?"

Jin sank down a little, his eyes falling to the floor.

"...Funny how after all this time, you still think I'm that meek little doctor."

He chuckled softly, but it wasn't a happy chuckle. It was the kind of chuckle that made Rei feel worse than she already did.

"Rei, we all have times in our life when we feel stronger than giants, just like there are times where we feel weaker than ants," Jin explained softly, eyes still cast to the floor, "Say what you want about me, but I'm not weak. I have a family to take care of, and I'm damned proud of it."

She flinched slightly.

"And you need to stop beating yourself up over Juniper," he continued, his voice growing a bit shakier, "You lost the first kindred soul you found on Castanet. Given your background and your history with that horse, I would say you deserve every minute of mourning that you need to take. You know Juni's not just a horse, and I know it too. You deserve to cry. You deserve to hurt."

He finally returned his gaze to her, and she drew back when she saw the fire within it.

"But don't you dare sit here and ask when I 'became the strong one,' Rei, because I'm pretty damn sure I've been strong for you plenty of times, and I plan to continue doing so for a long time. We are both strong in our own rights. This family wouldn't be what it is if we weren't. So I'd highly suggest thinking about that before you ask me that question again...so hopefully, maybe next time, you can answer it yourself."

His gaze fell back to the floor. Rei sat still, stunned, unable to think of a retort.

No. There wasn't one.

"You're right," she said softly, "I apologize..."

"Yeah..."

He clutched his legs to his chest, still downcast. She moved beside him and wrapped an arm around him.

"Really...I am," she said, "I'm just...I don't know."

"You're angry at yourself, Rei."

"Yeah, I am..."

"You need to let yourself realize that you're human and you're going to make mistakes and bad choices. You also need to realize that life itself is the riskiest game you can play. There is no version of living where everything is perfectly ideal. You're going to lose, and you're going to hurt..."

"I know..."

She buried her face into his shoulder.

"I just wish it didn't have to happen to our family..."

He held her tightly, still upset, but unable to let her cry alone. He lay his head atop hers.

"It's going to, Rei...it's a harsh truth to face."

He frowned knowingly and added, "I'm pretty sure you didn't tell Alex, right?"

"...I couldn't."

"You'll have to..."

"I can't tell him when I still can't accept it, Jin..."

He sighed and shook his head.

"I know you think I should be the one to tell him," Rei whispered, "I just...can't yet."

"It's not that I think you're the one who should tell him," Jin said, "I just figured you'd want to be the one to tell him. If you'd rather, I'll explain things in the mor-"

"N-no! No..." She shook her head vigorously, clutching him, "I have to. I taught him everything about horses...except, well..."

"Except that..."

"Yeah..."

She sniffed back tears.

"Your son told me to take care of you."

"Yeah...he worried about me all day."

"Did he?"

"Yup."

She finally let him go and sit back. He was making eye contact again, though she could still see the residual hurt from her words earlier.

"I got Alex off to school and Nami was in a much better mood today," he said, "You've really done a good job teaching Alex how to handle the farm, I've gotta admit. He helped me feed all the animals and get them set before he left for school. We had some rain earlier, so the crops were all taken care of for the morning. Alex kept an eye on Nami while I took care of them for the night."

"Thank you..."

"When I got back in, Alex looked at me like I was a ghost."

As if on cue, he sneezed. Rei giggled softly and passed the tissue box over to him.

"Anyway, he started going all doctor mode on me. I've never exhausted so much effort keeping a child away from a kitchen in my life. He kept telling me to rest, so I talked him into watching some movies."

"What'd you watch?"

"No clue. Think I saw a toaster when Alex shook me awake to make popcorn."

"Oh I love that movie..."

"And then I put Nami to bed and Alex insisted on waiting up for you. We argued for ten minutes until I gave up."

He fell back onto his pillow.

"And here we are."

"I'll have to talk to Alex about minding his father..."

"Nah...kid was upset and needed to talk to you. I wouldn't have given up if I didn't come to realize it..."

He yawned deeply and turned onto his side, his eyes falling shut, his arms embracing the pillow.

"Anyway...lovely chat, hun, but if I don't get some sleep tonight, we may see the first signs of a zombie outbreak, and I'd rather not be the one to start an epidemic. Kind of goes against my code of conduct..."

Rei giggled and ran her fingers through his hair.

"You're kinda funny when you're tired," she said, perking up a little.

"I'm funny all the time, Rei."

"There's just no end to your joking, is there?"

"Ha. Ha..."

She smiled and cuddled up beside him, still running her fingers through his hair as she drew him into a kiss.

"You'll get sick," he murmured.

"Worth it," she said, "Nothing will keep me from kissing my Jin..."

"You'll start an outbreak..."

"It's alright. Not against MY code of conduct."

"And here I was holding you to such high standards..."

She wrapped him up in her arms and held him close. She could hear his breathing slowing down, and she kissed the top of his head.

"Jin..."

"Huh..?"

"Thank you for everything..."

He repositioned a little and buried himself against her, her warmth enveloping him gently.

"You're the strongest person I know," she whispered, kissing the top of his head again, "I'm sorry I forgot that. I really am.."

"You were just upset..."

"No. There's no excuse."

She held him until his breathing evened out and for some time after, milking every moment she had before Rosie's next feeding. She absentmindedly pet his hair, feeling his chest rise and fall against her.

"I love you," she whispered.


	7. Birth of Tradition

**Chapter 7** : Birth of Tradition

=^x^=

"Papa! Papa I want it! Pleeeeease?"

"Nami, dear, please calm down."

"Papa pleeeeease pretty pleeeeease?"

"Oh, Jin, let her."

Old Shelly flashed one of her famous smiles and took the knitted cap off the shelf. She held it before the young redhead, and her emerald eyes grew wide with glee.

"Look, papa! It's a kitty face!" she exclaimed, hopping up and down excitedly, "Papa pleeeeeease can I have it?"

Jin dropped his shoulders with a sigh. She looked up at him so pleadingly, pulling the best puppy dog eyes he'd ever seen. Considering how many of Alex's he'd had to live through, that was definitely saying something. With a roll of the eyes and the slightest hint of a chuckle, Jin gave in.

"Alright, you can have it."

"Yay! Thanks Papa!"

She jumped into his arms, giving him the biggest bear hug she could manage. Jin dug some money out of his pocket and handed it to Shelly, who gleefully waved her hand and said, "On the house, dearie."

"But Shelly..."

"On the house! Come here, you precious little angel."

Nami squealed and raced to the other side of the counter. Shelly knelt down and gently popped the cap onto her head, giggling as the black kitty eyes stared back at her.

"There," she said, beaming, "You now have a kitty on your head."

"Thanks Gramma Shelly!" Nami cheered, wrapping her arms around the elderly woman, "I love you!"

"I love you too, dearie. You have fun with your Papa, you hear?"

"I will!"

She ran back to Jin and hopped into his arms, popping a little kiss on his cheek and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I love you, Papa."

"I love you too, Nami."

Jin bade Shelly farewell and left the tailor shop, supporting Nami with one arm and holding bags on the other. The kids were growing fast, and Rei just hadn't been finding the time to shop for them. She had actually been quite grateful when Jin agreed to take Nami off her hands and run some errands.

"Papa, I'm hungry," Nami announced, looking him dead in the eye, "Can we stop and get some yummies?"

"Hmm, I dunno," Jin replied, scratching his chin, "considering I already got you a hat on top of everything else..."

"But I need food to live, Papa!"

Her face puffed up in a pout, and Jin couldn't help but let himself crack up just a bit at her retort. Damn that child, she was getting sharp fast.

"That's right, you do," he chuckled, bouncing her in his arm and kissing her cheek, "Alright. Let's go get some yummies."

"Can I get pancakes?"

"Your mother made pancakes yesterday."

"But I want them again!"

"Try something different."

"But Papa..."

"If you try something different, I'll get you a treat."

Her eyes widened again, and she nodded vigorously.

"Okay, Papa. I guess I can try something new, just for you."

"Oh. So I don't need to get you a treat?"

"Of course you do!"

She pounded her fist on his shoulder, and he smiled. Sharp, yes, but also just a tad gullible. He walked into the Brass Bar with her and smiled at Kathy, who seated the duo at a table by the window.

"Well hello there, you two," she said, handing him a menu and placing some crayons in front of Nami, along with a kids' menu, "What brings you here today?"

"Papa and I went shopping!" Nami announced happily, beaming, "He bought lots of stuff at Gramma Shelly's."

"No surprise. You and your brother are growing fast," Kathy chuckled, "You want a drink, cute stuff?"

"Why, yes, I'll take some water," Jin replied, smirking.

"She meant ME, Papa! And I want orange juice please!"

"Coming right up, both of you cute stuffs."

She bounced away, and Jin cocked a brow at his daughter.

"See? I'm cute too," he teased.

Nami giggled and opened her menu. Jin watched with a subtle pride as she worked out everything herself, not needing his help to read a single letter. It got a bit less subtle when she started looking over his adult menu a few moments later.

"Wow, Papa, there's so much more on here," she sighed, "I wanna order from the big boy menu."

"Well, do you see something you like?"

She looked up to him in shock, her mouth hanging slightly open.

"You'd let me order from the big boy menu, Papa?"

"If you'll let me order you a smaller portion, then yes."

"...That's fair, Papa. Thanks!"

She scooted over next to him and started reading through the big words and smiling at the things that looked appetizing.

"I want the chicken and shrimp, Papa," she said, "Is that okay?"

"Hmm, I don't see why not. You get a vegetable with it, you know."

"Oh? Hmm..."

She pondered for a moment, then chose some buttered corn. When Kathy came over, Jin ordered fish and steamed vegetables for himself, and a half portion of chicken and shrimp for Nami. Kathy looked at the young girl with surprised interest.

"I didn't know little Nami liked that stuff," she said, grinning.

"I don't know if I do," Nami said, "but Papa wanted me to try something new."

"Well, if you don't like it, let me know and we'll try something else," Kathy reassured, smiling gently, "but Chase is really good at cooking. I think you'll really like it."

"Me too!"

Kathy took their menus, and Nami snuggled up beside Jin. She colored the pictures on her placemat, being careful to stay within the lines. Jin watched her quietly, admiring the concentration she held.

Ever since her fourth birthday, Nami had been blossoming faster than he ever could have hoped. She had shown signs of comprehensive reading earlier, but he hadn't truly realized until she started diving into his own bookcases. She'd retrieved several of his enormous reference books and asked him to read to her.

"Those might be too complicated," he'd said wearily, noting how she could barely lift the enormous tome.

"Papa, you told me nothing is out of my reach," Nami said sternly, "I wanna know the things you know. So please read to me."

He didn't argue. He couldn't. He'd taken up the book without another word, sat on his armchair, took Nami into his lap and started reading from page one.

She had shown an uncanny interest in it. He was ashamed to say he'd expected the worst. He was secretly betting himself twenty dollars that Nami would be tuned out by the end of the first page, but ten pages later she had proven him completely wrong. She was completely engrossed, and actually threw a slight fit when he closed the book.

"Papa! I wanna keep reading!"

"Nami, sweetheart, it'd be best if we only read a little a day. Knowledge is better gained in small doses."

She'd thought for a moment, then nodded in understanding.

"Okay, but then you need to do something else with me."

"Sure. What would you like to do."

She'd jumped to the floor and pulled out coloring books and crayons.

"Color with me."

It had become a sort of routine with them. Jin would read to her, and then they would take some time to relax and color. He had bought himself and Nami both the same coloring book, and the two were competing to see whose came out better, as well as the differences. Nami always commented on how Jin colored things so "correctly" as she put it.

"You know, Papa, you could color the bunny pink if you wanted.

"Could I, now?"

"Yeah, Papa. There can be purple birds, yellow turtles, green skies, whatever you want."

"Not in the real world, Nami."

He had said it lightly, solely to tease her a little, but Nami hadn't taken it as a joke.

"So what, Papa? The real world would be boring if we didn't imagine stuff could be different."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. I mean, Alex watches all those shows with people doing magic and stuff, right?"

"Yes. He does."

"Is magic real?"

"No, it's not."

"I think that's pretty boring. That's why Alex likes the TV. People can imagine cool stuff and show it to us for fun."

She picked up a purple crayon and turned to a page with a bee.

"So I'm gonna color a bee purple, because yellow bees are there all the time, and I wanna see a purple bee!"

Jin hated to brag, but he always felt just a little enlightened when he talked to his daughter. Even though she was still so young, she saw things in the world that he didn't, and she was constantly surprising him. He had to admit she had very admirable ideals regarding this world, even given her short time so far within it.

His reveries faded as Kathy arrived with their plates. Jin could see the young girl's stomach reflected in her eyes as she gazed at the sizzling plate set before her. The smell was so heavenly that she wasted no time in grabbing her fork and stabbing one of the little shrimps in its prongs.

"Ready, Papa?" she asked, "I'm gonna try it."

"Go ahead."

She braced for a moment, then bit the little morsel in half. She chewed for a few moments, her expression rather thoughtful as she tried to find the words to describe it. Her eventual swallow was followed by silence, and she looked up to her father, her expression illegible to the doctor.

"Well?" he asked.

"It's...interesting," she said.

"You like it?"

"...Yes and no."

She thought for a moment, searching for the right words.

"I'm...natural?"

"Neutral, dear."

"Right. I think I'm kind of neutral on it. Maybe if I try a bit more..."

She continued eating the little shrimp, eventually warming up to their taste. Jin cut up her chicken for her as she finished up another shrimp.

"See if you like the chicken," he suggested.

"Okay, except..."

She paused for a moment.

"...Is food chicken the same as animal chicken?"

"That's right."

"So chickens can become food?"

"Yup."

"...I almost feel bad, but it looks too good!"

Jin stifled a laugh.

"Don't ever feel bad for eating animals," he said, "Animals survive by preying on each other. Remember the books?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Humans are just a different type of animal. We need to eat other animals to survive."

"Do any animals eat us?"

"...They very well could."

He smirked, and Nami's eyes widened for a split second.

"I feel like we wouldn't be that tasty," she murmured.

"I hear we taste like chicken," Jin replied with a grin.

"I hear you lie."

"You inherited her snark, I swear..."

His final words were too quiet for her to hear. She stabbed a piece of meat with her fork and took the bite, her expression lighting up as she chewed, and she nodded excitedly to her father before swallowing and exclaiming, "Oh, that's really good!"

"I would hope so. Your mother adores chicken," Jin said, "She doesn't like much other meat, but she'll eat a lot of chicken."

Nami's expression dulled slightly at the mention of her mother. Jin observed her for a few moments before biting.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Papa...why won't Mama let me ride Rosie?"

The girl looked genuinely hurt. Jin exhaled deeply and stole a bite of his own food.

"Your mother thinks you're too young," he explained as he dabbed his face with a napkin, "She wants you to be a little bit older before you start riding."

"But Alex told me he started at four," Nami argued, though she was very calm about it, "I don't get why Mama won't let me."

"Alex learned on a different horse. Rosie is younger, and your mother isn't sure how she'll take to a new rider."

"Yeah. Juniper. But Rosie is Juniper's baby, right?"

"Yes."

"So there shouldn't be a problem, right?"

Jin leaned forward slightly.

"You and your brother are both very different, right?" he asked.

"Yes, but you and me aren't that different, Papa."

He choked down a laugh. That logic of hers could be right on point sometimes.

"While that is true, you've probably noticed that Alex and I are very different."

"Alex is like Mama."

"Alex is like both me and your mother, just like you are like both of us, too."

Nami frowned and ate another bite of chicken.

"I don't think I'm like Mama," she said, trying a bite of shrimp with her chicken and finding it quite delicious, "I don't like farming like Mama does."

"There's more to people than what they like doing, Nami. Your mother is quite witty. You seem to have gotten that from her."

He smiled gently and offered some of his vegetables to Nami. She accepted some green beans and gave him a thumbs up, and he gestured towards her corn.

"I know, Papa, I'll eat it," she said, rolling her eyes playfully, "I wanna save it for last."

"Fair enough."

"And I get it, Papa, but I don't think I really act like Mama at all, either. Mama's super quiet..."

Jin's heart sunk a little.

"She wasn't always," he murmured softly.

"She wasn't?"

Jin hushed himself. He hadn't meant for Nami to hear, but the girl regarded him with a sudden bout of insatiable curiosity.

"What made her so quiet, Papa?" she asked.

"Your mom is just a little tired lately," Jin answered, "it's nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm. Completely sure."

He forced a smile, but Nami didn't look convinced. Regardless, Jin thought better to let the conversation rest, and the two finished eating as Kathy visited their table again.

"How was it?" she asked, smiling at Nami.

"The shrimp was okay, but I really liked the chicken," Nami said, handing a fully finished plate to the waitress, "and the corn was really buttery, just how I like it!"

"Chase always adds a little extra for you," Kathy said with a wink, "Jin, would you and your lovely young lady here like some dessert?"

Nami's head snapped to Jin, stars filling her eyes. He almost burst out laughing, but miraculously held his composure.

"Yeah. Let's get two hot cocoas, extra whipped cream," he said, a sly grin crossing his face.

"You got it," Kathy said, "I'll be right back."

Nami tilted her head, observing Jin's sudden smile with confusion.

"Hot cocoa?" she asked.

"Trust me."

Kathy returned moments later with two steaming cups, each topped with a modest mound of whipped cream. Nami looked from the cup to her father.

"Be careful," he instructed, "It's very hot. Just sip it like tea."

He carefully lifted his mug and held it out to Nami. She smiled and lifted her own, and the two tapped their mugs before taking their respective sips. He heard Nami slurp her cocoa, and she lowered the mug to reveal a big grin caked with whipped cream.

"Papa...that's so good!" she exclaimed, grabbing her napkin and dabbing the whipped cream off before Jin could point it out, "It's so chocolaty!"

"Yup. Yummy, right?"

"Super yummy!"

Jin wasn't surprised when his daughter beat him to emptying her glass, and he ordered two more to go, prompting a shocked cheer and hug from her.

"Papa, you're the best," she said as they left the bar, cups in hand, "I had lots of fun!"

"I'm glad, sweetheart," he said, her hand clasped around his own, "I'm proud of you for trying all of those new things today. And you were very well behaved."

"I try, Papa," she said, grinning cheekily.

"You really do, and I'm proud."

She grinned and cuddled closer to him as they walked, nearly tripping him in the process. Despite it all, though, his mind kept flying back to Rei.

He hated the fact that he couldn't explain things to Nami, but Rei had stubbornly set that stage. It had become a repetitive argument for a few months, and they had made both parents rather bitter.

"Alex should know, Rei," he'd said.

"I can't tell Alex," she had said, the refusal in her voice strong and final, "I don't want to discuss it further."

He had gone so far as to threaten telling the boy himself, but Rei's reaction was a bit more than he'd bargained for. As such, he'd conceded, and Alex was left to believe that Juniper was enjoying the rest of her days privately in the barn. He used to ask to see her, but gave up after his mother constantly refused. Now, with Nami old enough to start questioning everything, she had learned of her mother's prized steed.

Jin shook his head. He wanted both of his kids to know the truth, but Rei's refusal had left both parents feeding lies to their children. Jin hated it and avoided the subject as much as possible. It had been easy when Alex gave up, but now Nami had taken up where he left off, and lying to her was somehow even more painful than lying to his son.

Alex seemed to have an idea that his parents weren't being honest. His mother's sudden change in mood had alerted the young man to more than what she was admitting to, and he probably would have called her out on it if Jin hadn't begrudgingly defended the lie. Once Jin's defense came into play, Alex steadily let it go.

Nami, on the other hand, knew her father well enough to know when he was lying. She caught the small changes and nuances that Alex so frequently missed, but Nami also knew better than to press. She also didn't ever inquire her mother regarding it, mostly because she'd watched Alex's futile efforts and deemed it pointless to even try.

Rei had a strong, unbreakable wall, but her father had weaknesses. She figured he was her best shot at truth.

Unfortunately, he couldn't let her win that battle. Not yet. Not until his wife managed to come around.

And he hated to say he didn't know when that would happen.

=^x^=

Back at the farm, Rei was going about her usual business. The plants were tended. The cows and sheep grazed in the fields. The chickens pecked at their feed and prepared for another round of egg laying to come.

And the lone horse, Rosie, followed Rei around as she did her chores.

Rosie never obliviously grazed like her mother. As Rei moved about the fields, Rosie followed as closely as the fence would allow, neighing affectionately whenever the human she knew as her mother drew closer. Rei would smile gently, often giving her a sugar cube or an apple as she walked by, and Rosie would happily accept it and continue following, grazing for short periods as she moved.

If Rei could read her mind, it would say one thing: I want to run.

She'd been toying with the idea of breaking Rosie, but it always ended with that final image of Juniper stuck in her head. Even on the rare occasions where that somehow failed to stop her, the pasture devoid of horses certainly did. So Rosie remained free of Rei's presence upon the saddle.

No. Alex had done that.

When Alex gave up asking what happened with Juniper, he did the next best thing: he broke Rosie himself. It had scared Rei to high heaven, especially since he did it behind her back for the longest time. By the time she caught him, though, Rosie was racing through the pasture, having the time of her life and taking Alex's commands as if he were a pro (he almost was, really). Rei could only chalk it up to it being in Alex's blood to ride, so when the young boy dismounted and cast his eyes to the ground, bracing for punishment, Rei had simply told him to get back on.

She couldn't punish him for doing the right thing, for doing what she should have been doing.

She thought that, by now, she would have gotten over the entire thing. But no words uttered by any friend, husband, or child could bring her to a better place than she'd managed to reach alone. Their sympathies, sadly, only sounded like excuses to her, and no amount of pity or hand-holding from friends, nor truthful outlooks from Jin, would help, and she had an extra load on her shoulders every time she looked one of her children in the eye.

She had unfortunately failed to remember that her sweet Alex would tell Nami all about Juniper.

Now she watched her daughter constantly pestering Jin, and she could see the walls crumbling. Normally, she'd be pleased that her daughter inherited one of her more useful traits, but it obviously wasn't okay if it was being used against her.

There was nothing she could do, though, aside from admitting her lies to her children and delivering the news that Juniper had passed. Alex would be crushed, and Nami would probably have more questions than Rei was willing to answer.

No. It was better to keep them unknowing, no matter how badly it hurt, no matter how much she longed to follow through with her dream of instilling her talent into her daughter. She knew Nami wanted to learn. That was why, unfortunately, she had to firmly tell Alex his punishment would be swift and unending if she ever found him helping his little sister onto that saddle. No matter how wonderfully talented her boy was, she could not trust him to teach a four year old. She kept hoping she would get to a point where she could throw Nami onto that horse herself and teach her.

But that moment just didn't seem to ever come.

Rei finished her farm work and hoisted herself onto the fence. Rosie immediately galloped to her, nuzzling her so hard that she almost sent the woman over the edge. Rei couldn't help but laugh and hug the horse, and Rosie stayed within her arms, enjoying the attention.

Despite being unable to ride anymore, Rosie was one of the few things in the world still capable of bringing a smile onto the redhead's face. She doted on that horse like she was one of her own children, spoiled her to high heaven, and while she knew it wasn't exactly the best course of action for most horses, she knew Rosie was different. She had inherited her mother's gentleness, never threw a fuss, and Rei was sure Rosie wouldn't turn into a bratty horse. She had shown a wonderful sense of loyalty and discipline, especially when Alex rode her.

She was, however, more shy than Juniper ever was, and Rei couldn't blame anyone but herself for that one. Subconsciously, she wondered if she had done it on purpose.

She sat for a few moments, showering the white beauty with love until she noticed how pink the sky was getting. Jin and Nami would be home soon, she was sure, and Alex was probably inside wondering when dinner would be ready. She gave the horse a final pat and kiss on the snout and hopped off the fence, ringing the barn's bell and calling all of her animals to their safety of the barn. She ensured they were all settled before returning home, caked in dirt and smelling like her cows. She ducked into the bathroom for a quick rinse and hastily dried and dressed so she could cook.

As expected, Alex came bolting out of the room the second he realized Rei was in the kitchen. He beamed expectantly up at her, holding his rumbling tummy and licking his lips.

"Okay. You choose dinner," Rei sighed with a smile.

"I would like pork tonight," he said, grinning ear to ear.

"Pork, eh? Oven fried or roasted?"

"Oven fried of course, Mom."

"Of course."

She hid her sour face as she ventured into the freezer for meat. She didn't like pork at all, but she tolerated it for the rest of the family. Plus, it was tastier fried, so she was a bit more receptive to appeasing her son's meat tastes compared to Jin's. She suppressed a chuckle at the thought of him giving her that look of his and muttering "Roasted, dear."

Rei had to admit that, while he could be a bit of a stick in the mud about it, her family was better off eating more like Jin. While he did like to indulge a little at times, he usually kept his meals very balanced and healthy, and Rei had taken a lot of his advice when he moved in. She had always cooked very little, and very unhealthily, which didn't do much to satisfy the doctor. Not that he had forced her into it, of course, because he was more than capable of cooking his own meals. Rei had just wanted to learn to cook the things her husband loved, and while she always considered herself healthy, she knew it would be best for her and the kids if they kept their diets on the healthier side.

Considering how strong Alex was, and how smart Nami was becoming, Rei could only assume they had made the correct choice. She had to admit that even she had felt stronger because of it, to the point where she didn't need too many breaks between her farming tasks.

In reality, Jin had been very good both for and to her. In small ways, he had changed her for the better. Between him and motherhood, Rei couldn't describe herself as the crazy fireball her friends once knew.

Sometimes, when she thought back to the young new face she used to be around here, she longed to be that person again. She had made fast friends with Luna, Candace, Kathy, and Renee, and the five of them had begun terrorizing the village. Even quiet Candace and rule-abiding Renee had gotten a little freer in her company, and the five of them had walked the roads of Castanet as if they owned them. They had even managed to get Candace drunk once, and that was how the matchmaking between her and Julian had begun...

Rei chuckled softly. Those were the days...

She loved her life, yes, and she wouldn't trade it for the world, but the past version of her almost seemed foreign now, as if it had been a different girl entirely. Sometimes, Rei wondered if half of her memories were even real at this point.

At the end of the day, though, all she could say was that she had grown up a lot. She had gone from the sheltered girl she had been to a woman with calloused hands and a sharp wit, and while she did miss her more boisterous days, she didn't hate the person she had been, or who she was now, at least up until recently.

She wanted so dearly to get past Juniper's death, to move on and start breeding again. She wanted so dearly to ride Rosie, to place her daughter atop the gentle mare and teach her, just as she had taught her son. But the more she longed for it, the further away that day went, until she was left staring at something that would simply never be. The very concept of it made her ball her fists in anger.

She was snapped out of her less than ideal feelings when she heard the door open, and the happy chattering of a father and daughter filled the living room. Rei finished preparing the pork and set it into the oven, and the timer was set before the duo entered the kitchen.

"Did you two have fun?" she asked, knowing the question was kind of unnecessary. The two of them were positively giddy, after all.

"Lots, Mama!" Nami squealed, "Papa let me try shrimp and chicken, and we did lots of shopping, and we visited the bar and saw auntie Kathy, and we saw Gramma Shelly, and-"

Jin chuckled and deposited the small girl into her mother's arms, listening to her chatter continue even after the kitchen door closed behind him. He could hear Alex chiming in moments later, and his smile was from ear to ear when he heard all three laughing.

He stretched out on the couch and opened one of his books, reading as the sounds of his happy family in the kitchen filled his ears like music.

Sometimes, he forgot what such a happy family could sound like...

=^x^=

"Mom, can I go with you to auntie 'Nissa's?"

Alex pulled those same puppy dog eyes he always did. Rei couldn't help but smile as always, and nodded in approval.

"Of course. I could use some help carrying the bag, after all."

"Only if I get to choose what seeds we plant this round."

"Do you remember what's in season?"

"Yup! How could I forget? You taught me."

She smirked at his cleverness. Flattery, with her, would get him everywhere, and he damn well knew it. She handed him her seed bag and said, "Lead the way, then."

While Jin was usually the one to run most chores, seeds were something only Rei and Alex could do. There was a huge selection, and only Rei and her son knew what crops they wanted to plant. Sure, Anissa could easily guide Jin to picking what was in season, but he was unknowing of their rotations, their back stock, and their overall mood for what they actually wanted to plant. There was also the issue of pricing and demand, which Alex kept up with just as faithfully as his mother.

Despite the fact that she let her horses go, Rei was far from expelled from the game. She was still a farmer, and she had honed the craft just as well as she'd honed her breeding. She'd had to, since she wanted Alex to have the most solid foundation she could give.

Back when she and Anissa were on better terms (not to say they weren't now, but the tension had certainly risen), the fair woman had graciously accepted the challenge of teaching a sheltered, clueless girl the basics of farming. Her parents were up to the task, but fledgling Rei had much preferred someone who felt more like a peer than an actual teacher. Rei, after all, wasn't one to tolerate being lectured unless it was by her doting doctor.

And he hadn't been there at the time, sadly.

As she and Alex walked down the familiar dirt road, she remembered first meeting him. It had been pretty funny, actually, though she had feared Jin hated her for it. Thankfully, he'd grown to enjoy the memory now, which was good since the very image of poor Jin's book floating helplessly in the water was enough to make the girl's sides split. At the time, though, he had been fuming, and his temper had also made her laugh, so she felt even worse because a raging doctor was stomping on the pier while the feisty redhead was snickering behind her hand.

Yet he had still found friendship with her, still cared for her, still lectured and blew up when she overdid herself farming or in the mines. Oh, the mines. He had hated whenever she went down there. She always came up dirtier than the last time, and she was always dizzy because of all the gases down there. She'd argue with him ("I inhaled more green gas than purple, I swear!") and he'd argue with her as he checked her vitals and prescribed some vitamins to get her back onto her feet.

Even in his anger, she had felt the underlying love, the caring, and most of all, the connection of their hearts the second they locked eyes.

She had known he was the one, and she suspected he did, as well. Despite their awkward firsts, he had accepted invitations that involved her company, and often ended up talking to (or about) Rei more than he engaged anyone else.

The best part was that Jin had done most of this, she thought, without even really realizing it, and that's what made her laugh the most.

She watched Alex walk ahead of her, swinging the bag as he walked and jumped and spun around down the path. He was twelve now, but still had that childish side to him. Sometimes, it seemed like Nami showed more maturity than him, though Rei knew better. Sometimes, Nami could be just as childish.

The two reached the Flute fields, and Alex sprinted across them towards the Marimba farm. Rei walked leisurely behind him, taking in the scenery and breathing in the fresh autumn air. She entered the store halfway through Alex's order, where Anissa's mother Ruth was looking rather impressed with the young man's knowledge.

"Good selection, m'boy," came Craig's old voice as he sauntered out from the back, "Ruth, give the kid a discount for intelligence. Lord knows we need more of that 'round here."

"Mornin,' Craig," Rei chuckled, waving to the grumpy older man.

"Mornin,'" he grunted indifferently, "Ruth, I'll be in the fields."

Ruth looked up to Rei and smiled.

"How goes it, greenhorn?" she teased.

"Pretty good," Rei laughed, "Can't complain."

"Is Taylor around, Mrs. Ruth?" Alex asked as the older woman placed the last of his ordered seeds on the counter, "He mentioned getting a new game a few days ago and I've been meaning to come check it out."

"Yes, he's home," Ruth said, "You're more than welcome to go visit. I think Anissa's with him."

"Great! You got the rest of this, mom?"

Rei nodded and sent him off to his best friend's room. She reached into her purse to grab her wallet.

"You're teaching him well," Ruth commented, looking after the pre-teen, "Taylor's thinking of embarking on another journey soon in search of different produce for Castanet. I'm sure he wants to extend an invitation to Alex, you know."

"Yeah? It might be good for him, actually," Rei said, "If the opportunity comes, I'll let Alex decide ."

"What about Jin?"

"Jin'll be all for it, I know."

Ruth totaled Rei's purchases, remaining faithful to Craig's five dollar discount, and she lay the proper amount upon the counter.

"How is Jin, anyway? He doesn't come by as much," Ruth said.

"He's well. He's been busy lately. Most of his time is either work or Nami."

"Still stuck to him like glue, eh?"

"More than ever. She likes reading with him."

"Apple don't fall far, huh?"

Ruth loaded Rei's seed bag for her and latched it closed. Rei nodded in thanks and slung it over her shoulder.

"Thanks for everything," she said, "I'm gonna go see what the kids are up to."

She walked into Taylor's room and saw him and Alex playing some racing game. Anissa was seated on her knees behind them, watching the two twisting and turning and making more of an effort to sabotage each other than to actually win. She glanced over at Rei when she heard the mother giggling at their shenanigans.

"Things might work out better if you two cooperate," she pointed out.

"Teamwork's for sissies," Taylor scoffed.

"I'm not letting this loser get anywhere near first," Alex announced boldly, nudging his friend and laughing.

Rei and Anissa chatted for a bit while the boys played. Once they'd had their fill, mother and son bade farewell and started down the familiar, well-worn path home.

"Taylor's too good at video games," Alex sighed, "I wish dad would let us have a system."

"I'm sure I could talk him into it when you two get a bit older," Rei said, "He just wants to ensure you kids are getting a lot of exercise and air."

"Sometimes, I hate the fact that you married a doctor."

He said it so lightheartedly that Rei couldn't even scowl, nor could she pin him for being wrong. Sometimes, it was kind of stressful.

Suddenly, she felt a chill, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes gazed around every inch of her surroundings, scanning for anything out of the ordinary. Alex looked back a few seconds later, stopped, and looked quizzically at his mother.

"Mom? What's wrong?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"...Nothing," Rei answered uncertainly, readjusting the bag and walking to his side, "Hey, ain't you supposed to be carrying this?"

"Dang."

He sheepishly laughed as she handed him the bag. He slung it over his own shoulder and continued walking, and Rei remained behind him, her eyes still scanning everything. Something felt ominous right now, as if some foreign presence had entered Castanet, and she was scared to find out what it was.

She held that feeling until long after she and Alex returned home. Even as Jin ushered the kids off to their rooms for their bedtime routine, she still felt in festering within her. She walked outside for some air and checked her mailbox, forgetting if she had earlier, and found a single note within its confines. It was blank and unmarked. She unfolded it, and her eyes scanned its contents.

Her breath caught in her chest, her heart ceased to beat, and she fell to the earth on her knees, the tears forming into her eyes and cascading down her cheeks, staining the ink on the note.

All around her, all at once, her world was cracking like glass.

It was only a matter of time before it all shattered.


	8. The Promise

**Chapter 8** : The Promise

=^x^=

She remained on the ground, clutching her chest. She felt as if her heart was going to break at its seams. Everything was speeding by, as if she were in the world's fastest car and staring out the window. Every thought raced through her mind. Jin, the kids, Juniper, Rosie, everything rushed to fill her mind all at once, and she threw her head into her hands and forced herself not to scream. Every part of her body suddenly ached, as if she'd survived a head-on collision with a truck.

She kept telling herself it was a bad dream. She pulled on her hair, pinched herself, even nearly bit her own tongue off in a futile effort to awaken. All of the control she thought she had was slowly slipping out of her hands, dropping to the very ground that was sullying her knees. She shook her head. She felt the tears welling up, but she couldn't cry. She was already too far beyond tears.

This was legitimate fear.

She slowly pushed herself onto her feet and looked to the door. She couldn't delay breaking the news. She only had a little time left, and she wanted to spend it with him...

She pushed the door open and saw him sitting on the couch, reading a book.

"Jin..." she whispered.

The letter was still clutched in her hands. He turned to look at her, at first happy, then suddenly concerned when he saw the fear in her eyes. He looked from her to the letter, attempting to put the story together.

"What's up, Rei?" he asked, studying her closely.

"Come with me," she whispered.

He dropped the book and sprang off of the couch. She took his hand and led him to a place of significance. Upon seeing it, he frowned, but followed in silence. He felt his own heart beating faster, and his brain began to process hundreds of different scenarios, though he tried to make them cease. But the anticipation was killing him, and the look on her face was not one he'd ever truly seen before. In all of the days he'd known Rei, he'd never seen that look of pure terror cross her eyes. It would take something very serious to drive that kind of reaction out of her, and he had to admit he really didn't want to know of any such thing that could generate that kind of result.

They reached the beach, and the two sat side by side facing the ocean. Things were quiet for a few moments. Rei looked like she was struggling to breathe, her knees held to her chest. Jin gently took her into his arms, resting his head in her hair, feeling her entire body within his arms. She was shivering, and he hated to say that he didn't think it was because she was cold. After moments of silence, Jin couldn't take it anymore, and he tightened his grip.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, kissing the top of her head, "Talk to me..."

"We...we are in a lot of trouble, Jin..." she whispered, breathing in sharply, struggling to not break down.

"Trouble?"

"He...found me..."

She was quivering, and Jin had to take a moment to process. She held out the letter, unable to look him in the eyes. He unfolded it and read, and his heart ceased to beat in the process.

You and the kid at the pier by two.

I am waiting.

Jin felt the crushing realization fall. He and Rei had never forgotten this threat loomed, but the two had managed to push it to the back of their minds and become comfortable. After all, neither of them expected the search to continue on for this long, thinking it long past due for her pursuer to throw in the towel. Yet here, in black and white, was the very thing threatening to undo their entire lives, and it was all Jin could to do whisper, "Rei..."

"I'm so sorry..." she whispered.

The tears finally fell. Rei buried her eyes into her hands, her body shaking more violently as she tried to hold the tears back. He dropped the letter and returned his embrace to her, holding her tighter than ever, and she finally allowed herself to cry fully. She gripped her husband's hand, unable to imagine a life where she could no longer hold it.

Throughout most of her life on Castanet, Jin had been a constant. He had always been there to talk to, to hold, to comfort her when things got bad. Even before they became an item, back when he acted as if she annoyed him more than she actually did, Jin had always made it a point to hear her out when she'd needed him most. The thought of losing that, the thought of his hand never touching hers again, the very idea of his eyes no longer gazing into her own was absolutely heart wrenching. It was unfathomable.

"He wants me...and them..." she whispered, her voice cracking, "He must have seen me when I was with Alex..."

She cursed herself in silence for it. If she'd simply gone alone, she would be the only one in danger here.

"I'm losing my kids..." Jin whispered.

He buried his head into her back, and she felt her heart drop.

It would have been one thing if she had been the only one spotted. She'd be gone right now on a boat back to the city, remaining quiet, watching Castanet disappear behind her. She would have been devastated, yes, but she knew her kids would be safest with their father. She would have refused to breathe a word, would have kept absolute silence to ensure her family was safe, and all of this could have happened if she had done the intelligent thing and told Alex to remain indoors where he was safe.

She was so stupid. The thought crossed her mind multiple times, over and over, until she forced it out and tried to think of what they could do. Any alternative, any course of action that would result in keeping their family together.

"We could run..." she whispered.

"No...where else could we go?" Jin said, crushed at having to disagree, "Besides, if the guy who found you is waiting at the pier..."

"Our only way out..."

"And running will just make things worse...for you..."

"You're right..."

She breathed unsteadily, struggling to quell tears that would not cease to fall. Jin tried to think of anything else they could do, but the options were nonexistent. Castanet was small, and there was nowhere to hide. Even something as extreme as hiding in the forest would be futile. Where that man came from, there were more, and it would only take a little unnecessary difficulty to get quiet little Castanet swarmed. And then if they were all found...

Jin shuddered, not only at the thought of what would happen to him, but the outcome for Rei, his children...

The risk was not worth it. Either way, they lost, and their children would suffer most. He could only hold his wife, taking in the last moments they had.

"Jin..."

"Rei..."

She turned, grabbed his coat, and pulled him into a passionate kiss. The two remained locked together for minutes, their arms locked tightly around each other, and parted only when both of their cheeks were stained with tears.

"Will you be okay?" she asked, her voice barely more than breath.

"I have to be," he answered, "We have to protect our kids."

"Yes..."

She shook her head.

"There's no other way, is there?"

"No...if we tempt fate, we could endanger them, Rei..."

"Then I have to go..."

She slowly dragged herself up to her feet, and he stood beside her. His hand was locked into hers.

"They're going to hate me," she whispered.

"They'll understand," he replied, his voice as gentle as he could manage.

"Nami won't go..."

"She has to..."

"He only saw Alex..."

"No. We can't separate them."

Jin felt himself growing more and more adamant, even despite the fact that Rei was right. Nami would pitch a fit, and rightfully so. Alex would ask questions later, and he would suffer, but Nami would be far worse off. The greater part of him actually found itself agreeing with Rei, and he almost wanted to crumble and agree, but he couldn't bring himself to separate a brother and sister. Moreover, he couldn't bring himself to separate them from Rei. He couldn't live with himself knowing that he took a mother away from her daughter, and he didn't even know for how long.

Nami wouldn't understand for a long time, but he knew well that as she got older, she would need her mother's guidance far more than his. His daughter was already very bright and talented, and Rei would nurture that, he was sure. But she needed her mother far more than she needed him, and he could only hope that, someday, she would come realize that.

He also knew Rei needed her kids. It had taken all of his power to get her to where she was now. It had taken so much to build trust, to take care of her, to give her everything she deserved. He could only hope the kids would help maintain that and keep her sane.

If one had to go, both had to go. That was just how it had to be. Rei understood, but couldn't hide the pain in her eyes as she pictured Nami's reaction, knowing the reality would be much worse.

"They're never going to forgive me..." she murmured.

"They will. I will ensure it," he said, gripping her shoulders, and those large emerald eyes of hers rose to meet his. He saw his daughter in those eyes, saw the eyes that had first made his heart soar higher than he could have ever imagined, and tried not to crumble as the thought of never seeing them again sunk deep into his gut.

"I'm scared..."

"I know..."

He pulled her into a tight embrace and felt her soft hair brushing against his cheek. His mind raced, attempting to find any alternative, hatch any plan, discover any solution that could result in his family remaining together.

But nothing came.

All he could do now was hold his wife as she cried and struggle to keep his own composure, despite knowing he was every bit as helpless as she was. He couldn't allow himself to break. Not yet. He forced himself to hold the weight of everything above him, even if just for a little longer.

For her...

"Rei," he whispered, and she looked up to him, wiping her tears away, "Send me letters..."

"It'll be dangerous..."

"Find a way. I know you. You're resourceful and strong, Rei, but I'm not. I need you to just do this one thing, just to keep me going. I can't hold it together if I don't have contact."

"But what if I put you in danger?"

"It's worth it."

And it was. He brushed her hair out of her eyes and caressed her cheek, and she gently held his hand in hers as her lips quivered, and more tears made their way down her cheeks. He knew how scared she was, but he wouldn't be able to cope without knowing they were okay. Dangerous as it was, he would be a far bigger danger to himself without word from his wife, however rare it would need to be.

"I will find a way," she stated, managing to sound firm despite her tears.

"You need to tell me everything," he said, "I don't care how trivial. Tell me about every test. Every good and bad grade. Every sport. Every book. I need to know everything that happens."

"I will."

"Even the hurtful things. Even if you think it will hurt me, I don't care. Tell me."

"I will."

"Do you promise me this, Rei?"

"Yes. I promise."

She held his head in her hands and drew him into another kiss.

"I have never broken a vow to you," she whispered, her fingers running gently through his hair, "I don't intend to begin now."

"Thank you..."

"I need a promise from you, as well."

"Anything."

She slowly pulled back and gazed into his eyes.

"Don't be with another woman..." she murmured.

"I would never dream of it."

"You'll wait for us?"

"Always..."

He kissed her again, clutching her to him, and silently wished he'd never have to let her go. He felt her own grip tightening around him, and knew her wishes were the same.

"You, Alex, and Nami...you three are the only family I want. I'll take those words to the grave."

The faint smile graced her face for a moment, but then another thought shot into her mind.

"Rosie..." she whispered.

"I'll take care of Rosie."

"If you can't, go to Renee."

"I will."

The two sunk onto the beach, embracing each other, watching the waves roll in. Jin watched the clouds lazily float along in the sky, obscuring the moon.

"We'll get through this, and so will our kids," he whispered.

"They can't know. Not until they're older."

"I agree. It's the safest bet."

"Ren will definitely have ears everywhere."

Jin tensed at hearing his name, and Rei's own lips felt dirty from uttering it.

"It's okay..." he murmured.

"Should I let them write?"

"I don't know..."

He truly did not. He was unsure as to how Rei would explain and handle the entire situation. Knowing how much danger their father was in would not be good for the kids, and allowing them to write might prove to be more painful than good. He also didn't know how often they'd be able to write, and leaving the kids to constantly wonder would serve them no benefit. But he also couldn't imagine saying no.

"It might be too painful," she murmured, mirroring his thoughts, her gaze on the sand, "I don't want them living on false hope."

"False hope?" His heart cracked a bit at the sentiment. "Rei..."

"Jin, there is a chance. We don't know how long this will be."

"Is it wise to cut them off?"

"It may be."

She looked to him with uncertainty, and he returned the same. Neither of them knew the right decision here, but he knew where she was leaning.

"I'm going to need to keep them quiet to begin with," she sighed, "as much as it hurts to say it..."

"...It would be best if I were completely absent, right?"

He only said it so she wouldn't have to, and was almost glad he did. She was crushed enough. He took the inevitable as well as he could, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"I...think so," she solemnly agreed, "I think giving them an inch will leave them longing for the mile."

"I don't know. I really don't. Either way, they're going to be hurt."

He sighed heavily and leaned his head against hers before whispering, "Do what you feel is best, Rei."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I leave this one to you."

"Thank you..."

"Just take care of them, Rei, as well as you can..."

It hurt. It hurt more than he could have predicted. But he trusted Rei to make the right decision, and he trusted her judgment if she deemed it unsafe. All he could do was relinquish his reigns and let her take the lead now.

The two sat for a little while longer, and then Jin felt himself being pushed onto the sand. Rei lay on top of him, bringing her lips to his and gazing into his eyes.

"Rei..."

He didn't argue as she undid his coat. They both knew now was not the time, but it was the only time, and he reached up and undid hers in turn.

"Let me have you," she whispered, bringing her lips to his neck, "Just this one last time..."

"Don't say last..." he murmured, his breath cutting short as her lips connected, "There will be many more times, Rei. Let's try to believe that..."

"I will..."

Within moments, the two were naked, and Jin was holding Rei as close as he could. She buried herself into him, her lips grazing his neck and making their way to his ear.

"Jin..."

"Rei..."

She gently nibbled at his ear and breathed gently into it, "Take me."

=^x^=

He lay beside her on the beach, holding her close, taking in every bit of her as their time drew to a close. She looked at him with a pained expression, and he didn't need her to say anything. He stood, holding out his hand, and she took it and allowed him to help her to her feet. They stared wordlessly into each other's eyes before walking, hand in hand, back to their home.

They changed and washed in silence, all while their children slept soundly in their room, oblivious to the world. Rei emerged from her room, her bags packed, and looked to Jin with solemn eyes.

"I'll do it," she whispered, "Stay out here, okay..?

Jin nodded and stayed in the living room. Rei took a deep breath and walked upstairs into the kids' room and slowly opened the door. As she expected, both were asleep. She remained silent, bringing two bags in with her, and quickly packed essentials for the kids. She couldn't bring much, so she could only bring their clothes and more treasured toys. She sadly glanced at Alex's wooden animals and shook her head. They would have to stay behind.

To her surprise, Alex was the first to awaken. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times, watching her pack, and murmured a confused "Mama?" before she turned to look at him. He saw the look on her face and froze in his bed, and fists gripping the covers. "Mama, what's wrong?"

"We..."

She choked up, but shook her head and forced the words out, no matter how badly they tore her apart.

"Sweetheart, we need to leave," she explained hurriedly, "I'm sorry. We can't bring much with us..."

Alex automatically glanced to his wooden animals, but choked down tears and nodded. Alex could be wild and childish, but he knew when his mother was serious. She beckoned him over and handed him a change of clothes.

"Dress up, fast," she whispered, "and do not wake your sister."

"Um...mom."

He nervously pointed to Nami's bed. Rei cursed under her breath as the little one hopped out of bed and approached, eyes wide and fearful.

"M-mama," she whispered.

"Nami, dear, listen..."

"W-where are we...?"

"Nami, dear, I have no time to explain."

She dug a change of clothes out for Nami as well and handed them to her.

"Now, dear. Get changed."

"Mama..."

"Sweety, listen to me. Get changed."

She recoiled at her mother's gruffness, but obeyed. She moved to the corner to change as Alex lifted his shirt up over his ears. Rei continued packing as the two changed, and Nami ran back over the second she completed the task.

"Mama, where are we going?" she asked.

"You, mama, and Alex need to take a trip to the city," Rei explained quickly, stuffing more things into the bags, "Now pipe down."

Nami considered her words for a moment, then counted the names she'd said on her hand, then looked back to her mother in horror.

"...And Papa, right?" she asked.

Rei cursed again, and this time Alex caught it and stiffened up. Nami's eyes grew wider and filled with tears.

"...And PAPA, right?" she stressed, her voice growing alarmingly louder.

"Nami, dear, shush," Rei pleaded, zipping up Nami's bag and working on Alex's.

"Mama!" Nami shouted, flying into a rage.

"Nam, calm down," Alex said hurriedly, rushing to his sister's side and taking her hand, "Papa's coming with us, right mom?"

The bag zipped, but the words didn't come out. Alex's grip on his sister's hand tightened, and he watched his mother intently, looking for any sign of an answer. When she turned around with tears rolling down her cheeks, he stepped back, and Nami fell to her knees.

"...Papa needs to stay here," Rei said in barely more than a whisper, "just for a little while..."

Alex knew immediately she was lying, but remained quiet. Nami was nearing a meltdown, and judging by Rei's behavior, now was a horrid time for it.

"W-why?" Nami cried, "Why can't we take Papa?"

"Papa needs to...watch Rosie," Rei answered, hoping the unsure pause went unnoticed by the little one.

"Auntie Renee can do that!" Nami said loudly, and Rei cursed her daughter's logic, "S-so we can take Papa, right?"

"Nami, Rosie won't trust Renee," Alex covered, turning his little sister to face him, "You want Rosie to be comfortable, right?"

"If we're going away, Papa should come!" Nami demanded.

"Sweetheart," Rei interjected, turning the child to face her, "You need to listen to me. Your father can't come with us. Not right now. I really need you to be quiet and do as I say, okay?"

"No! Papa comes or I scream!"

"Don't you dare."

"I'll do it!"

Alex opened his mouth, but Rei threw out her hand, shushing him. He backed away in silence.

"Nami, you need to pay absolute attention to everything I tell you," Rei explained in her lowest, most serious tone, "I know you're mad and sad, but you need to give me your absolute trust here. Okay?"

Nami was silent for a moment, and then the storm welling up inside of her unleashed itself in a fury. Down in the living room, Jin could hear it, and he buried his head into his hands. He couldn't bear to hear it.

"Papa!"

Nami burst out of her room, tears streaming out of her eyes, and jumped directly into her father's lap. Rei and Alex were following, each carrying packed bags. Nami gripped his coat, staring up at him with tear-filled eyes, and he felt himself breaking down in her grasp.

"Papa...tell Mama you're coming with us," she begged between cries and hiccups, "Tell Mama we can't go anywhere without you. Please tell her..."

Jin felt that all-too-familiar lump in his throat as he gazed down at his daughter, watching her eyes fill with a pain he'd never wished for her to experience. He could only hold her, and he struggled to hold himself together as he forced the words out: "You need to go, Nami..."

Nami's eyes widened in shock and pain. Her father, the one being in this world who was always on her side, now suddenly urged her to leave his. She drew back, speechless, unable to process what he'd just said.

"No...Papa..." she struggled to even comprehend, but Jin gripped her shoulders and held her steady, so their eyes were locked.

"Nami. You need to be quiet. You need to listen to your mother. You absolutely need to promise me that you will do this."

He could feel her heart breaking in his hands. For every bit of trust and respect Alex showed his mother, Nami doubled it in regards to her father. She wanted to cry, to scream, to throw herself on the ground and kick and wail until she got her way. But she respected her father more than all else, and if he demanded she leave, then she had to accept it. She wiped her eyes and nose and slowly crawled off of his lap, stunned into silence, and walked to her mother's side. Jin stood and knelt down beside her, hugging her tight and kissing her cheek.

"I am going to miss you, Nami..." he whispered, his voice fragile, threatening to shatter, "I love you..."

"...I love you too, Papa..." she whispered, her voice so soft that he could barely hear it.

"You need to trust us," he whispered, locking their gazes again, "There are things happening now that we can't explain to you, but this is what needs to happen right now."

She was silent, and her eyes fell to the floor. He pulled her back into him, petting her hair and whispering "It's only for a little while. Just a little while..."

"Okay Papa..."

He felt that ache in his chest. For all he knew, he had lied to his daughter again. She sniffled as he slowly released her, and then succumbed into full-blown crying. Rei slowly stooped down and took the crying girl into her arms, and Jin turned to Alex. The boy had been completely silent the entire time, but Jin could see how scared and upset he was just by looking into his eyes. He pulled his son into an embrace and tousled his hair, and Alex felt himself nearly falling into a sea of tears himself.

"Alex," he whispered, "You're being so strong."

"Dad..."

"I am going to miss you so much...far more than words can express now."

"I'll miss you, too..."

"Im sorry...I wish I could explain this all to you, but now is not the time. But listen...you need to trust us. And..."

He finally choked up, unable to get the words out. Alex's grip tightened, and his buried his face into his father's shoulder.

"I know dad," he whispered, "I'll protect Nami...I promise..."

Jin felt the tears stinging his eyes and held his son ever tighter. Alex patted his back, hearing his breath grow more and more shallow, and didn't let on to knowing. Alex knew just from looking at his father that it was only a matter of time before he broke, and he allowed him to do so without question.

"You know me too well..." Jin murmured, a small laugh escaping as he said it.

"You've never been that hard to get, dad," Alex said, but he managed a slight laugh too.

"I'm glad...I was always worried I didn't give you enough..."

"Nam needed you more, dad. It's okay. You've never not been there, you've always backed me up..."

Alex looked his dad in the eye and forced a tearful smile.

"You're the best dad I could ask for," he said, "and...I really hope it's only for a little while."

Jin forced a smile of his own, but the eyes confirmed the lie, and Alex nodded in acceptance and hugged his father again. He silently promised to not unleash that little detail to Nami, who was slowly regaining her composure in her mother's arms.

"Kids," she said, "We really need to go now."

"Okay, mom," Alex said, picking up his own bag, "Bye dad..."

"Bye, Alex," Jin murmured, "Nami..."

"Bye Papa..." she whispered, and Jin stood and held both her and Rei in his arms one last time. Nami saw the tear inch down his cheek and kissed him where it fell.

"I'll miss you..." he whispered.

Rei gave her husband a final kiss and walked out the door, bags slung over her shoulder, crying daughter in hand, and scared but courageous son at her side. Jin watched Nami's eyes remain fixated on him until she disappeared into the distance, and Jin fell to his knees once he was sure they were out of sight.

He wished desperately for something to help him, for some way to reverse all of this. He pleaded to the Harvest Goddess, to anyone, and watched the door with hopes for some miracle to bring Rei and his children back through that door.

But the minutes passed, each one bringing him to a state of more severe hopelessness, until he collapsed in defeat and found himself sobbing uncontrollably on the floor.

They weren't coming back...

=^x^=

"Here, take this," Rei whispered, "Hold out your hand."

Nami hesitated for a brief moment, then held out her hand as her mother instructed. She slipped a small ring onto her finger. Nami observed it with interest, admiring the tiny bit of blue encased within the ring, though she wasn't quite sure what it was.

"Nami, you need to promise me something," Rei whispered hurriedly, stooping down so she was eye-level with her, "No matter what, do not draw attention to that ring. It's a small ring you won from a game, or something you got from a friend. Do not ever tell anybody outside of Castanet what that ring is, or what it came from. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Mama," Nami murmured obediently.

Alex shifted uncomfortably. He could sense the underlying hostility in his sister's voice, and he wondered if she was close to having another meltdown. Defiance laced her eyes, and her lips were curled into an angry pout. But she remained calm, and within moments the trio was back on the path to the pier, and he allowed himself to breathe. The fact that even Nami could remain calm was a true testament to her respect for Jin, if nothing else.

When they reached the pier, Rei checked her watch, then stooped down again and brought both children close.

"Listen," she whispered, "Let me do the talking and say nothing. Absolutely nothing. Understood?"

"Yes, Mama," both children agreed.

The three waited for what felt like eternity. The kids watched curiously as their mother continuously checked her watch and looked around. They watched her eyes flash from hopeful to terrified within milliseconds, unaware of the fact that 2AM had passed, and Rei was bouncing from wondering if this had simply been a scare or a diversion. She silently prayed Jin was alive and intact back at home, still flying under the radar. If all the man had caught was a glimpse while she was gone, then he'd have no way of knowing a husband existed. For all he knew, her children were born out of wedlock.

And she had no wedding ring. At least not one he knew the meaning to.

She glanced at the ring on Nami's finger. Only Castanet natives knew what it was, and what it meant. To an outsider, it would look like something out of a prize capsule, at least until he observed it closely and realized it was made with real gems and ores, and even some crystal. Even then, she could easily say it was a birthday gift, and even Ren wouldn't be so terrible as to order a young girl's little ring taken away.

At least she hoped he wouldn't be...

On her, that ring was suspicious and invited speculation. On a girl as young as Nami, it meant nothing.

"I have to commend you on hiding for so long..."

Rei felt each child clutching a leg. As if from nowhere, a tall man emerged and looked the trio over, cocking a brow and laughing under his breath.

"Two, eh?" he said, eyeing both kids, "Are you sure there's nobody else we've gotta worry about here?"

Rei's face was stone, and she shook her head and said, very simply, "Their father is no longer in the picture."

It took every ounce of Nami's self control to not react. Alex kept his eyes on the ground.

"Hate to admit I expected more out of ya," the man sighed, "Alright, all of ya, in the boat."

Rei wordlessly led the kids onto the boat. Neither chanced glancing back, and they sat in silence at their mother's side as the boat was started. Nami buried herself into her mother's chest and cried silently, and Alex turned his head and stared out the window, watching Castanet disappear behind them.

He already missed his father more words could express. He looked back to his sister and knew there was only one thing he could do.

He would protect her, no matter what.

And he would get her back to see Jin, no matter how long it took, no matter how it had to be done. He would make sure, with every ounce of his power, that this separation didn't last forever.

It was a promise.


	9. Aftermath

**Chapter 9** : Aftermath

=^x^=

Jin walked to work the next morning with a ten pound weight in his heart, and another one hundred on his shoulders. He knew he should take the day off. He'd considered it extensively, almost picked up the phone a number of times, but he didn't want to just sit at home and waste away. He convinced himself that getting out of the house would be a good idea, but he was quickly regretting that, and every step closer to the clinic became heavier and slower, until he was sure his feet had become cement blocks once he reached the door.

He took a deep breath before walking inside. He had to try and look normal, mostly because Irene would leap up the second she saw him if he walked in there looking as bad as he felt. He forced a smile and walked inside, and the hooked nose rose once the door opened.

"Good morning, Jin," Irene said sweetly, a book opened in her hands, "How are you?"

"Fine," Jin answered nonchalantly, immediately moving into his office without so much as a glance.

Irene blinked in confusion, staring after him for a few seconds before dropping her book onto the counter and standing. She ventured into his office, where he was gearing up quietly, his back to her.

"...Jin, dear, something's wrong," she said gently, "You always get this way when you're upset."

"Get what way?" Jin asked.

"You get a little...fleeting, dear. You avoid eye contact, or any contact in general."

"I'm not."

He made a second of eye contact, forced a smile, and returned to his supplies on the table.

"See? Totally fine, Irene."

"Jin, dear..."

She went to move closer, but Jin stiffened up and held his hand up to her.

"Please, Irene. Not now..." he said helplessly, the table his only savior from falling to the ground.

"Jin..."

He couldn't believe it. Two minutes in the clinic and he was already about to break down. Irene moved closer, her hands gently clasping his shoulders, and he slumped down onto the table, crying into his arms.

"She's gone, Irene..." he whispered.

It took a few minutes, but Irene managed to lead Jin onto the couch and sit him down. She immediately put the kettle on and had a cup of tea in his hands faster than he could recover enough to speak. He forced a little tea down and took a few deep breaths, struggling to compose himself, all while Irene quietly sat beside him, her hand on his back, her eyes sad and understanding.

"Rei had to leave last night," Jin choked, the teacup trembling in his hands, "and she t-took-" he broke down for a few seconds and shook his head - "she took the kids..."

"What? Where did she take them, Jin?"

"H-home...her home..."

Irene looked away for a moment, eyes alight with fear. She didn't know the full story, as Jin had never even told her the slightest detail, but she had kind of figured poor Rei out the second she met her. She had struck her as a broken girl, someone who never belonged anywhere, and Irene had gathered that, wherever the poor child's parents were, they probably didn't miss her. The thought of her taking the children to a place she obviously dreaded...

"...Did she want to go?" Irene asked.

"I..." Jin struggled. No matter what, he had sworn his secrecy to Rei.

"Jin, I know Rei doesn't want you saying anything...but you need to at least tell me. Did she want to go?"

Jin wiped a tear away and shook his head, and Irene nodded in understanding. Wherever Rei was headed, it was not willingly, and she could only guess what the young girl had fled from all those years ago.

"Will my grandbabies be safe, Jin?" she asked, her heart weighing heavy.

"Rei'll keep 'em safe," Jin murmured.

Irene recoiled slightly, and she quickly realized he didn't know either. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, wishing the boy would spill. But he remained adamant, bound by his word like he had been for so many years, and even in the face of so much heartbreak, he refused to shatter.

In a way, it was reassuring. Had the two fought, or had their relationship ended poorly, she could only guess he would have been much more open to sharing the details. His unwavering loyalty only further proved that Rei's departure was forced, fueled by something greater.

"I trust she will," she finally said, patting his back reassuringly, "and so should you..."

He managed a slight nod before downing another sip of tea. Irene remained by his side, thinking of what she could say, or what she shouldn't say, but all she could think of now was the broken and sobbing mess sitting beside her.

"Jin, dear, I think you should go home," she said, "I appreciate you still coming in to run the clinic, but I can take care of things here. You know if an emergency occurs-"

"I'm not here for the clinic," Jin said, his tone almost biting, "I'm here because I'll be far worse if I'm not."

"Jin, dear, we all need time to calm down and mourn for our losses..."

"And I prefer to do it right here. I can't just-" he stopped himself for a moment, fighting back his frustration and taking a composing breath, "Irene, I can't just sit at home. I need to keep myself occupied."

"You're trying to avoid thinking about it..." She gently rubbed his back. "But dear, you need to realize that letting yourself wallow a little is part of the entire process. You need to take some time and get yourself together. You've just faced a horrible loss. You need to cope..."

"Thanks, Irene, but I'm coping just fine."

He abandoned his tea and stood, moving back to his table and resuming his setup for the day. Irene looked after him, heaving a sigh before returning to the counter and re-opening her book.

He didn't make a sound all morning.

He remained in a kind of stupor for most of the day. The clinic was getting business, but it was all things Irene could handle, so he just sat by himself in his office, head in his hand, staring off into space.

Was Rei safe? He sadly didn't know. Surely she was in the city by now, and she and the kids were probably doing what they could to settle in. If they were alone, Nami was probably screaming and crying, and the thought of it caused him to shake his head and nearly break down again. He thought of Alex, who was probably quiet, trying to be the unbreakable fortress for his mother and sister, and he broke down entirely.

It had been a cruel cycle. He'd break down for a few minutes, wipe his eyes, be okay for a little while, and then break down again. The thoughts kept pushing themselves in and our as his mind struggled to focus on two things at once. He couldn't solely focus on the day nor the situation, and so he remained a constant and unstable mess, and he silently begged that none of his customers heard him through the curtain.

He tried to read, but the words didn't reach him, nor did his mind's eye see any of the worlds his authors had painstakingly painted. All they saw and thought of was Rei and the kids. He tried to do some busy work, maybe tidy up the office some, but he felt heavy, his feet bound to the floor, and he couldn't muster up the strength to move. At one point, he'd pulled one of Nami's old coloring books out of the bookshelf, hoping it would be more calming than a bad memory, but the memory won out and the book was quickly returned.

He wished he could tell someone, anyone, about the entirety of the situation. He'd wanted so badly to tell Irene everything. He wanted to curse Ren's name, wanted to explode on someone about Rei's awful family, the things they'd done to her, the asshole they'd so idiotically stuck her with. His blood boiled at the thought of anyone treating their own flesh and blood so terribly.

Rei had always said they'd never cared, that her very birth was more for personal gain than love, and she'd never known a true mother's touch until Shelly and Irene came into her life. Even then, despite their kindness, she admitted it always hurt that her own mother had never treated her so well, that her father had never cared enough to step in, even when Ren's abuse had become known.

All of that had nearly made Jin scream with rage. Truthfully, her stories resulted in some of the first times he'd ever wished to inflict physical harm on someone, and that was something he actively avoided. But even his pacifistic nature seethed at the very thought of her old life, and the very idea of his kids possibly coming to know of it made him sick to his stomach.

It was cruel. It was cruel and unfair, and it made him value quiet little Castanet even more than he ever had. If Rei's family had existed on this island, that treatment would have been stopped immediately, and the girl would have grown up loved and cherished by an entire community of people.

Instead, she spent most of her life feeling worthless, and while the love of Castanet had certainly helped repair her, there was damage that was irreparable, and Jin cursed himself for being unable to fix it, even despite knowing the ability to do so would require works of fiction, at best. There was no time travel. There were no magical genies. The Harvest Goddess could only do so much, and none of it was up to the task of fixing Rei. No miracle existed, yet he still cursed himself for it, and he cursed the world, too.

He shook his head, disappointed at himself. One of the first things he'd learned on his path to being a doctor was that there would be times where a patient would die. No matter how far medicine advanced, no matter what he did, he would face it. Humans could not cheat death, and would not be able to for a long long time, if ever, and it was better to accept the consequences at the beginning of his training, rather than at the death of his first patient.

It had been the hardest thing to accept, and at first, he could not. He vowed to study hard, to be the absolute best, to never allow anyone else to die. He'd already watched someone important slip away, and he'd never wanted to see it happen again.

But then it did.

It was one of his first real cases. He was still working away from Castanet at the time, wanting to stay near his mentor for a little while. The victim had been so young, barely a teenager. Jin was the first to respond, and scared as he'd been, he'd done everything he could to save her life. He'd worked all night, through what was arguably one of his most stressful nights of his entire career, all to ensure the life of a young stranger.

But she had passed away, despite him doing everything possible, despite using his best tools and his best team, despite every wish and prayer he'd ever uttered to not let it happen.

On that day, Jin had cried. He had accepted mortality, accepted limits, and accepted that, even at his best, bad things could happen, and that sometimes life just had this insatiable need to snatch good people away, to put good people through awful times, to torment the people caught in its web however it pleased.

He had accepted that...except with Rei. He had convinced himself that, of all people, he could save Rei. He'd done everything possible, everything within his power. He'd put more work into her than he'd put into everything in his life, and he'd felt so safe with her. He watched her blossom before him, watched her mother two wonderful children, watched her grow happier and healthier with every given day. Even setbacks like Juniper's death had only left her scarred, and while parts of her broke, her core remained intact, and she remained his wonderful Rei.

Now, after all of that, after everything they had been through, that wonderful girl was being dragged away to a Hell she was so sure would never haunt her again.

He just couldn't accept that...

=^x^=

"Jin?"

"Wha..."

It took him a few moments to realize where he was. Finally, his eyes focused, and Anissa's worried face came into view.

"Oh...hi, Anissa," he murmured.

He could smell fresh tea coming from somewhere beside him, but he didn't bother to look or reach for it. He'd forgotten that Anissa had taken to coming by the clinic from time to time after they'd talked and hammered things out. She grabbed a green chair, same as always, and sat beside him, looking at his sunken gaze with concern.

"Are you alright?" she asked, "You and Irene seem off, and you especially look...forgive me, but you look awful, Jin."

He shook his head, his eyes falling shut. His morning had been so emotionally turbulent that he didn't have much to spare. He wished he could just crawl into bed and call it a day, but it was only around noon. He looked to Anissa with defeat.

"I'm alone..." he whispered.

"Alone?" Anissa asked, "Jin, you have so many people who love you. Why would you feel alone?"

She was trying so hard to comfort him, but all she did was awaken the thoughts that had haunted him all day. He shook his head, and tried to wipe away the forming tears as his body involuntarily shook.

"No...Anissa, they're gone..."

"Who's gone?"

"Rei...and my kids..."

He buried his head into his hands as his voice broke on the last words, and Anissa's eyes widened as the scenarios rushed through her head.

"Wait, how are they gone?" she asked, "Jin, what happened?"

He went into another round of trying to calm down, unable to talk. She waited, trying everything she could to console him, which she hated to admit was very little. All she could do was remain by his side, feeling helpless.

"Jin, what can I do?" she asked.

"There's nothing," he whispered, "I don't know what to do. I feel lost..."

"You can start by telling me," she pleaded, "Talking it out will help. We can sort things out..."

Jin merely shrugged, though his mind was screaming every answer she could want.

"Why did she leave?" Anissa asked firmly.

"I can't say..." Jin whispered.

"You need to..."

"I can't..."

He wanted to, desperately. He couldn't even look at her, knowing he'd cave and spill everything if he saw those worried eyes staring at him.

"But you're breaking down, Jin. Was it an argument? Did she go far? I'll talk to her, Jin. I'll bring her back."

The thought of that only made him feel worse. This girl had loved him once, probably still did. Yet here she was, putting aside everything for the chance to run and find the girl who had caused her so much heartache.

"You can't bring her back..." he whispered.

"Why can't I?" she asked.

"Because she left Castanet, Anissa!"

His shout echoed throughout the entire clinic, and he was almost scared when he heard it. He broke down again, scared at his own outrage, scared at the thought of never seeing her again, scared to see the look of horror he'd just painted on the face of one of his best friends. She tried to hug him, but he shrugged her off. He couldn't handle her touch right now. She backed away a little, watching him, unable to find a way to console him.

"There was no argument..." Jin finally forced himself to answer, "Everything that happened is beyond my control. There's nothing you can do to help me, Anissa. There's nothing any of us can do..." His sobs were getting worse, but he made himself continue. "She didn't want to go. The kids begged not to go. Nami...she cried. My poor little girl's crying and there's nothing I can do. My son's trying to be strong for her, but I saw it. Just as upset as his sister..."

"Jin..."

"But they had to go...I had to make them listen to her. They had no choice...and they will probably despise me for it. Despise her..."

"Jin...why couldn't you follow...?"

"I can't tell you..."

"Don't feel obligated to stay for us, Jin."

"You couldn't be farther from the truth, Anissa..."

He hadn't meant for that to sound as bad as it did. Anissa was growing very frustrated, and frankly, so was he.

"Why can't you tell me?" she asked, her tone growing more bitter, "I've always kept your secrets, Jin."

"This is different," he whispered, "I...promised her. I can't."

"You're so dedicated to her secrets, and look what it's done to you!"

Jin wasn't sure how it happened, but a teacup ended up smashed against his wall, the tea dripping onto the floor. He didn't even know a teacup was there, but he didn't even care anymore. He and Anissa were both silent, his hands drawn into fists as he shook, her staring wide-eyed, her hands folded into her lap so tightly it was as if she were trying to avoid strangling something. He felt an almost primitive anger welling up inside of him.

"You have no right..." he seethed, finally finding his voice, "You're overstepping your bounds, Anissa."

"Maybe I am, but I'm also sitting here watching my best friend writing in pain, and a wall of secrets demands he suffer alone. It's not right, Jin!"

"I demand it, Anissa."

"How do you expect to cope then?"

"I don't."

He could almost feel the ice in his voice. His anger at Anissa was slowly fading, mostly because he realized that any normal human being would react like she was. In all honesty, she was right. Rei's secrets weren't worth the pain they caused, but he chose to deal with it. He chose to harbor them, chose to hurt, all because he loved her...

"Nothing can fix this, Anissa," he said, breathing slowly as he began to regain himself, "I've lost my entire world, and so have my kids and my wife. None of us will cope until we're back together."

His hand clutched his chest.

"You don't understand how much this is killing me," he whispered, the last of his anger finally fading, "Not a day has gone by where I haven't held my kids. I've denied them nothing. Now I can't even so much as say good night. And Rei...I can't sleep if she's not with me..."

"Jin..."

"I feel like I've broken every promise I've made to my children. I promised them I would always be there, and now I'm not..."

He felt Anissa's arms wrap around him, and he was pulled into a tight hug. His entire body involuntarily flinched, but he didn't fight her off this time. He didn't have it in him. He let his head rest on her shoulder, and her fingers gently stroked his hair.

"Listen to me," she said gently, her voice becoming soft, almost motherly, "You said so yourself that it was beyond your control. You haven't broken any promises, and none of it is your fault. Your kids, Rei...they love you. I'm sure they will find a way home, back to you..."

"I feel like it's so futile..." Jin whispered, "My perfect world broke so easily. Now I may never hold my kids again..."

"Don't lose hope like that. Be strong for them. Live for them."

He wrapped his arms around her and broke down sobbing into her. She kept stroking his hair, letting him break down as much as he needed to.

"I just wish for one last moment," he murmured through broken sobs, "Just one last moment with them..."

"Is that really all?" she asked.

He went silent for a moment, and then another sob escaped him, and his grip on her tightened as he shook his head.

"No..." he whispered.

For a little while, they stayed that way. Then he finally sat back, freeing her shoulder, and wiped his eyes.

"I'm sorry..." he said.

"You're hurt, Jin," Anissa said gently, "It's okay..."

"No, I mean..."

He choked up again.

"...I mean for what I did to you," he finally managed to say.

"Jin, you've done nothing to me," Anissa said, now slightly confused.

"I broke your heart..."

She went silent, her eyes shifting to the floor. He looked away, feeling guilty after all of this. She had been here for him, had been a true friend, and yet he'd hurt her so badly...

"Jin. You didn't love me like I loved you. I've accepted that."

"You didn't talk to me for so long, 'Nissa..."

"I never said it happened over night..."

She blushed slightly, rubbing her arm.

"Jin, I loved you so much, and I'll always care for you. That means that I also want you to be happy, even if it's not with me. If Rei is your true happiness, then I will always support you. If you claim you need to keep her secrets, if you are being honest about this being beyond your control and no fault of her own, then that's your decision. I personally think you should tell someone, but if you cannot, then that's just how it is..."

She heaved a sigh. His eyes were still cast to the floor.

"I just really do love you, and I don't want to see anyone I love so hurt," she whispered, gently placing two fingers under his chin and lifting his head so their eyes met, "so I will always be here if you need me, no matter the past. But you can't go blaming yourself for these things. You can't help loving Rei any more than I can help loving you..."

"'Nissa..."

He hugged her again.

"I love you too," he whispered, "I'm sorry I've done a poor job of showing it...but thank you. Thank you for being there for me..."

"I always will be."

Her affectionate side came out a bit as she ruffled his hair, just like during the old days, and Jin finally managed a small laugh.

"It hurts that we could never be together," she admitted, "..but that doesn't mean I don't value our friendship. You're one of my closest friends, Jin. If nothing else, I am grateful for that."

"Thanks, 'Nissa..."

The two finally parted, and he wiped his eyes again.

"Hey, Jin?"

"Yeah..?"

"Want me to bring you some fresh tea?"

He blinked back a few tears before managing a weak smile and a small nod.

"That would be lovely," he said, "Thank you..."

=^x^=

"Are you sure, Jin?"

"Yes. I'm sure. She's not happy without Rei..."

Renee frowned and took Rosie's reigns. The white horse didn't react, nor did the quiet doctor who'd relinquished her.

"You realize Rei kind of raised this horse to only trust your family, right?" Renee pointed out uncomfortably, "I really don't know how well she'll cope here."

"Rei trusts you with her," Jin said flatly, "I think she'll have a better chance of being happy with people who can afford the time she needs."

Renee crossed her arms, gazing up at the clouds for a brief moment before looking back to Jin.

"I don't know where Rei is, nor do I expect you to tell me," Renee said firmly, "but the second she's back, I expect this horse to be back on her farm."

"I pray for that day to come, Renee..."

The farm girl softened, and reached out to touch his shoulder.

"...You really don't want to do this, do you?" she asked softly.

"I don't. But I need to put Rosie first. She'd kill me if I didn't..."

He reached out and stroked the mare's white mane. She nipped affectionately at him, but her eyes didn't light up. Renee managed a sad nod and pulled the doctor into a brief hug.

"I expect you to keep that promise," she said.

"The second she's back, and no later," Jin reiterated.

"Good..."

He watched her lead the mare away, then stuck his hands in his pockets as the wind picked up, bracing himself against the first winds of winter. He waited until the two were out of sight before turning around and heading back for the town.

Word had traveled fast. Every now and then, one of the townsfolk would drop by the clinic, asking if he was okay. He would simply say yes and send them off, not wanting to deal with questions. Most of the time, they were not asked.

A few days after Rosie had gone to Renee's, Jin appeared at the tailor shop. Shelly perked up once he entered, but frowned when she saw what he was carrying.

"Quite the box there, Jin," she said, eyeing the big block of cardboard he held.

"Yeah...I was kinda hoping you wouldn't mind keeping it safe for me."

Shelly beckoned him over. She pointed to a clear space under the counter, and Jin gently slid it under.

"Thanks," he said.

"May I ask why you're entrusting that to me?" Shelly said.

"...I'm gonna be honest. I haven't really been home much."

Jin fidgeted a little bit. Shelly patted his shoulder gently, then looked to the rack behind her and pulled a brand new jacket off.

"Here, dear," she said, "It's starting to get cold, and your jacket's looking kind of worn out."

"Ah, Shelly, I'm okay," Jin said, but Shelly shoved the fine garment into his arms.

"Nonsense. Try it on! Come on."

Jin suppressed a scowl and threw the new jacket on. He sadly had to admit it was quite comfortable, and it fit perfectly. Shelly smiled and zipped it up for him.

"Lovely," she said, grinning, "You're looking sharp, Jin."

"Thanks, Shelly..."

Her smile faded, and she pat his shoulder again.

"...I miss making clothes for them," she sighed, "Are you sure they're alright, Jin? Just say the word and I can send a package over to them."

"I'm afraid I cannot send anything to them," Jin sighed, "If that ever changes, I'll definitely send them everything you want to craft."

"Oh, Jin..."

She sobbed gently and blew her nose.

"They were like my little granbabies," she sighed, "As much my little ones as Vivian and Angie. They miss them so much, too. Little Vivian keeps saying Alex stood her up, and Angie's been devastated. She loved playing with Nami."

"I know, Shelly. You always treated them like your own blood."

Shelly pulled the doctor into a tight little hug, still sniffling.

"You and Rei are both family," she said, "You always took such good care of Candace, and Luna loved Rei like a sister. You know if you ever need anything, we're right here, okay?"

"Thanks, Shelly..."

"Do you want to come for dinner, dear? The girls miss when you used to come by."

"Not much appetite nowadays...but I'll try to find the time to stop by."

"Best I can hope for, huh?"

She patted his back and gave him a little peck on the cheek.

"Be good, okay Jin dear?"

"I will. Thank you."

He stepped outside and, for a second, hugged the comfy jacket to himself. He forgot how much he loved Shelly's clothes...

It was after hours, but he retreated into the Clinic and locked the door. He'd decided he felt better if he stayed there, rather than return home. Being there just felt so lonely. That house had grown far too big for one person, and looking at it had not done well for his state of mind.

Even though it hadn't been that long, the farm had already begun to suffer. The fields were drying out, the animals were unhappy, and Jin didn't have the time nor the heart to actually grow anything. Cain had agreed to take Rei's remaining livestock and chicken, but had hesitated when he mentioned Rosie.

"My daughter will be mad," he'd sighed, "but if you can convince her, we'll take her in."

Jin knew why he refused, but it didn't change his mind. He knew Rosie would be happier at a maintained farm with other horses, and if anyone could manage to gain the horse's trust, it'd be Renee.

He hoped the mare was adjusting well...

He lay in his bed and stared at the ceiling. He missed the warm wooden walls of his home. He missed the soft sheets, the good smells of Rei's cooking, the sound of his children laughing Rei was putting them to bed...

He curled up under the sheets and pulled out her letter again. It was hard to read, and his eyes stung with tears whenever he viewed it, but it was the only way he could find any peace at night.

 **My darling Jin,**

 **We've made it, thank goodness. The kids and I are safe. The man who wrote that letter told me he'd spotted me walking with Alex. We are very fortunate. Had he found me alone, it could have easily led to him finding you. We've been forced apart, but we are all okay.**

 **I hid the ring as safely as possible. I convinced the man that I had not married, that my children were the results of affairs unrelated to Castanet. You, my dear, are safe. I promise. Never forget your children are your guardian angels…**

 **As of right now, I haven't seen Ren. I don't know when he'll be about. He has us constantly watched, though. I've convinced the kids to remain as quiet as possible until things ease up here. I can't risk him cluing in to your existence. He won't be thrilled if he finds I ever remarried.**

 **For you and Castanet, I promise, we will remain silent. I will somehow make our children understand.**

 **Thankfully, my friend has remained true. He will bring these letters to you every week, as I have promised. Unfortunately, these can only go one way. I'm sorry, but I cannot risk any evidence in the apartment. But I will do my best to fill you in on everything.**

 **I have also unfortunately decided the kids cannot participate. I apologize. It's just safer, and I feel it is in their best interests.**

 **I'm sorry, Jin. I am so sorry.**

 **I never thought he would look there. I was so sure we were safe. Now our lives are jeopardized because of this pitiful excuse for a man…**

 **I'm sorry, Jin…for my past. I will do all I can to put it back there where it belongs.**

 **Until then…**

 **Wait for me…**

 **-Rei**

He folded the letter and placed it under his pillow. He longed for another letter, but he knew it would be at least another six days before her next letter appeared, and he forced himself to be patient.

That was okay, though. He could wait for her, just as she requested. He closed his eyes and fell into the clutches of sleep, his hand stretched under the pillow so he could feel the letter was still nearby.

She still had hope. She was okay, and so were the kids, and she was protecting them. She was trying to find a way home, a way back to him, and he felt that was worth waiting for.

No matter how long it took...


	10. Fragile Hearts

**Chapter 10** : Fragile Hearts

=^x^=

She wandered the streets of the city, doing her usual shopping while her son was at school. Her daughter's hand was locked into hers, and though she constantly struggled, she was never let go to roam. It pained her mother to keep such a tight grip, especially since her daughter was used to a certain degree of freedom. But this was the city, and the large, open, safe places her daughter had grown up in were nothing but a memory now. She did not yet understand the tight, crowded streets of the city were dangerous, that she now lived in a place where most of the population had no clue who she was, or who her parents were.

Her mother wished she didn't have to understand that. It was a lesson she wished she'd never have to learn. But now it was necessary, and she whispered a gentle but firm demand for her little one to pipe down and dug into her pocketbook for her credit card. The two departed with a few bags, all filled with the essentials and little else. No treats, no toys, none of the unnecessary pleasures she would have normally purchased for the occasional surprise, for good behavior, or just because she felt like seeing her kids smile.

Her budget was very tight now, and very open to scrutiny.

Her daughter trudged along silently at her mother's side, eyes cast to the ground. It had rained earlier, and there were puddles along every inch of the sidewalk. She couldn't help but scowl at them, noting how ugly and dirty they looked. Their old home had always looked so pretty after rainfall, and she and her brother had always splashed about in the puddles during outings or free time where life had gotten boring.

She wanted to go back. She longed to go back every day, and she'd fought her mother until the woman had no choice but to squelch her. The subject, as she put it now, was closed indefinitely, and she'd resorted to ignoring the poor girl's pleas in a desperate attempt to avoid talking about it. The girl's fighting spirit had taken ages to quell, and even then, it was only calm now because she grew tired of banging her head against a brick wall.

It rested and waited, patiently awaiting the moment where it could swell up in a blaze of glory and attack.

Until then, the girl simply walked obediently beside her mother, hands clasped, eyes cast toward the ground, her normally overactive vocal cords not daring to unleash a sound. Her gaze never went past her feet nowadays in an attempt to avoid seeing this ugly world.

So it was unsurprising when the young girl missed her mother's hand slowly reaching into her pocket and moving its contents into the hands of another human being who simply walked off without acknowledgement, as if he were just another stranger on the streets. She missed the momentary smirk that appeared on her mother's face, the temporary and fleeting light of yet another tiny triumph that would pass right under her captor's nose.

She didn't know that, in a few days, her father would be reading another story about her and her brother.

=^x^=

"Out of the room," Rei whispered frantically, ushering the two children up the stairs, "Stay in your rooms and don't speak a word or come out until I say so."

"But mom," Nami began, but her mother hushed her immediately and nudged her towards the stairs again.

"Nami, remember your last promise..." Alex warned in a low voice.

He had to admire the fact that the "Dad Card" was still perfectly viable. Nami went stark silent and followed Alex upstairs, but they only made it halfway to their rooms before doubling back and kneeling at the top of the stairs. Nami fought to see, but Alex kept her behind him and hushed her harshly. If either of them were going to get caught, he was going to ensure it wasn't her, and he remained adamant until the door opened and his little sister ceased to fuss.

"This week's allowance," a gruff voice muttered, pushing an envelope into the redhead's hands, "He's got a week's reprieve coming up, this Monday. You'll notice there's a bit more than usual..."

Rei said nothing, didn't even acknowledge the voice's owner with so much as a nod. A chilling laugh echoed from his throat, and the two children shuddered at its chill.

"This ain't no excuse to go crazy," the gruff voice lacked any of the chilling mirth his laugh had carried, "I fully expect you and those two...things, to spruce up for the big man accordingly. He doesn't wanna return home to some farm girl and her two little bastards."

Alex felt a heat rising up in his body and flaring into his eyes, and his mother's body language suggested a similar reaction. He saw her body stiffen, his fists clench, but no words were exchanged. She contained herself even through another chilling laugh from the creep at their door, and Alex could hear his sister quietly whimpering.

"You should be grateful, y'know," the voice sighed, and Alex heard a lighter flickering, "Smoke?"

"No, thank you," Rei said quietly.

"Kicked the habit? Shame. We'll have to fix that."

"Ew..." Nami whispered before Alex nudged her.

"Anyway, lassie, you realize ol' Ren's been pretty generous. He's forgiven you for running off and for saddling him with bad blood. Depending on their attitudes, Ren may be willing to accept them as his own, given he feels a tad guilty for 'em. Two little ones born to a foolish little girl, and no real man to keep 'em in line. I highly suggest you teach those little urchins a manner or two before Ren comes. Maybe it's hard for you, but I'm sure even you can remember even a few of the basic lessons your parents wasted on you."

"...Are you done?" Rei seethed, struggling to keep her voice level.

"Oh? Am I striking nerves?"

This laugh was darker, more sinister. Alex backed away slightly, pushing Nami further out of view. She didn't fight him on getting closer.

"It's not like I enjoy it, lassie, but you've earned this treatment," the voice grunted, "I highly suggest reeling in that attitude before Ren gets here. Chances are he'll be much more efficient at driving that temper out of ya than I am, and he'll do it in a quarter of the time it took me. Take it as friendly advice, and don't let yourself fly off the handle with him, or you may very well find yourself biting off far more than you and your precious illegitimates could afford to chew..."

Alex watched as the shadow stretching from the doorway shrunk, and the second his mother shut the door, Alex grabbed Nami and dragged her into his bedroom. They closed the door slowly, avoiding any noise, and were acting far too innocent by the time Rei entered.

"You can come out now," she said quietly, as if she were still struggling to reign herself in, "Alex, make sure all of your homework is done. Nami, go get your pajamas out and get ready for your shower. Bedtime's in an hour, and I want you to have some reading time."

"...Yes, mom," Nami murmured softly, and she silently walked out of Alex's room and towards her own. Rei watched her for a moment, then turned back to Alex.

"...If I catch you two eavesdropping like that again, it won't be pretty," she said quietly.

"Mom..." Alex began, but Rei shook her head.

"I know you're trying to be the adult here, Alex, but there are certain matters you're not meant to hear nor deal with," Rei explained firmly.

"I was worried he'd try to hurt you," Alex said quickly, "I...I don't like when that man comes to our door, mom."

"I don't either."

She placed a hand on his shoulder. He'd grown so much in such a short time, she didn't even need to stoop down anymore to speak to him.

"But he's a necessary evil, and he's one of the many reasons I need you two to listen to me," Rei said quietly, "You can't play cards if you're going to go against their meaning."

"You're right...but in that moment, I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to you, because..."

"I know...but from now on, you need to trust me to protect myself, and both of you."

She ruffled his hair gently, but neither of them managed a smile. It had been so hard to smile lately.

"Mama...are we really gonna have to 'impress' this bad guy?" Alex asked softly.

"No. It's an empty threat." She actually smirked a tad. "He likes to scare me, but even I know he won't bother showing up."

"Who even is this man, mom?"

"Nobody you should fear."

She patted his head gently.

"Go get your homework done. I want you in that shower after I put Nami to bed, okay?"

"It's already done, mom."

"Is it?"

She considered for a moment.

"Then I guess you can play some video games for awhile. Get your mind off the bad stuff, okay?"

"...Alright, mom."

It had been a rare treat, getting him that system. Rei wasn't a stranger to making money seemingly out of nowhere, and it had been the first big surprise she'd managed to give her son. Nami, on the other hand, she was still trying to find something fitting. She did bring home books fairly often, mostly because she could justify books to Ren pretty easily, and Nami seemed to like those well enough. But as far as a big gift went, Rei could only draw a blank. Her daughter hadn't shown much interest outside of her books.

Jin would've known. Jin would've found the perfect gift within the hour, and Rei wished she could ask him. But the letters were one-way only, so all she could write in tonight's letter was that she was stumped, and that she knew he'd figure something out, but that things would be okay, because she knew she'd come up with something very soon. She did reassure him that his daughter's library grew larger by the day, just like his always had, and that, for the most part, their children were settled into a fragile but working routine.

She left out the eavesdropping, but she mentioned the visit. Her thoughts floated to Ren as she wrote, and she snapped the lead off of her pencil and cursed under her breath. Ren was a master off adding insult to injury, dragging her and most of her family here and then never even bothering to show his face. She couldn't deny it was the smart choice, since she wasn't sure if she could resist driving her fist into that face within a second of seeing it, but the very fact that he continuously threatened to show up,only to make some excuse not to last minute...it was infuriating.

Ren was perfectly happy everywhere else in the world but here,. Now that he knew she was cooped up and caged, he was happy to spend his days among plenty of other people, drinking to his heart's content and basking in the glory of his fortune while his little bird of a wife remained obediently at home. Having her free and happy was unlawful to him. It was something he couldn't stand, something that infuriated him.

I hate it, Jin, she wrote, He can be perfectly happy without me. Why must he keep me like this? Why must he lack satisfaction unless he's crushing me under this fist every moment of every day?

Jin's voice popped into her head, offering all the answers she knew Jin would say. He would say Ren was jealous of her happiness, that he only felt powerful when he held control, and that his loss of control over her was a constant thing that bothered him. Rather than let it go and move on, he had obsessed, suffered many a sleepless night over the aspect of something running free of his control, until he finally retrieved it, and now he rested peacefully knowing she was back under his rule. He didn't need to see her. He didn't have any love for her, nor desire to see her. He just had to know she was within his grasp, and that was far more than enough for him.

Jin's voice was so bitter as he said it, even in her thoughts. Honestly, she could only imagine he'd sound much angrier if they were discussing this in person, but a very angry Jin wasn't something often present in her thoughts. Jin's voice was never more than bitter in her thoughts, and more often than not, it was as level and neutral as it usually was. When life forced her to be more logical, it was always his calm voice that put a tune to her thoughts, and she had to admit that imagining him saying these things not only helped her work things out...but they helped her see how intelligent they were.

She'd never seen her voice as very intelligent, though the Jin voice in her head often argued, and it was slowly starting to win that battle...

She jotted a few more things into the letter before tucking it away with the others. It had become almost like writing a journal. For this reason, Jin was receiving short stories rather than simple letters, and she was sure he enjoyed that greatly. It was relaxing for her, and it gave him a lot to read. She hoped it was calming for him like it was for her.

She hoped he was okay...

Imagining his days were difficult for her. Considering how difficult her own were, she could only imagine how the poor doctor was faring. She came to the sad realization that her beloved was probably not adapting well, and she thought of her farm, of Rosie...

Rosie was probably with Renee now. She could almost guarantee it.

In truth, Rei knew far too well that Rosie wouldn't even trust Renee. She sorrowfully admitted to herself that she'd raised that horse to trust nobody aside from her and Jin's own blood, and she thought she'd never regret it. She'd never expected to part ways with that horse. She could only hope Rosie would trust Renee enough to be at least somewhat happy, and that she wouldn't feel too betrayed when she returned.

If she ever could return...

=^x^=

"Mom..."

"Please, Nami...not tonight."

Rei shook her head in defeat.

"I know you want to talk about it. I know you want to cry and scream and know everything, but all it will do is cause another fight, and I just don't have the strength tonight, Nami..."

"But mom..."

"Nami...please..."

She tucked the young girl in. She was clutching a small teddy bear, unable to make eye contact with her mother. Rei sighed and bent down to kiss her, only to find her lips pressed against the fuzzy bear.

"Someday you'll understand," Rei sighed, wiping the fuzz away, "But...please, for all of our safety, it can't be discussed openly, and saying more than this will only cause you more pain."

Nami was silent. Rei sat for a few more moments before standing and walking to the door, only stopped when she heard the blankets rustling and Nami's tiny voice whisper, "Just tell me you want things to be normal again, at least someday..."

Rei looked back, her gaze regaining some of its warmth before replying, just as quietly, "Every day, my dear..."

She departed the room and entered Alex's. He was under the blankets playing a racing game, the same one he'd played with Taylor back in Castanet. He paused when she entered, as that was part of their deal with the video games, mostly out of respect for Jin.

"I was going to make it a bit of bargaining chip," she'd semi-joked when Alex was hooking up the system, "I was going to allow it, so long as a game was never playing when we were talking. Of course, some people always saw them as a pointless distraction, but I figured maybe I could talk them into it if the pointless distraction was avoided...that way, nobody could say anything."

She sat beside Alex on the bed and put her arm around him. He didn't say anything.

"She asks me, too," he finally said, "all the time."

"I know, Alex, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's...I guess it comes with the territory."

He straightened out and shrugged.

"It's part of being a sibling. She expects me to tell her things you won't. Any normal older brother would."

"Most normal older brothers wouldn't be in this kind of situation," Rei reassured gently.

"I know. It would drive me insane if I didn't know that..."

He thought for a moment.

"It's okay. You don't need to finish that."

"Thanks. It's hard to...talk around it."

"I know..."

One of their first lessons, Alex recalled, was learning that they couldn't mention Jin, not even by a nickname. They couldn't make it obvious that they actually had a loving father somewhere. It would drive Ren mad, Rei knew, and she'd made it a house rule to not mention Jin at all.

It didn't take much imagination to know how Nami would react to that, which was why Rei had been more than adequately prepared to handle that one, and it had taken mere seconds for Alex to be on board. The two were like a hive mind in situations like these, and Rei found communicating with her son relaxing because of that.

It was the only time she could talk about Jin without talking about Jin.

"At the end of the day, as much as it hurts, I know I'm doing the right thing," Alex said, looking to his mother with a determined gaze, "When the time comes, I know I can say that much."

"And you have every right to that knowledge," Rei said softly.

"...But I do wish things could just go back," he said, almost under his breath.

"I do, too, every day..."

Alex shook his head.

"It's not fair..." he whispered, "It's just not fair, mom."

=^x^=

Life was passing by like a blur. When he looked back on the past months, Jin found it hard to separate moments from any of his given days. Life had become a slow, boring routine of eat, work, sleep, and everything had become so monotonous that it simply blended together.

He couldn't tell you what patients he'd seen lately, or who'd said hello to him as he walked to work. He couldn't place whose birthdays had passed, or what he had for dinner at any point during the past week. He honestly couldn't remember if he even had any dinner this week. Had he eaten at all? He couldn't say. He didn't know.

The only significant moments he remembered were temporary, scattered instances where someone managed to relieve him of stupor, if only briefly. He remembered a brief instance where Shelly delivered some scarves and mittens. It was starting to get cold again, and she worried about him. The jacket she gave him last year was still very worn by him, and Shelly had sadly noted it seemed to be a bit bigger on him than she remembered. He'd told her it was okay, even managed a tiny smile before she pecked him on the cheek and laughed. He remembered taking a brief walk through Flute Fields and seeing Renee outside with Rosie. He hadn't gone to visit, but he'd observed for a brief few moments, and considered going to say hello before reminding himself it was his fault Rosie wasn't back home, and walked away with his eyes cast down. He didn't deserve to be near that horse. Not now.

He remembered a few instances of Anissa. She'd been by a few times with tea, and she'd sit with him and talk. He remembered her visits, but he couldn't remember their conversations. They had been too much of a struggle for him, and he found himself only half-listening to Anissa and nodding in understanding at the proper moments. He did remember one instance where she tried to talk him into coming over for dinner, which he'd politely declined, and then the murky ocean of words continued flowing, and it was all he could do to keep his head above water.

He didn't want this. He didn't want this at all. He wanted to recover, he wanted to be normal, but he found himself unable to move on. Whenever he tried to pay the world more mind, it drained his energy faster than he could handle. Plus, he found himself unable to take being aware of everyone. When he bothered to notice, he only saw their stares, their worried glances, their subtle concerned gestures. He heard the small talk, the gossip, the rumors that had begun circulating, and he found it so taxing that he had two choices: turn it off completely, or avoid it. Since the former had become impossible, his only other choice was barring it from his mind completely and pretending it didn't exist.

He knew the people of Castanet well. They were all his patients. They were, as a whole, his responsibility, and he felt a certain love and devotion to everyone there because of it. He couldn't hold it against them when they talked, when they worried, when they tried to figure out why their shy yet doting doctor had gone so cold. But he just couldn't deal with them.

A person who doesn't want to be cared for is one of the hardest to love, and Jin had become that person.

He felt empty and undeserving. He felt like half a man, wasting away within his mundane life while his other, more amazing and fulfilling life was somewhere he could never reach, somewhere he dared not venture to. Risking a visit would only cause pain and danger for everyone, and as much as he longed to hold his wife and his children one more time...

No, that was a lie. It was as Anissa had said, and he had agreed. One last time was not enough. It was never enough. He wanted more time with them than the world could and would ever grant. Anyone who had ever loved someone knew that feeling. You could long for that final kiss, that one last goodbye, but deep down you knew that one final time would simply lead to far more longing, to far more pain and suffering. It was a renewed lease on guilt and sorrow, an invitation to reset the healing process and start all over again.

The only time "one last time" was acceptable was when closure was needed, and Jin didn't want closure here. Closure was accepting he'd never see Rei and his children again. Closure was giving up. Closure was what would lead him to close the clinic and waste away more than he already was.

So no. One last time was not acceptable. He wanted more, and he kept telling himself that wanting more was a good thing, that wanting more meant he still held some hope. Judging by Rei's letters, he knew she wanted the same. They were longing, and they were hurting, but they both held just that little bit of hope, that dream that life would allow them to return to some sense of normalcy. Hope allowed him to look at that boat at the Castanet docks and see Rei waving to him upon it, Nami jumping excitedly, Alex's arms around her to ensure she didn't attempt jumping off the boat and into her father's arms. He could see it so clearly, his children running onto the dock and into his arms, his wife joining the big group hug soon after, and the two would be a family again, just like that.

It would happen. It had to happen. He stared at that boat for far too many long nights for it not to happen. He hoped too much, loved too much, even resorted to praying too much for that moment to arrive before his kids grew up too much without him, before Rei's spirit was torn to shreds, before he found himself withering away beyond repair.

It had to happen...

He watched and waited, hoping for a sign, hoping to hear the telltale chiming of a greater being listening in, just as Rei had before him.

But the bells never chimed for him.

=^x^=

"Poor boy's been distant, ever since Rei took off," Ruth sighed, "He hasn't said much of anything to you, Anissa?"

"Pass the salt," Craig muttered.

"Not a word," Anissa sighed, her eyes staring off into worlds unknown, "I've dropped by as much as time's allowed, but there's been no improvement."

"It's like he gets a bit quieter each day," Ruth sighed.

Craig cleared his throat, but both women paid him no mind.

"I know Taylor mentioned he's going to look for her while he's traveling," Ruth said, traces of hope lacing her otherwise dull tones, "Although I can't place much faith in him actually finding her."

"I wish Taylor were around," Anissa sighed, "He'd brighten the mood up."

"He'd also pass the salt," Craig muttered.

Ruth rolled her eyes before grabbing the salt in a tight fist and slamming it onto the table in front of her husband.

"Much obliged," he grunted, sprinkling bits of salt over his steak.

"Do you even care?" Ruth asked, eyeing him angrily, "I always thought Jin was one of the few people you liked around here."

"I care plenty," Craig said, "but gossiping about the boy ain't gonna help his recovery none."

"We're not gossiping," Anissa said quietly, "We just...don't know what to do."

"The answer's simple. You do nothing."

The two women exchanged glances as the older man spooned potatoes into his mouth.

"Nothing?" Anissa finally broke the silence, "How could you expect me to do nothing when my best friend is stuck in this...turmoil?"

"It's not that I don't expect you to be his friend, sweetheart, calm down," Craig said, "but you also need to realize that Jin's problems can't be fixed by anyone other than the ones causing it."

"But, dad, I'm sure there's something we can say or do to ease things."

"Anissa..."

Craig's tone grew a bit warmer, and he placed a gentle hand on his daughter's shoulder.

"If something happened to take you and your mother away from me, nothing in this world would contain a power great enough to erase the pain it'd cause," he explained, his normally tired expression replaced by one of seriousness, "Men like me and Jin stake our entire lives on the wellbeing of our families. When you lose what has literally become the most gigantic part of your life, it's far too large of a hole to be filled by anybody else."

Ruth was silently nibbling at her food, unable to think of what to say, and Anissa couldn't help but feel a little stunned.

"Don't sit there and act like you don't know this," Craig sighed, shaking his head, "You two know I'd be lost without you. Taylor, too. Why do you think I kept battling him on leaving?"

Anissa's eyes grew a bit wider.

"You're afraid he'll decide to leave Castanet..." she murmured.

"I'm not afraid he'll decide. I already know he's decided," Craig said matter-of-factly, his eyes narrowing, "and I hate that fact more than I care to deem reasonable. He comes back because we've been struggling, but Rei's fixed this island up pretty well, and our farm's been more than healthy enough to sustain us without Taylor's intervention."

He shook his head slowly.

"At first I was glad that girl fixed this place up," he continued, sipping a beer, "but then I realized where it would lead. Even a perfect Castanet isn't enough to leash that boy...and I'm afraid once he realizes this place will be okay without him, he will take his leave. I fear that boy's eighteenth birthday more than anything..."

Anissa was silent. Ruth wiped her eyes.

"But I know I gotta let him go. All I can hope is that I've taught him well enough. And judging by the fact that he's taken it upon himself to get out there and help keep this place afloat when it was so horribly sunk, I'd like to think I've done my job well. But Jin didn't get that same satisfaction."

Another sip of beer, another weep, another shake of the head.

"From what you've said, he lost his entire family overnight to nobody knows what or where, and he doesn't even have the privilege of spouting off about it. The boy's gonna be hurting, Anissa, and more than any man would be in his position given his more...specific circumstances. So, Anissa, as you can see, the best thing you can do is nothing, because there is and never will be anything you can do for him. It's a gap all of Castanet could not even come close to filling."

Anissa was silent for a few moments, then slowly slid her chair away from the table and stood.

"I...need to be excused," she said quietly, walking into her room, "I need to think for a little while."

"Okay, dear," Ruth said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Craig eyed his daughter's untouched dinner place and shook his head, only speaking again when he heard Anissa's door shut and lock.

"She's still so hung up on him," he muttered.

"Craig, dear, they're only friends," Ruth said, "Anissa told us she made amends with that a long time ago."

"I don't think that's the case."

He sipped his beer again. Ruth moved her hair away from her eyes and glanced back to her daughter's closed door.

"There's a very clear difference between Anissa now versus the Anissa we knew a few years ago," Ruth said, her voice steeling up, "You think she can't care for Jin without still thinking of him like that?"

"Notice she's pursued no one else ever since," Craig muttered, "She wastes her time having tea dates with a broken man in the hopes he'll break enough to settle for what he considered second best."

He barely flinched when Ruth's hand connected with his face.

"You have no right to speak like that," she hissed, "considering I remember a certain love-stricken young fool doing the same to a certain sweetheart of his."

"I recall it, as well," Craig said, rubbing the spot where her slap still stung, "It's exactly why I'd rather our daughter not follow in my footsteps..."

He stood, deposited his empty plate into the sink, and took the beer bottle into his hand. Ruth said nothing as he left.

=^x^=

"Hey, Craig," Hayden said, "Been awhile since I saw you sulkin' around these parts."

"Tonight, most anything is better than home," Craig sighed.

"Well, you chose a good night to come. Seems all the men are in the mood for some spirits."

Craig suppressed a pity-laugh as he spotted Cain, Gill, and Julius all seated in the corner, a deck of cards sitting in the center. Cain gestured for him to come over, and he took a seat. Hayden brought a round of booze over, and the four toasted the Harvest Goddess and her beautiful gift of alcohol before Gill started shuffling the deck.

"Never pegged ya as a cards man, Gill," Craig said.

"Gotta do something to earn that silver spoon stuck in my mouth," Gill said, smirking.

"Oh, I like him," Craig said, grinning as he gulped down some suds.

Craig knew Cain well enough, but the younger two were a bit of an enigma to him. Gill had never seemed to stick out much to him, and the flaming Julius was someone he'd practiced avoiding for most of his life. They had only been acquainted when he took Candace's hand in marriage, and only because Shelly had insisted on introducing them at the wedding.

"Julius, lighten up a little," Cain said, leaning forward and clopping the purple-haired man on his shoulder, "Usually you're the lively one! Don't leave me hanging, here."

"Sorry, Cain. My heart's just not in it tonight," Julius sighed as Gill passed out the cards.

"What's got you all in such a twist tonight?" Craig asked.

In unison, all three men answered: "Jin."

Craig would have left the bar right then if not for Cain's explosive laugh at his expression.

"This poor sucker's here for the SAME REASON!" he boomed, and Craig scowled.

"Really?" Gill asked, suppressing a chuckle.

"I'd prefer not discussing it," Craig grunted.

"Oh, but we must," Julius insisted, perking up slightly,"It's all our lovely ladies seem to be focused on doing!"

Craig cocked a brow and looked to Cain, whose bellowing laugh subdued quickly into a sad nod.

"It seems Candace, Luna, Kathy, and Renee have all been kind of...out of sorts, lately," Cain sighed, "My daughter's been especially distraught. He left Rosie at the farm, and no matter what she's tried, that horse just won't trust her."

"From what Luna told me, Rei raised that horse to be completely antisocial," Gill said.

"Same from what Candace has mentioned," Julius chimed, "Tell poor Renee to not let it get to her."

"Oh, we both know how Rei raised that horse," Cain sighed, playing his turn and eyeing Craig, "Dang it, Craig, your poker face ain't suffered a bit, has it?"

"A true man never loses his poker face," Craig said philosophically, playing his round and nodding to Julius.

"The only good part of this night is Owen got stuck with all our kids," Gill chuckled, playing his turn next, "Kathy just kind of volunteered him to take all the kids. Otherwise, I bet he'd be right here with us."

"Poor boy," Julius sighed, "He was whipped by the first night."

The men shared a laugh.

"Where are they, anyway?" Craig asked.

"My house," Gill grunted, "Luna seems to like just renting our place out for her girl nights nowadays."

They played a few more rounds in silence before Craig finally spoke again.

"Why are they all so upset over him?" he grunted, "The boy needs space. Don't they get it?"

"Candace and Luna are quite close to Jin," Julius explained, "Candace tells me Jin was one of her childhood friends, and Luna got closer to him after she met Rei."

"Rei was practically her best friend, too, so there's that," Gill sighed, "Ever since she left, Luna's been so quiet."

"Candace, too."

"Candace is always quiet, Jules."

"...More than usual."

Hayden brought another round, and a moment of silence was had as the men all gulped down some more alcohol. Craig noticed Julius's face growing flushed.

"Not a drinker, boy?" he asked, eyeing him with mild interest.

"Not particularly," he admitted, "but it feels good to just kind of not care tonight."

A few more hands were played, and a few choice words were exchanged before the conversation slowly crawled back to its origin.

"Anissa's in a crappy state, too," Craig said, "She keeps thinking she can fix everything, even when I tell her it's impossible."

"Same," Gill sighed.

"Sadly, the same here, too," Julius murmured.

"We've all attempted to get them to understand," Cain said, and even Hayden grunted an agreement from across the bar, "but Jin's become special to them all, either through Rei or through knowing him for so long. It's not surprising they'd feel a little down when they can't help a friend in need."

"Not to mention Jin's overall mood has put a bit of a damper on Castanet as a whole," Gill admitted, "Everyone sees him and feels awful. Even I can't hold a grin if I catch sight of him."

"The worst part is he's not even really trying to do it," Julius said, "Candace and I were talking a few nights ago. She says he's trying to wallflower."

"Wallflower?" Craig asked.

"Y'know, just kind of exist without really standing out. He just wants everyone to kind of...ignore him. Back when he was alone, it was kind of easy, because Jin was just this quiet little doctor who never bugged anyone. But after all that's happened, it's easy to miss how happy he became."

"The boy really came into his own," Cain sighed, "I loved seeing him and Nami. Always had that kid in hysterics about something. It was a sight for sore eyes..."

Craig considered for a moment before playing his turn.

"Now that you mention it, I guess it's noticeable," he said, taking another sip, "His son...the kid's a natural with anything and everything farming."

"Alex has followed Rei around that farm since he could walk," Cain chuckled.

"I told Ruth to give that kid a discount because I was so impressed," Craig sighed, "Imagine, somebody intelligent on this island."

He looked to the three hurt gazes aimed at him and buried himself into another gulp of his beer.

"Nothing personal," he grunted softly.

=^x^=

"It's gotten so hard to be happy when I see him like that all the time," Candace sighed.

"You said it," Luna grumbled, "Kathy, 'nother round!"

Kathy tossed out some beers, and the girls all downed a few gulps. Luna was braiding Candace's hair sloppily. She'd already had a few too many by even Kathy's standards, but didn't have the heart to stop herself. Candace was tipsy enough to not care about how badly her sister was destroying her hair.

"Just ONCE, I want that damned horse to at least LOOK happy," Renee yelled to nobody in particular, "Like, JEEZ, am I THAT scary?"

"You're not scary at all, Renee," Candace said softly.

"...OH! So now I can't be SCARY?" Renee yelled, jumping up.

"...Now you're scary," Candace whispered, shrinking further onto the floor and nearly topping Luna over.

"Ease up, Renee, it's not your fault," said Kathy who was, ironically, the most sober one in the room right now, "You know better than any of us Rosie only trust Rei's blood."

"But STILL!"

"Chill, girl. Take another can."

Kathy had almost sunk onto the ground beside Candace and Luna when there was a timid knock on the door. She opened it to reveal the long, solemn face of Anissa.

"Heeeeeeey, come join the party!" Luna slurred.

"Thanks," Anissa murmured, moving inside. Kathy shoved a can into her hand before she could protest.

"What brings you here, 'Nissa?" Candace asked, suppressing a hiccup.

"Just...I had to get out of that house, and I happened to see Owen a bit ago. He said you all got together here for a bit."

"Haha, Owen," Kathy giggled, "Hahahaha, Owen..."

"That was so superb, Kathy," Renee laughed.

"He's such a big kid, though. Did he look like he was having fun, Anissa?"

"Oh, yes. They were all running around outside playing ball."

"See? Big kid at heart!"

Kathy moved to give Renee a high five, but her very tipsy friend ended up nearly falling off of the couch instead.

"So...what brings everyone here?" Anissa asked.

In unison, all the girls looked her dead in the eye and answered: "Jin."

Anissa went quiet for a little while, then opened her can and took a good, long drink before crumpling it up and sitting beside Luna and Candace. Renee lay on her stomach on the couch facing them, and Kathy sat beside Anissa.

"...Why Jin?" Anissa asked.

"We're trying to figure out how to help him," Luna answered, "but the more we think about it..."

"...the more we think maybe there's nothing we can do," Candace finished solemnly.

"Yeah...I had the same thought earlier," Anissa admitted, "Dad told me even all of Castanet couldn't fill the void Rei left."

"He's not wrong," Renee sighed.

"Not at all," Kathy agreed.

The girls all took sips, and Kathy shook her head.

"I just wish there was something we could do to help ease things up on him," she said, "I know we can't fix things, but it seems even just being his friend isn't making much impact."

"It does, though," Anissa said hurriedly, "If we just abandoned him, things would be that much worse."

"She's right," Luna said, "We can't just stop caring when he needs it most. That would be really bad."

"We never would," Candace said adamantly, "It's just...it's been so hard to be around him. I know he's not doing it on purpose, but being around him just makes me feel so sad."

"We're so used to him smiling and laughing and bringing the kids by," Kathy sighed, "He used to bring Nami to the bar for lunch, and she'd always try new stuff and tell us how good everything was. I never knew a girl her age who would even TRY shrimp, much less actually kind of enjoy it."

"Nami was a little ray of sunshine, alright," Luna said, "She was like a tiny version of Rei when she was still a relentless party animal."

A few of them laughed. Anissa grabbed another can. She felt the buzz creeping up on her, and she couldn't help but kind of smile.

"I miss Rei," Luna said suddenly, "Like...I really really miss her."

"Me too," Candace said, "Even when she settled down, I still liked talking to her."

"She was finally starting to recover from Juniper, too," Renee sighed, "She was becoming a bit more like her old self."

Anissa considered for a moment, and then...

"Why did she leave?"

All eyes moved to her, and she looked to all of them with interest.

"Why did Rei go?" she asked again, "Jin won't answer me, no matter what."

"We've...actually all been trying to figure that out," Candace admitted, "but none of us really know."

"All we've got is that she let some stuff slip once to Candace a looooong time ago," Luna said, "Candace mentioned her parents, and Rei got a bit...affronted, I guess?"

"It sounded like she almost no relationship with them, from what Candace said," Kathy explained, "but all that really points to is, wherever Rei's parents are, she's not there."

"...To be honest, we sorta hoped you'd know, Anissa," Renee said, and the girl turned to face her, "Jin's really close to you, so we honestly figured you'd know something."

Anissa shook her head sadly.

"He wouldn't tell me no matter what. He insists he's sworn to secrecy and won't go further. He won't even hint, so even if I guessed the right thing, chances are he's denied it."

"If he hasn't told you, chances are he'll never tell anyone," Candace said, "and yes, I tried Irene."

"I feel like if he'd just talk about it, he'd feel better," Anissa said, "but he refuses."

"It might help a little bit, but betraying Rei would haunt him forever," Kathy said knowingly, "It's best not to push it."

"I guess you're right," Anissa admitted.

The others spent a few moments chattering while Anissa tried to think. Unfortunately, her thoughts only led her into downing another can, and soon she could only think of how hopeless everything had become.

"...Do you think she'll ever come back?" she asked.

"I hope so," Luna said.

Everyone was silent, and then Candace gently cleared her throat.

"...Do you hate her, 'Nissa?" she asked.

"Hate Rei?"

"Yeah..."

Anissa's hesitation seemed to be enough of an answer for Candace, who pulled her legs into her chest and looked to the wall.

"...Please don't hate Rei. I know you're mad at her, but Jin wouldn't keep her secrets if this was her fault..."

"I don't think I hate her, and that thought did occur to me," Anissa said gently.

"I'm glad...because she's really been good for Jin. She makes him smile..."

"A lot," Luna added.

"We all think Rei got forced to leave," Candace explained softly, "We think whatever the reason is, Rei didn't want to leave. We don't know what could cause her to have to go. Maybe something medical, or maybe it actually is something to do with her parents. But we all think that something forced her to go, and Jin couldn't be there."

"What would make her take the kids and not him, though?" Kathy asked, "I mean that makes no sense."

"Well, he is the doctor," Luna pointed out, "Maybe Rei felt she shouldn't strip Castanet of him, just in case something serious happened. I mean, Grandma Shelly isn't young anymore, and Irene can't do everything herself."

"But I just can't see that being a thing," Kathy said, "None of it makes sense. Plus, why take the kids? She could have left them with Jin, or had them spend some time with them both, depending on what's going on. But I can't think of anything that would demand the kids be with her, yet prevent Jin from joining them. The entire thing strikes me as nonsensical."

Anissa was silent for a few more moments.

"...Maybe she's in trouble," she said.

"Trouble?" Luna asked.

"It's possible," Candace said.

"But what would it be?" Kathy asked.

Anissa shook her head, unable to think of anything.

"I have nothing in mind," Anissa said, "...but what seems the most plausible to me is that Rei was forced away by something or somebody that we don't know about. She had a life before Castanet, after all, and none of us know anything of it."

The girls were all silent, and even the beer cans remained undisturbed as they all thought.

"...I just hope she and the kids are okay," Renee whispered.

"We all do," Kathy murmured.

Anissa found herself laying against the wall and staring at the ceiling, silent even after the conversations slowly restarted, and she couldn't think of anything realistic. All she could think was that somehow, somewhere, Rei was in trouble, and Jin's only way of protecting her was remaining silent.

She closed her eyes, and a tear crept down her cheek as the notion of it struck home.

There truly was nothing she could do for him.

=^x^=

"Make the arrangements..."

That's all she had to say. The paper was passed unseen between what looked like two perfect strangers. She walked on, paying for her groceries, picking up a few books for her daughter and a new video game for her son. The entire time, a smile was gracing her face. To most people, this wouldn't be odd, but those who knew her would have noted how long it had been since genuine happiness had graced her face.

Today, she'd achieved one of her greatest victories.

She returned home, put the groceries away, and lay her childrens' gifts upon their respective beds. She sunk into her desk chair and re-checked all of her notes, double checking everything she knew of this upcoming week, ensuring she could grant them the maximum amount of possible time.

Yes, she had it arranged perfectly. Tomorrow night would be the best night.

Alex returned home first. He raced up to his room and began his homework, only to hear his mother knocking on his door moments later.

"Hey, mom," he said, looking back to her with surprise. It was rare that they ever really spoke anymore. "Something up?"

"I figured I'd offer you and Nami a little vacation..."

She saw the red flag in Alex's eyes.

"It seems we are going to have a small space of time where we won't be watched," Rei explained quietly, "I, sadly, am unable to leave this place. However, I would think you and your sister can slip away for a little while..."

"...Mom, what are you saying?"

"Simply that you and Nami should get away from here for a little while. I will send for you two when your time to return comes, but you should have the most time if you leave tomorrow night."

Alex thought for a moment, looking everywhere from his mother to his wall.

"There's money over on your bed, along with a little gift," Rei said, smiling, "Use it to go wherever you wish. Get out of here for a little while. Take your sister somewhere fun. Go and just...be happy for a little while, okay?"

"...Okay, mom."

She left the room and Alex moved to his bed. He grinned at the new game before opening the envelope his mother had left and, sure enough, a generous chunk of cash rested inside. His heart skipped a few beats, and his thoughts flew towards what he felt was the most obvious choice...

The second his sister got home, he took her by the arm and pulled her into his bedroom. He showed her the envelope, told her what their mother had said, and her eyes were widened in shock as she breathed the words: "We can see-"

"Hush!" Alex whispered hurriedly, shushing her immediately, "We're not home free yet. I don't know how this is even possible but..."

He lowered his voice, looked her dead in the eye, and flashed a broad grin.

"...That's exactly where we're going, Nami. I promise."

"Alex..."

She leapt into him, clasping her arms around him tightly enough to deprive him of air. He toughed it out, though, as he watched his sister's eyes light up with the first trickles of hope he'd seen in the past six years.

"Thank you, Alex," she whispered, "Let's...let's go as soon as we can. I don't want to miss a second."

"Tomorrow night, we leave," Alex replied softly, "Pack the essentials. I remember where the boat is..."

"You're amazing, Alex."

She gave him another big, tight hug before rushing off to pack.

Downstairs, Rei sat at her desk, and her pen slowly began writing the contents of yet another piece of paper headed by the two words she enjoyed writing the most in life: "Dear Jin..."

Fin


End file.
